Darling we aren't too old, though we pass the Jubilee Gold

'He knew to convey the message with one glance'

by Lakmal Welabada

"We have never been in-laws to our children's spouses. All of them are our children," proudly declares the Marambe couple. Something rare to hear, but still I (the writer) is fortunate to hear it when I've stepped into a beautiful place of love at Battaramulla where another loving couple live.

By the time we (the photographer, Vipula and I) reached there the Marambe couple was at their neatly kept garden throwing raw rice to little Sparrows who flocked down as a wave of breeze, and then disappeared back on to the Kottamba tree near by after pecking up grains of rice with their tiny beaks.

Marambes while enjoying 'bird watching' kept a piece of papaw on the parapet wall for squirrels who were twittering and moving to and fro when they saw the two old lovers at the compound.

The Marambe couple who has not exchanged a glance or stare in anger either with their daughters-in-law nor their sons-in-law are full of life and compassion. Why should only I enjoy what they have to say? Here is their story.

Rajakaruna Anavalangu Jayawardane Mudiyanselage Hemawathie Kumarihamy Abeywardane alias Kumari was born as the eldest to a younger brother and sister on November 12 in 1930 to Tikiri Bandara Abeywardane and Dissanayaka Mudiyanselage Gnanawathie Menike in Badulla.

Kumari studied up to Senior School Certificate (SSC) at Girls High School (at present Visaka Vidyalaya) in Badulla. "We didn't have higher education in Badulla. My parents didn't like to send me off from the home as well. So I had to be satisfied with what I had acquired," she recalls.

"The fathers of both mine and my husbands hailed from the 'Yuva Raja' (ancient Royal) families of Lanka. My father was from Nannapurawa, Bibile. He owned a lot of lands there. But since some relatives in his family were so greedy over property, my father kept a distance with most of them. He was frightened that they would do some harm to us, his family. He hardly accompanied us there. Even he visited them infrequently," reminisces Kumari.

Kumari has a born talent for sewing, cooking, gardening and flower arrangements. Patchwork, embroidery, cross stitch and any other sewing mode, you name it she does it. "I learnt most of them when I was doing Domestic Science as a subject at school.

Other than that, I do my own creations. I have never attended any especial class as such. I don't copy exact pattern even if I refer to a book of sewing as I change the colours.

I love to do birds as they are very colourful. When you start sewing you have to continue it at a stretch as otherwise once you break the trend, it would be difficult to get back to it," she says. Every inch of her neatly kept garden has been beautified by her.

Kumari was a netball player, a School Guide and a member of the school drama society. She prefected the school by being the House Captain. "During our time Mrs. Allen, an European lady was the principal. After my SSC she requested me to take over some of the classes in the school.

Since I was living close by it was not difficult. I was volunteering, and was not paid. It never mattered to me as I really enjoyed being with the little ones who loved me a lot. I was extremely popular among them," she recalls.

After serving there for about 6 months, Kumari was asked to be one of the first teachers in Badulla Maha Vidyalaya which is to be newly opened shortly. "It was great. Teaching was my forte," she smiles.

Kumari was now a grown up lady full of beauty. During this period, the Buddhist Association of Badulla held a Carnival for Vesak. "There were several stalls, and one of my cousins too had one. I went there to help them," she smiles.

Many young men who were idling during the holidays were in the Carnival grounds. Among all, Kumari noticed a handsome young man peeping into the stall several times. "What do you need?" she asked. "Ah! what do you have?" he said not merely looking at the goods, but also at her beautiful face. "Cannot remember what he bought," she says. "I might have bought something for lies," smiles her hubby, Walter...

Weerasinghe Pathiraja Jayawardane Bandara Wasala Mudiyanse Ralahamillage Marambakanda Walawwe Walter Marambe was born on October 12 in 1921 to Alexander Marambe, landed proprietor at Laxapana and the Basnayaka Nilame of Pasgama Devalaya and Chairman of the Village Committee of Ambagamuwa Korale (Hatton, Bagawanthalawa, Maskeliya, Norton Bridge upto Kitulgala).

"My mother's name was Biso Menika. I'm the fourth of eight children. I studied first at Sinhala School, Kiriwaneliya and then at St. Andrew's College, Nawalapitiya upto SSC," says Walter.

