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| Sunday, 02 April 2006 |
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That's life... They call them marriage proposals but entertainment certainly can't get any better than that. I have had many a laugh over some of the qualities they're listed for brides and grooms. Needless to say that I honestly enjoyed writing out this little skit according to what I think people talk about when two families meet for the first time.
The boy's mother (hereinafter addressed as Sylvie please) will scrutinize the girl (Just think of choosing a fat cow at the market if you may). "An yes" she'dsay" she's fair pretty and slim" Sylvie will probably heave a sigh of blessed relief as these important criteria are ticked off on the list she's carrying in hand. Then she will address the girl's mother (hereinafter addressed as Juliet if you please) "Now, can she speak English?" "Bathysiderodromophobia is the dreaded fear of subways" the girl will answer smugly. Oh, excellent! Sylvie will gush and marvel at her genius at having chosen such a fine cow... I mean "girl" of course. The girl's father Ernest will clear his throat at this point. "Errr... does Putha have a six figure salary?" he'll ask. Sylvie has obviously been waiting for this particular question. She will lick her lips and nudge her husband Arthur back to life. "Of course, of course, why not, why not..." Arthur will answer the question in the typical Sri Lankan style. But Ernest will be now in his element and he would feel that he should do his part. "Good, very good, but does he have a company maintained car and a two storeyed house in the heart of Colombo?" Arthur cackles loudly "What are you talking Earnest my boy ... putha has two cars. Two cars! would you believe it?" Juliet will let out a gasp and clap Ernest on the back "Oh Ernest! now isn't that nice?" "She'll ask her eyes gleaming and she'll sight the urge to do a little dance next to the teapoy holding the cream crackers, cheese, and tea. Ernest will say that it's all very nice indeed. Only, he'll be a trifle peeved at being called Arthur's boy. Now that certainly won't do ... At this point Juliet will think that it's high time to say something good about her girl too. "Of course our eldest son is a lawyer in U.S.A" puts in Sylvie unable to quite hide her pride. "Really?" Sylvie and Arthur will chorus together "And our eldest daughter is studying for her masters in England" Juliet will carry on the saga of her family" and our youngest son just got a degree in Canada". "On how absolutely smashing!" Sylvie will shriek, seated on the edge of her chair. Enough degrees, countries and brothers, Arthur will think Did I tell in my first letter that my great grand father's Pappa's sister-in-law's grandfather's sister's husband was the chauffeur of Lord Pompworthy when he came down from England (said with a touch of admiration just there you see to Ceylon?" There'll be a silence hanging over the crowd and Juliet will be the one to break it "Oh how absolutely will connected "she'll gush (That urge to dance again...) "Why Julie, just like my Daddy's uncle no? Ernest will interrupt here." "Oh, is that so?" Sylvie will ask (Her friend had told her that the earlier you dig the dirt the better...) "Of course yes" Ernest will bang his fist on the arm of his arm chair in ... well... in earnest actually. "Of course yes" he'll yell a second time as if Sylvie had somehow challenged this piece of history in his family. The only piece of history too for that matter unless you consider the time when Ernest's grandaunt had an affair with the gardener only to ditch him for the butcher with six children. ("Machang", Ernest's friend had told him" You shouldn't keep secrets like this, but somethings are better told after the weddings") "Why my Daddy's uncle once smoked a cigarette with the chap whose great grandfather had driven Lady Chucklepenny from Colombo to Kandy. "Why Sri Lanka was then Ceylon mind you" (The cast bit added to give tale some backbone) "Ah, Ernest my boy" Arthur will start (and Ernest will wince)" our tale was in the family now" Arthur will shift his weight purposely creating a pregnant pause. "None of these smoking cigarettes with chaps driving Bucklepennys here and there ..." Sylvie will note the tone in her husband's voice which she thought was what had kept that girl from Horton Place from accepting her putha's proposal. "Arthur, you must tell them about our party on Saturday" interrupted Sylvie. Arthur told them about the party, about the families who have been invited "The Drushyamanas always come to our parties" Arthur will say brushing off cream crackers crumbs from his shirt. Juliet will beam at her daughter and they'd all go to the door seen Sylvie, Arthur and their son, off. "We'll tell him that it was Chucklepenny and not Bucklepenny on Saturday won't we? 'Ernest will be heard asking Juliet as they walk back indoors. n - Dilini Algama |
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