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by Padma Edirisinghe

Parents, bridle up and see to it that your offspring get a good dose of the language of our third White conquistador, for it's supremacy as the most popular belle in the linguistic arena of the world has now been confirmed according to very authentic reports such as Reuters.

According to one report no less a body than the EC (European Commission) has made the public announcement that English will be the future official language of the EU, pushing German, the other contender away.

However as against the general position that a super victory like this is often accompanied by heaping of accolades and profuse Prashasthis (Eulogies) the EU has almost branded the winner as a chaotic figure. Hence several severe modifications of the language are suggested in a five - year phasing out to avoid "Konfusion" (not confusion).

The sweet little C has been recommended for total annihilation. Soft C to be replaced by S and hard C to be replaced by K. Sertainly chaotik. Isn't it? The silent letters that have confused all non-Anglo races for centuries are to go off plus the double "TT's and LL as in Little and Will. These queer mysteries or anamolies have been described as "disgraceful" according to this same report. The zigzagging zebra Z too is to replace "TH" while "PH" will be replaced by "F" to avoid further" konfusion" and "komplications. 'The report includes this queer sentence'.

"Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e' is disgrasful".

Speculation

Anyway do not take the envisaged changes too seriously. They are just intentions concocted in top brains to make English spelling and pronunciation more logical and less mysterious. Further we are not dominated by the EU, at least not yet.

There would have been wide speculation in the gathering of that super organization as to how this language despite all these incongruities zoomed to the position of the most popular global language.

In a July 7th dated Reuters report hard facts are given again about the pre - eminence of English.

According to this report it is a US Senator, who has declared that English has become the lingua franca of the world, while French is gradually becoming "a near forgotten" language and many French intellectuals have accordingly acknowledged the supremacy of English. French becoming "near forgotten" however could be an exaggerated statement for both these languages have rooted themselves in five continents but says the news report, "the economic and political might of the US has propelled English into top place as the most prestigious language in the world.'

Here are its specific credentials, cited by the same source.

•  English is spoken as a first language by some 375 million and as a second language by the same number.
• A quarter of the world's total population speak it with some level of competence
• English is the current language of international trade and business
• English dominates some 80% of the Internet
• "In havens of multi - culturism "as the United Nations it is pre-eminent.
• Bulk of the European Central Bank's web site is in English.
• East European countries too prefer English to French

This report ends with this sentence "The fear niggling the French is that, in the end, everyone might just give up and turn to English". Maybe as things are at present it is a fear niggling many races who are patriotically trying to boost their own languages.

Who said English is "Chaotik"? Not me. But the EU. Yet it has reached the winning post despite the chaos,. a dilemma fitting the chaotic age we live in, no doubt. Anyway it is a sweet chaos, the chaos of the English language that many of us, heirs to a colonial legacy have got attuned to.

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