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| Sunday, 19 March 2006 |
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Short story - Although I love you... "Yes, he is there. The ideal day to pour my heart out" Anjali told herself in delight. She as felt as if she was high up above the clouds. The tall dark figure with a thick crop pitch black hair seemed absorbed in the book he was reading.
The smoke emanating from his cigarette made the environment hazy adding a dreamy quality to the whole setting. It added a certain aura to him. "Shall I sit here?" She asked boldly. "Nice seeing you at this time of the day" she heard a brisk reply in a husky voice. His husky voice addressed her heart deeply. How could he indulge in reading when such beauty is seated in front of him? This was what she thought on the very first day also. Involuntarily she went down memory lane to awaken memories of the very first encounter between them. He seemed arrogant and Anjali wanted to know who he was. When asked he didn't reply. He asked another question instead. "Do you want to know my social role to identify me as a human being? Anjali was flabbergasted to hear such boldness. It took some time for her to understand what he said. She thought he would be quite impressed by her beauty and would answer her so gladly. To Anjali it appeared that feminine beauty was a thing that any male could hardly resist. His tough resistance and ignorance of her beauty became quite surprising to her. How different he is? How will he behave as a lover? How different he would be as a lover? She became pre occupied with these thoughts after her first conversation with him and she could still remember how he answered a question she asked about feminine beauty on the very same day. Anjali often recollected the exact words he uttered with extreme nostalgia. Fascinating "As any aesthete would say it is the most wonderful and beautiful thing in the world. But my ideal of feminine beauty is necessarily different from the opinion of the majority. Some consider nudity of a woman erotic. But for me, a fully clothed woman could be more erotic than a naked woman. Nudity shown explicitly is not at all erotic to me. It becomes fascinating when it is left to the imagination of the beholder. You could go on imagining and giving different interpretations to her beauty without being satisfied with one. It is a bizarre kind of beauty you see there. I find those half naked Greek statues of women more impressive than fully naked ones for they reveal beauty implicitly beneath flimsy garments and I have to tell you this also quite frankly. If you came here with the idea of seducing me, the micro mini skirt that you are wearing serves no purpose at all. Anjali took some time to digest what he said. Simultaneously, she was so embarrassed to hear such a remark about her attire. Yet it was this very remark which made her look to him as a larger than life character. 'He is my kind of person' she was pre occupied with this thought. The feeling that she had for him was inexplicable and incomprehensible. It was a concoction of awe, reverence and marvel. Anjali was considered a non-conformist by everybody. Even her parents repeatedly asked her to change her ways saying she would fall into danger one day if she continued her life like this. Yet she was so adamant saying that she would not change her way of life for anybody's sake. Even about marriage her ideas differed vastly. She never wanted a prince charming to come to her with a rose and propose marriage. She often thought why not take the lead and propose marriage to the man you've fallen in love with. If you are really in love, what the hell you do keeping it to yourself. Why should only men take the lead in expressing love? Marry He was still reading. But Anjali couldn't bear it any longer. "I have something to tell you". She said hesitantly. I would like to marry you. This might come as a surprise. But that's what I truly feel. She said with great composure of spirit. He stood up calmly leaving the book on the table. "Never expected such boldness so quickly. Yet, I appreciate it to a great extent. I think you are my kind of person. But I have to tell you quite frankly that I'm so different in every sense. My ideas on marriage are very different. We'll not be one soul just because we marry. We'll be two distinct individuals having our own ways even after marriage. Will you like it madam? Will you be able to tolerate all these" saying these, he kissed her on the forehead. "That's what I exactly need, dearest. Love itself is a great commitment that a person makes for the sake of another human being. I'm quite prepared to ransom my life even for the one I love Never will I compromise my love for anything else in the world" Anjali said in delight. She felt as if she was floating. She wondered how the consummation and the rest of her life will be like with such a different person. She realized that she has taken a big risk. Yet she never repented. Time went on. The much looked-forward-to event arrived. Nobody knew about it. No roses nor lilies were there to praise them. But both of them were quite happy thinking that matters close to the heart should not be made public to have the real pleasure of it. "I have to show you something interesting" he told her the first night. Then he brought a small painting to the bed where Anjali was lying quite excitedly. " A thing of beauty is joy forever"that was mentioned on the top of the painting and there was a beautiful woman painted half-clothed. The women exactly resembled Anjali. The fine curves of her body were visible beneath the creases of her flimsy garment. So erotic she appeared in the posture she was lying. "Anjali can you remember what I told you about feminine beauty one day. I did this painting imagining about you. Will you agree with me about what I said? Never have you appeared this erotic to me so far in the stuff you've worn. Anjali, you are a thing of beauty to me. I never want to molest that and lose the ideal I have about you. I want you to be a thing of beauty forever." Saying that he stared at her face compassionately as if to observe her reaction. Anjali listened to him dazed. She became quite dumbfounded to hear such words on the very first night of their marriage. She believed him to be so romantic and erotic as a lover. But it seemed everything has turned topsy- turvy. Tears trickled down her cheeks uncontrollably. The romantic world that she built with utmost love had collapsed into bits and pieces. She felt like dying. But with much difficulty she managed to regain composure and said: "Do you think that I'm an aesthetic object to be admired only? Are you going to live your whole life idealizing women? Am I not made of flesh and blood? Can't you see that I'm a human being with feelings and emotions? Theories don't work everywhere. When you said you are different in never struck me that it is in every sense. What a good lover I thought you to be. How erotic, romantic and poetic I imagined you to be? Why did you do this to me? So far I believed I'm different from the rest of the world in every aspect. But now I know I'm also another human being when it comes to human needs. Nobody would compromise pleasures of the flesh to anything else in the world. Even the most sublime love of their life will not satisfy a person completely unless it is consummated." saying this she turned the other side and started crying bitterly. After a lapse of few seconds he placed a soft kiss on her rosy cheeks. Then only he sensed the supple quality of her skin offered him satisfaction that he has never experienced before. Indu Gamage, University of Ruhuna |
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