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| Sunday, 28 March 2004 |
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'You get what you gift' by Farah Macan Markar
A visiting lecturer at the Department of Health Sciences in the Open University of Sri Lanka, she is the course facilitator for introductory psychology to nursing students in the faculty of natural sciences. Shanya did her primary and secondary schooling at Ladies College and then went to Kodaikanal International School, India, where she did an International Baccalaureate Diploma. Having a love for children, up to this point in her life, Shanya wanted to be a paediatrician. However the dissections of higher level biology soon changed her mind.
Thus Virasinghe went on to do a Bachelor of Arts Psychology (Hons) at the University of Nottingham, England and did her PhD at the University of Melbourne Australia, where she also worked as a probationary psychologist in various centres and hospitals. Speaking of her studies Shanya says they have been "tough" "challenging" and "hard work". "My studies have been vigourous, but have disciplined my mind and taught me to work independently, which has helped me a lot in the long run". Returning to Sri Lanka last July-August Shanya found herself in a crossroad. On one hand she felt like going back as there was more scope for a professional career, and on the other this was where her family and friends were. In the end Shanya decided to stay in her homeland and take the challenge of working in a rather culturally stigmatized job. Her first piece of work began in October 2002 at the National Child Protection Authority doing consultant clinical psychology for children who had been sexually abused. In February 2003 she began work at UNICEF as a special consultant, developing a psychosocial intervention for the training of student advisors, providing technical advice to the planning of a baseline assessment of the psychosocial needs of students attending schools in conflict and non-conflict areas of Sri Lanka, preparing education materials for advocacy and parent education, providing technical support for the proposed training of trainers and conducting training workshops with principals, teachers and zonal directors. However what Dr. Virasinghe really wanted was to get into doing therapy. Thus as of July 2003 she began professional consultation at the Medi Centre Clinic, then from September 2003 at Durdan's Hospital and of November 2003 at Asha Central Hospital. Psychology constantly changes just as the mind changes. Being a relatively new subject that has been studied, even psychologists' knowledge in the field is considerably limited and there are always new theories, new concepts and new aspects to be learnt in it. "Therapy" Shanya says "can be disturbing at times, just as life can be disturbing at moments, but on the whole it is a challenging, fulfilling job, specially when you see the child/person progressing". In a closely knit, cultural community, counselling has a long way to go here, as there is a lot of stigma associated with those seeking help. Says Shanya "People in Asia associate those going for therapy as having mental disorders, and thus stigmatise them with shame and ridicule. However this is all misunderstood. People seeking help do not necessarily have a mental disorder. They are merely seeking a solution or a way of dealing with a problem they find difficult to cope with on their own. Everyone goes through an emotional crisis at some time nor the other. People should stop stigmatizing those seeking help". Another blockade to seeking help, is the fact of having large extended families, who believe it best to keep whatever troubles within the family itself than let it out to a stranger. "However" says Dr. Virasinghe "at times it is better to tell an outsider who can look at the matter more clearly, without prejudice, see things in an objective way and give solid advice. And a trained sincere counsellor or psychologist is someone who has studied the ethics and will keep the matter confidential". Having dealt with children with behaviour problems, depressions, eating disorders, anxiety problems, social phobia and physical, sexual and emotional abuse, Shanya points out that the most important thing, is to listen to your child. "Be aware of your child and the people he/she hangs out with. Know your neighbours. Listen to what your child is saying. Look for the emotion behind the words, for children at times tell things indirectly. Talk with your children. Be sincere, honest and open, so that they in turn will trust and turn to you". Number one in English. Number one in Maths. Number one in Science. Best pianist, best artist, best cricketer/tennis player/swimmer. Parents driving their children to be super achievers is a common practice in Sri Lanka. "Parents today are pushing their children to be these superkids, which is too big a burden for a child to bare. Parents should not forget that children are children and that life can be difficult for a child too. We come home from work to rest. Children come home, loaded with homework, followed by hours of tuition, loads of extracurricular activities etc. Where is the time for a child to be a child? To relax, play, laugh and smile. Education and extracurricular activities are important, but even more is the spirit of a child. We shouldn't destroy it so young, fresh and impulsive" says Shanya. Another factor she points out is that people work better when they are happy, confident and relaxed, not unhappy, stressed and under pressure, and that this same rule applies for children too. Having had a playful, inquisitive, mischievous childhood herself, Shanya would read anything she got her hands on, make up and play imaginative, creative childhood games with her brother Prithvi and get quite a few smacks as well which she says "Were well deserved". Shanya today still loves to read, do glass and pottery painting, camp out, go horse riding, white water rafting, see drama and ballet and participate in ecological and environmental programmes. She also does squash, swimming, tae bo, kick boxing and yoga. The biggest influence in her life, has been her parents whom she says made her realise she could be whatever she wanted to be provided she worked towards it. "My parents instilled in me that if you want to get somewhere you've got to work hard towards getting there, cause in life you reap what you sow. Finally you get out what you put in". |
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| Produced by Lake House |
She maybe just twenty eight year's, but she's a sincere, enthusiastic,
professional, in what she does, clinical child psychology. Consulting at
the Medi Centre Clinic, Durdan's Hospital and Asha Central Hospital
Dr.Shanya Virasinghe has had six years intensive study in the field.
"Dissections were not for me. At this time I was also doing higher
level psychology in which I had a wonderful teacher who really inspired me
in the subject. I decided then that it would be my line".
