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| Sunday, 19 March 2006 |
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Fighting 4 luv dissin' the system by rikki Is fighting, in simpleton terms, good, or bad? With 'fighting' I do not refer to battles, war or plain invasion like when Bush jr. - lil' Georgie dear - recruits his poor fellow man, mostly blacks with a sprinkling of whites thrown in to make a colourful and politically correct picture, to bomb down a country that he deems a good investment for him and his friends, taking the lives of everyone in the process of course.
With 'fighting' I refer to the confrontation, the passing of angry, spiteful words and black looks between two or sometimes more people. Like the fights between lovers, mothers and their bachelor sons, fathers and their teenage daughters. Fights between two siblings, two friends, a husband and wife, a husband and husband, or vice versa. Basically a clash between two persons who love and care for each other. Ado these confrontations do any good to those involved and the others around them? Are they a necessary vice, or an unnecessary and excessive indulgence? A way to feel better by hurting someone else? True, fights do end up with hurt being caused, but usually it is to both the parties involved, for if there is any love shared between them, there is no means of hurting the other, however unintentionally, without being hurt oneself. It is not just the person pulled in to the fierce argument that is hurt, but the person who initiated as well. For if two people exhibit any of love's various forms towards each other, then there is no escaping pain when the other experiences it as well. Then again if two persons love each other deeply and do not, deep inside, intend to cause pain to the other, is there really an initiation of a confrontation, or is it simply an underlying crisis brought out to the forefront? And here in lies the importance of a 'good' fight. When two people who care for each other engage in such an emotionally violent activity, it is for good reason. Such people do not wish to simply humiliate their partners in any way, no matter what the angry feelings on the surface may tell them. A 'good' fight however hard however scarring brings to the surface a buried problem, a glitch in the relationship that needs to be discussed with some heat and then sealed off forever. Talking things out most definitely help, yet it is the nature of the human being to pretend that everything's alright, that there is nothing to discuss, until a fight brings out the now worsened problem to be taken care of once and for all, and then to be not brought up again. People say things they do not mean when they fight. They accuse each other of various things that they o not believe to be true. They cry. All in all they let out their so far buried anger and frustrations until they are collected enough to discuss, compromise, take action and then feel silly about the whole affair. Fights teach us how to talk to the other so important person and in effect help prevent the loathed activity from happening again. So fights in essence, do strengthen relationships. There are times however when a fight goes all wrong and rather than ending with apologies and hugs, ends with the two people driven farther away, detrimentally. This is when a fight, instead of being done with in the proper manner is dragged on too long. It usually means that selfishness rather than selflessness that love must inspire in us has reigned and perhaps there is love no more, or there was no love to begin with. It could also mean that while one party does love, the other does not necessarily love. Or it usually means it is due to the very same reason that divorce rates are so high the world over. People do not want to compromise; they do not want to try. One simply cannot have it all. Even to reap the most luscious of rewards, there must be some giving up of to do. So basically, fights are an important part of any relationship as long as it is controlled and does not occur too frequently. (If it does, you've got some serious thinking, understanding and observing to do.) There are always exceptions and some of us are blessed enough to go through their life without having to ever fight with their loved one. Nevertheless such two soul mates are few and far between. Thus
confrontations between two people who have love for each other are an
essential element of their relationship. An element that will definitely
leave a ghastly scar, yet make you appreciate what you have been given. Of
course, violence is intolerable and just like a lot of things; fights too
are just fine, when in small doses. |
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