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| Sunday, 22 August 2004 |
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'JRJ' foresees UNP burial From the Kraal Mahout On Thursday, the Kraal Mahout, on information that a special cabinet meeting was being convened in the land of the dead by the "Greens", chaired by J.R. Jayewardene, visited that land to learn what they discussed. The group comprised only men and women who had entered that land after 1977. The previous batch from 1952, led by D.S. Senanayake had retired after the entry of JRJ to avoid conflict and confrontation. They were peacefully resting in their official bungalows allocated to them in that land. "Do Not Disturb" signs were displayed close to that location, may be to avoid the younger batch from disturbing the senior group resting in peace. At the meeting, 'JRJ' was in the chair flanked by his deputy R. Premadasa on his right. The left seat was vacant with JRJ unable to decide between Lalith Athulathmudali and Gamini Dissanayake. JRJ turned to his Cabinet Secretary, G.V.P. Samarasinghe and asked what the business on the agenda was. "Sir, today we have given priority to evaluate the current status of our party in the land of the living", the Cabinet Secretary announced. "That is quite timely and urgent. Otherwise my party may be buried soon", the old man quipped looking at Premadasa. Premadasa nodded, looking at his former General Secretary, Ranjan Wijeratne seated before him. JRJ said that they should first discuss the status of the discipline in the party in the land of the living. The cabinet agreed and JRJ sought their views. The first to take the floor was Premadasa who said, "Sir, unlike your days and my days, there is no discipline at all in the party". Adding to his complaint, Premadasa said that meetings summoned by the present leader was being ignored and at some meetings there was no quorum. "I agree, this was what Hameed told me as he came here", JRJ supported the view of Premadasa. The fiery Premadasa continued to say that even the present leader Ranil Wickremesinghe did not maintain discipline at the head table at party meetings. "Sir, my confidante, Sirisena Cooray has sent me many faxes that juniors are accommodated at the head table while the seniors are overlooked". "Now tell me what Cooray has said", JRJ interjected. "Sir, Karu sits on the right of Ranil and that novice Mahinda Samarasinghe sneaks into the left seat and there is no decorum", Premadasa said, perusing a fax. V.L. Wijemanne, the UNP giant in the Kalutara District during JRJ's leadership in the land of the living, complained that he had received a letter from a present UNP MP in his district stating that Samarasinghe, who never pulled crowds for party meetings and had no base at Matugama, should not be the district leader now if the UNP wanted to win that district. Former Speaker Bakeer Markar added that because of such people, his son Imtiaz gave up party politics. JRJ, who introduced Mahinda to politics got over the crisis in his inimitable style, saying he too had a complaint to Ranil about Mahinda's move to sneak into Colombo West which was his political base. Devout Christian The next to rise was former Posts and Telecommunication Minister, Shelton Jayasinghe, the first to enter the land in 1977. Jayasinghe, a devout Christian complained that Prof. G.L. Peiris, the ousted spokesman of Ranil had erected a rear gate at his Kirula Place residence, blocking entry to a religious place of worship. "Sir, when we were there, we were charged for communal disturbances. Now the government might charge our party of trying to create religious disturbances", the pint-sized Jayasinghe lamented. Premadasa interjected at this juncture to say that Ranil had taken all the trouble-makers from the SLFP and that was one problem in the UNP today. JRJ nodded and added: "Yes... I agree, I used people in the opposition only for my benefit". "Sir, then what about Ronnie De Mel ?" asked Cyril Mathew, at the corner of the cabinet table. "Cyril, he was good material for either side like Sarath Amunugama today and Ranil may be feeling the loss of Sarath now", the old man quipped. At this point, Gamini Dissanayake recalled that he left a book on Discipline and Decorum in the drawer of the Opposition Leader's desk in the Parliament chamber before he made his sudden entry to that land and requested JRJ to send a message to Ranil to study it. Gamini Athukorale, now Deputy Minister of Sports in JRJ's cabinet there, deputising for Vincent Perera who was indisposed said he saw Ranil collecting that book upon taking that position. "May be Ranil needs time to understand as he thinks of playing a long innings", cracked Athulathmudali. Adding a pinch of salt to it JRJ said, "I have played the longest innings and my constitution still plays over there though I am here." At the conclusion, it was agreed to request Premadasa, Hameed, M.D.H. Jayawardene and Anandatissa De Alwis to fax a report on how party discipline should be maintained if Ranil had plans to play a long innings. |
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