Short story -

Illusions

'Calm down. It's OK. You are going to be OK. Just stop resisting,' he heard as he struggled. His arms and legs were tightly strapped down to a bed and bright white lights were blinding his eyes.

'Stop, please stop!' he begged as he felt a sharp needle entering his arm.

'We have to for your sake. You're so close to completing your task,' mumbled monotonous voices evading his autonomy, violating his wishes. He laid there helplessly, as he drifted away into deep slumber...

''Oh my...

' he gasped as he got up, bathed in sweat.

'Jake, Jake what on earth is the matter with you? This has been your third nightmare in a row,' whined his wife.

'I could feel it Jessica,' he screamed in hysterics. 'I could feel the needle poked into me!'

'For heaven's sake Jake, I need my rest and so does the baby,' she complained as she stroked her bulging belly revealing her heavy pregnancy. 'I'm sorry Jes. I'm sorry. It's just that...

''Just go to sleep Jake,' she cut in annoyed.

He looked at his beautiful wife and stroked her golden locks. 'OK sweetheart, get some rest.

' Kissing her on the forehead he rolled around in bed and closed his eyes, but he could not forget the nightmare. It was just too real he heard his thoughts echo. Just too real!

Goodbye

He got up early in the morning, got dressed, kissed his wife goodbye and set off for work. As his driver drove his Benz out of the driveway of his mansion, he reflected upon his past. It was a luxurious life he led where he had it all.

He was a hot shot, with a big bank balance, good health, a beautiful wife and a father to be. Yet, he felt a deep void in his life, as if something was not quite right. Something his unconscious tried to reveal through dreams but failed to understand. However, his life had been like a bed of roses. So he carried on uncomplaining, even though so many questions nagged him from the back of his mind.

Weeks passed by, but his dreams became increasingly violent and painful. He even started to suffer occasional blackouts and his health began to go downhill. He was worried about Jessica's reaction toward his retardation and decided to seek psychological help. And so he found himself on a couch, preparing himself for a discussion with his therapist.

'Now Jake I want you to relax and tell me what is bothering you. Please be honest and don't feel under any pressure, just take your time and tell me how you feel.' 'Well, I might be going crazy, but I think that I'm being subjected to some kind of experiment. I think that I am abducted and then returned back to my normal life but cleansed of any memory I might have made.'

'Hmmm, Well Jake you have been very resistant. It seems as if you have realized the truth even though we have no idea how. We believe it is time to end the simulation.' And with that Jake's world went completely blank.

Charade

His eyes fluttered open and in blurred vision met daunting familiar bright white lights. He heard a voice he recognized from before. His therapist was beside the bed on which Jake laid in a white surgical gown.

'Hello 50.2,It's a pleasure to finally come face to face with our most elusive creation. My name is Dr. Gilbert. I understand that you must feel quite confused about this little charade. Come 50.2, let me enlighten you.'He took Jake's hand as if he were a little boy and tugged him gently, instructing him to follow.

With his mouth half open Jake's eyes wandered in fascination. Never before had he seen or even imagined a world as advanced or deviant as this. The atmosphere reeked with the odour of disinfectant.

There was no sight of a window that opened to the outside world. He passed room after room full of intimidating high tech equipment, none of which he desired to observe intimately. But most of all he was haunted by the eerie silence, disturbed only by the shuffling sounds of ghost-like personnel dressed in white, walking by whilst engrossed with their clipboards.

'Don't be alarmed 50.2. I would appreciate it if you stopped squeezing my fingers- they're starting to feel a bit numb!' chucked Dr. Gilbert. Jake felt his ears heat up with embarrassment, feeling like a naive child exploring a blasphemous world he did not wish to be part of.

'You see,' exclaimed Dr. Gilbert shattering his thoughts, 'we have been conducting numerous experiments to understand the psychology of human behaviour.

There have been so many dilemmas to investigate the effects of different environments and its interactions on cognitive and psychological behaviour. It was completely impossible to construct a setting void of extraneous variables that would otherwise render the experiment biased. Well, until of course you were created 50.2.

You and your clones have been a massive breakthrough in unravelling the enigmas that have been debated upon for centuries!' He paused as if he was waiting for a response. 'When will I be able to see Jessica again? Is she OK?' whimpered Jake in confusion and exhaustion, uninterested in the garble that Dr. Gilbert had uttered.

