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A throb of matriarchy

by Elmo Leonard

St Nikolaas Home, Dehiwala, is a throb of matriarchy where 50 ladies live out the winter of their lives. For some, their twilight is a wide expanse; one such, is Brenda Don Paul 98 - highly tipped to reach a century.

Peggy de Silva, a former staff nurse at the National Hospital is second in this devil-take-the-hindmost quest, at 97. And the all-purpose Consy Muller, who taught at Good Shepherd Convent, Kotahena, is also 97. Violette Young, a housewife is young at heart, at 92.

Eunice Patternott 90, who had worked as a housekeeper, is happy as the proverbial lark, they said. There are too many ladies, here, in their 80s, to report on. The matron, also a fulltime resident, is Mrs Christine (Van Hoff) Perera, being younger and relatively, more active.

If you want to hear English as spoken in Sri Lanka over 70 years ago (all inmates are natural English speakers, being Burghers). Or, have a taste of the forgotten middle class culture of colonial times. Or, even, listen to stories of the First and Second World Wars, for instance, you must visit St Nikolaas Home.

Five ladies could play the piano, they said. And while the piano lingered on, many old female voices abstracted in melody.

There were many on the waiting list, not as fortunate as the 50 at home sweet home. If names interest you, there was, Kathleen Clements an Eurasian, who called herself, Wijekoon; Bertha Dickson, Rajan, after marriage; Pauline Van Gazer, later Graham; Esthel, nee Pareira, Tennekoon; Melba Ashburn; Ruth Raiz, now Ferdnands.

For relaxation, they play carrom, cards, a game called thian chona (in Portuguese) a Chinese game called chequers, among others.

Sewing, knitting, crocheting, turning out carpets, dressing dolls, was the past time of middle class women of over 50 years ago continues, here. But, nothing goes on, on a commercial scale and Brenda makes exquisite door rugs and presents them to her relations, niece, Margie Van Dort said.

There are rooms and dormitories, and visitors are welcome. St Nikolaas Home has their wellwishers, like the Lion's Women, Women Mission Union and Mother's Union who from time to time provide a meal, different to what is home cooked.

Brenda, recalled, her father, Mark John de Rosario, an Anglo Indian, who worked at Walcott Brothers, India. He came to Sri Lanka as a single man. De Rosario, married Mabel Lodowyke. He worked as an apothecary in the hill country tea plantations, Galaha and Deltota, Estates, Galaha and Bogahawatte Estate, Kotmale.

Brend recalled siblings, Marcus, Jeena who married an Eurasian planter, Charles Atton and had 14 children, Percy, Millie, Aloy who lives in Perth, Australia, and Eric a retired station master, resident in Talawathugoda.

Brenda's earliest recollections was India, for when she was two years old, her grandmother Caroline took her mother's fourth born to Calicut, in Kerela, from where her father hailed. Her father visited her once every year. She came to know of her mother and her adoption outside the land of her birth, at 16, and then, came back to Sri Lanka. "My mother did not visit me in India, because she had to look after her other children," Brenda explained.

The English speaking Indian middle class of British times shared a cultural denominator with that of the middle class of Ceylon. Brenda recalls, St Joseph's European High, School, Calicut, where she studied the arts, and also Algebra and Geometry.

Brenda was 34 years old, when she married Julian Don Paul, of the Health Ministry, had no child, and lived in their home in Dalugama, Kelaniya.

Brenda worked for 20 years as a "telephonist" and accounts clerk, at M P Gomez and Co Ltd, Main Street, Pettah, Colombo.

When her husband died in 1972, she sold her house and went to live in Eventide Home, Dehiwala. Brenda came to St Nikolaas Home in 1982.

Brenda is the live wire of her home for aged women. She is an exquisite pianist; captivates the crew with her songs of Jim Reeves. She is also a television and radio addict.

What are your noteworthy recollections? Perhaps, the sinking of the Titanic? But, Brenda's reaction was: "don't write so much about me," being a reflection of her modesty.

Brendas longevity perhaps can be put down to her genes, the active life she lead in India and on the up country plantation estates.

Her love for garlic curries, she often cooks, according to niece Margie Van Dort. And, perhaps, more than any other, her forgiving nature and undying warm smile, according to niece Connie Peterson.

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Produced by Lake House
Copyright 2001 The Associated Newspapers of Ceylon Ltd.