Short story: Sour grapes

Mrs. Fernando was eagerly waiting for the postman to arrive at her doorstep. For her it seemed that there was a remote possibility of his coming that day. It was not even ten in the morning. But time seemed to pass so slowly.

As a young girl anticipating a love letter she also looked forward to this event every month. She was gradually falling asleep in the rocking chair. But she didn't give in.

Suddenly she heard the tring-tring of the postman.

With an agility and vigour of a small child she got up. Her face became bright and a smile popped up in her face. She ran to the gate and picked the letter up. She heaved a sigh of relief. 'Thank God' she uttered to herself. After all it was her pension slip.

Experience

Mrs. Fernando had thirty years of experience as a teacher. She was a devoted teacher, mother of two and a grandmother now. As a teacher, she didn't earn much. She had to spend her salary with utmost care those days.

Household expenses, tuition fees of her daughters, bus fare amounted to one big load that she couldn't easily handle. Despite all these hardships she managed to do everything for her family.

When she was in her blooming youth also she had to suppress her cravings because of the problems that she had in her family. Her father died when she was very young. She had to shoulder the responsibilities of her family as well.

Whenever she wanted to buy something she thought twice and most of the time she gave up her desires in the name of her children's needs. In other words, motherly love superseded her desire. But in her hearts of heart she wanted to dress and stay gracefully all her life.

Both her children studied well and secured good jobs. Her efforts became fruitful somehow. That was the only source of consolation she had. She lived her life happily.

But there was something which made her unhappy. She did not have enough money to spend on her needs.

Looks

Now she was in the evening of her life. Still she wanted to look graceful. She believed in ageing gracefully. But work at home hardly permitted her any time to take care of her looks.

Yet she looked pleasant. She was bored of the daily chores that she had to attend to. Yet she couldn't escape from that cycle. Now she had her grandchild whom she loved so much to take care of. She could hardly resist the envious feelings which arose when she saw elderly ladies killing time in clothes shops and salons in order to conceal the signs of ageing.

When she retired, she thought of devoting much time and money for what she couldn't afford to do when she was young. But everything turned topsy-turvy after her retirement. The situation became worse.

Expectations

Every month she had many expectations to fulfil. On each day, she collected the pension, her heart fluttered with joy. But in no time, it vanished when she had to slowly divide the small sum to spend on household expenses.

Mrs. Fernando had an important matter to spend on this month. That was the wedding of the daughter of her best friend. She wanted to buy a saree for that. A few months back, she chose a saree when she went shopping with her eldest daughter. But as she was short of money she had to give up the idea of buying it.

Her daughter, Amalka didn't notice it. Mrs. Fernando never wanted to cause trouble to her children. She knew the financial difficulties people encountered in this fast-moving world. She left it behind at the shop and returned home very reluctantly.

'Whatever occurs I'm going to buy it next month'. She made a firm decision. That night she dreamt of it. In the dream she saw herself dressed in the beautiful saree. She really looked elegant.

The big day dawned. She got up early than usual and attended to house hold chores enthusiastically, got ready and took the kid to the pre-school. Throughout there was a smile on her face.

That day she exchanged a few words with most of the people she met on her way or else at least she greeted them with a smile. By sharp ten, she was there at the post office.

There were several people waiting at the post office. "I'm not the only person who anticipates the pension" she uttered to herself. That idea made her mind relaxed.

Returned

Mrs. Fernando returned home with it. She had the idea of buying the saree the next day. She was thrilled. She felt as if she was returning home with a lump of gold. She went in to her room and set apart some money for household expenses.

She had to allocate a considerable part of that sum to pay up the bills and buy household necessities. Her youngest daughter, Nimali was at home that day. She came in with a steaming cup of tea.

"Amma, this month I need some money. I had to spend a lot on my IELTS exam. Now I hardly have any money left with me. "Probably I could pay double the sum when I go to Australia."

Nimali's words struck her like a thunderbolt. Yet she regained her composure and said. "Of course dear, how much do you need? Mothers are there to help out when children are in need. But promises are promises." Mrs. Fonseka said with a mischievous smile.

Now she had a little money left with her. It could exactly be the amount that she had to spend on the saree. When she was diving deep in a reverie the kid returned home. Mrs. Fernando came out with the usual big chocolate she used to buy for her on the day she got money.

"Aththamma, Is today the big day? Where's the Barbie doll you promised to bring? Is it in your room? Yesterday, I ate you gave me because you promised to bring one today." It was only then she remembered that she had promised a thing like that. "Amma, promises are promises" she heard Nimali screaming from the kitchen. Mrs. Fonseka couldn't resist laughing.

"Yes, Indhi we'll buy that tomorrow."

"No, no, today itself I want my barby doll." She started crying.

Mrs. Fernando crept into her room slowly and looked for the only thousand note she possessed after dividing it up. When she found it she looked at it with sympathy. 'The same old story' Mrs. Fernando thought to herself.

Then she went to the wardrobe and took out the old saree she used to wear for several weddings. She touched it with great care. "Old ones are better than new ones" Mrs. Fernando said to herself and sighed.

Indu Gamage, ELTU, University of Ruhuna.