'Hmmm, Jessica. Oh yes, you were subjected to an affluent, male domineering family simulation. Yes, I remember. We were going to investigate how you would cope with a disabled child...'

'My baby, what's wrong with my baby?' bawled Jake.

'50.2, please calm down. You are disturbing the ongoing experiments,' hushed Dr. Gilbert. 'I remember 40.8, another dramatic clone like you. It was subjected to an isolation simulation, a bit like Robinson Crusoe. Unfortunately 40.8 malfunctioned and took its life- or so we think. But you 50.2, you truly showed great potential. It's a pity that you discovered the operation. Now of course you are of no use. You are beyond brainwashing without hindering experimental findings. We have no choice but to terminate.

''So you mean that I can return back to my life, back to Jessica, to our baby?' 'Oh 50.2, I was hoping that you would understand by now. The problem is you have no real life. It was all a simulation. Every single detail, every event that you faced was pre-programmed to test how you would react. We created your fate, we decided your destiny. The life you ask of is just a pretty advanced hologram, in other words - nonexistent.'

Emotions

Jake's heart was welling up with emotions that ached and begged to be released. It can't be true, he heard his thoughts scream. How can it be nonexistent, I heard it, I touched it, I lived it. This can't be right - it can't be. 'Right, this is what I wanted to show you.'

Dr. Gilbert opened a door and stepped aside making way for Jake to enter a dark, dingy room. 'Let's get some lighting in here shall we,' said Dr. Gilbert with a note of excitement in his voice.

A fluorescent tube lit up and Jake found himself beside a very large panel of complicated keys and screens. Why don't you do us the honour and press that green button there,' pointed Dr. Gilbert as a huge green ominous button that threatened a detestable outcome. Nevertheless Jake found his trembling finger firmly pushing down on the switch and with a clicking noise Jake witnessed a horrendous reality.

Before him was a large monitor surrounded by shatterproof glass, which had slipped his attention before. It was divided into grids by illuminating lines, creating some sort of three-dimensional screen. In a flash he saw his house, then his work place, then the beach he had visited a million times, and finally he saw his love, caressing her swollen belly.

Vanished

'Jessica,' he screamed as he ran towards her, but blocked by the glass on which his fists pounded on with tremendous force. Then in a blink of an eye, she vanished. Like an image on a television screen, like some sort of sick computer game. 'Jessica,' he whispered as he sobbed and fell down lifelessly onto his knees.'50.2, I told you that none of this is real. Not Jessica, not the baby, not your job. It's all a simulation.' 'How do I know this is real?' heaved Jake, as hot tears rolled down his cheeks, demanding for an explanation.

'Ah, 50.2, how do any of us know what is real. The reality is that everything you did, said and ever felt was all in your mind. All we did was feed the simulation into your brain and transmit the reactions onto a screen through this,' he said showing some sort of headwear that was connected to the screen via numerous wires and supports. 'How can I put this, hmmm, well... it was like you were just dreaming.

But the beauty is that you did not know you were dreaming. It was all real for you...too real for you to accept it as an illusion. 'Dr. Gilbert walked towards the door and Jake instinctively followed pursuit.

Ignorant of his destination he followed aimlessly as his head throbbing with so many unbearable realizations sinking in with an agonizing resentment. 'What happens now?' enquired Jake with a hint of bitterness and helplessness in his voice.

'Well 50.2...'

'My name is Jake, Jake damn it!' he bellowed in anger and frustration.

Dr. Gilbert, taken aback by his sudden outburst, paused for a second and continued. 'Alright, Jake, like I said before we have no choice but to terminate this experiment.

' He entered another room, and as Jake stepped in he was ceased from behind by several other scientists and was forcefully strapped onto a bed. Jake turned his head and his eyes focused on another human, just like him, a clone, dreaming away without any knowledge of what was truly happening around him. 'It has been an experience watching you evolve 50...I mean Jake. I'm quite sure that your brain will be of great interest to all of us.'

With those last words Jake felt a prick in his arm for the last time. He felt an overpowering drowsiness beckoning him to a land of peace. And as he drifted away he heard his heart whisper, Life is such a bitter sweet illusion.

By Thamali Jayasinghe, Medical School of Kings College, London.