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| Sunday, 4 May 2003 |
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| News Business Features Editorial
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Mother's Day : Do we really need it ? by Carol Aloysius A Sunday from today, on May 11 to be exact, we will be celebrating another Mother's Day. Although this particular day has assumed importance in Sri Lanka comparatively recently, Mother's Day has been observed in most countries especially in the West for several years.President Woodrow Wilson officially declared the world's first Mother's Day as far back as 1914, seven years after its founder, Anna Jarvis declared the first Mother's Day in West Virginia in 1907 as a tribute to her late mother. Sadly, over the years, the image of the mother herself seems to have faded into the dim background.So too has the true spirit of Mother's Day that prevailed in those early years, when it was first celebrated. Then the mother took the centre stage in her home by being given a day off from her numerous domestic chores. Instead of going out to a plush hotel to celebrate the event, the family was content to simply enjoy some quality time with the woman who cooked, washed, cleaned and nurtured them- at home, with the father and children taking turns to do her chores on her well earned one day in a year holiday. Together , in those early pioneering days, the family would sit by the fireside, play games, read or talk about good times , making this a truly memorable day for the most important person in their lives. Today however , like Christmas and Easter , and other important events we celebrate worldwide, Mother's Day has become increasingly commercialised. The tinsel that surrounds this event, the lavish greeting cards, the bouquets and gifts and lavish hotel promotions seem to grow bigger and more expensive every year., Yet while they may serve as a reminder to husbands and children that their wives and mothers deserve to be honoured and given their due place for just this day at least, the question is , do we in Sri Lanka really need to celebrate a Mother's Day? To a society like ours where the mother has been traditionally honoured and cherished and whose virtues have been repeatedly extolled in our ancient poetry, songs and lyrics down the ages, a special day set aside for mothers is really not necessary,according to most mothers. What they along with mothers everywhere else really want, is to be recognised and honoured every day of the year for their multiple roles as unpaid cooks, cleaners, baby sitters, washerwomen, chauffeurs and bakers counsellors, and most importantly as carer and nurturer,. Yet playing these diverse roles have become increasingly difficult for today's mothers. Look around you. War has left a devastating impact on the lives of women everywhere. In Sri Lanka , as elsewhere in the world, a new breed of women has sprung up almost overnight - war widows who now manage their families single handedly without the help of a husband . Recent statistics cite as many as 40 percent of female headed houses in this tiny island- the result of a prolonged ethnic war. So does a mere single day in an year in her honour help to ease the pain, the financial burden and the immense responsibility a widowed mother has in bringing up her family single handedly? I guess not. Again, consider the growing number of single parents,young unmarried newly divorced mothers who have nevertheless accepted the full responsibility of caring for their offspring single handedly often without any support from their erstwhile husbands or lovers who have left them stranded no sooner they got pregnant. What does Mother's Day mean to them, except of course to underline the fact that society is still not ready to accept them as they continue to remain marginalised and ostracised even by their socalled respected counterparts. So as we prepare once more to pull out the tinsel and splurge on another Mother's Day next week, let's remember one important message; a mother is much too precious and important a person to be remembered and honoured for just one day of the year. She needs to feel loved and cherished by the family for whom she would gladly sacrifice her life, every minute of every day.She also needs to feel she shares an equal place in the home whether at table or in matters of important family decisions . For most men in our patriarchal society, this may well be the most difficult decision they have yet to make. |
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