His first job was at Air Ministry Works Department (under British) as in-charge of stores at Sigiriya in 1943. "I was 21 years then, and my daily salary was Rs. 5 which came upto Rs. 150 per mensem," he reminisces.

Later Walter became a Sub-Inspector at the Local Government Service , and then a Store Keeper at the Co-operative Societies. And it was the time he met her. "I had seen many girls, but had not felt the way I did for her. I had never gone after anybody neither," he recalls with blushing cheeks.

However, a mobike which was speeding to and fro on the road and racing especially opposite their house raised eye brows of Kumari's mother. She also noticed that each time when it passed by their place, the rider's eyes were not focused straight, but towards their place. Kumari's mother wondered what was all this about. But soon enough she realised; the pretty grown up daughter of her is now at the marriageable age though she was still a school goer.

Walter too was searching for a moment to talk to Kumari. By this point he had already discovered the background of Kumari's family which he thought would do well on par with his. "Ask Amma and Pappa," was her answer when he found a chance to forward her his idea. Her friends however got to know that a young man was behind Kumari.

Once she took part in a school stage drama. Her friends told her that 'he' was also among the audience. "I wanted to see him, and peeped through the curtain. I was playing a role of a 'Upasaka Amma', and the next was my chance to appear on the stage. But I was on the wrong side of the stage, and should have moved to the other side. But unexpectedly the curtain was drawn back.

I was helpless, but did not loose my cool, and slowly walked to the correct side of the stage and did my part well," she recalls. After the drama she ran to the drama teacher to apologise. "What are you telling child? You were so natural, I didn't even notice that," was the answer of the teacher.

Walter paid a few visits to Kumari's place. Unlike today, the towns were not crowded and whoever that lived in the area were known to each other. Also young men who were holding government jobs were looked upto. Hence Walter and Kumari never had any problem to tie the knot. Horoscopes tallied and they entered into wedded life on March 29 in 1950. Both went to stay at Laxapana with Walter's family.

"Although I was really fond of teaching, my husband didn't like me working. He wanted me to be beside him always. So I resigned from Badulla Maha Vidyalaya and went off with him. During that time the Director of Education was Mr. Kapukotuwa.

He happened to visit Badulla Maha Vidyalaya where I taught, and asked the students what they wanted. All the little ones together had said they wanted me to come back to them. So within two days time I got a registered letter asking to report to school with immediate effect.

Those days if one went off on even maternity leave it was considered as a resignation. So what I got was something miraculous. But still my husband didn't give his consent.

But I was not that unlucky. Both my father and father-in-law were on my side, and let me go back to teaching. I went back to Badulla. But Walter was still angry and didn't visit me for one week. I was very lucky to have in-laws like mine who were very fond of me," she reminisces.

"However my husband has been a very quiet and soft spoken person. He has never used a harsh word or raised his voice to me. In fact he knows how to give the message with one glance. Pick and span, want everything clean and tidy," she smiles.

Walter and Kumari are blessed with eight children. "I was 35 years when I got my last child. I nursed all of them. Don't know how many years they sucked milk, might be until I conceived the next child. None were given milk powder. I am very proud of that.

May be because of that they have been very loving and close to us, the parents, and also well united among themselves," says Kumari. "Also neither of us has treated their spouses as in-laws. All are our children," they repeat.

"I have never punished either our own children nor my students. Nor has my husband hit our children. We shifted to Colombo in 1955. I taught in schools always next to the place we stay as then I would not have problems in looking after my children. I had faithful servants.

But my children were never troublesome. They never broke any glassware or untidied the house. Instead they helped me in keeping the house neat and clean. Also they rarely fell sick. All my eight children were never a trouble to us. Even now they look after us very well. We are so proud of them and our 10 grand children and the great grand daughter," Kumari wipes a tear.

"My students are all over. When I go to the Bank of Ceylon, Battaramulla I meet my past students; some are doctors, engineers and lawyers, some are vendors at the fair, some are sand miners and so on.

One girl kneeled down and worshipped me in front of everybody at the bank. When I told her not to she said, "Aney, Miss, we are here because of you".... So I thought I have done something and my life was not in vain," she sheds a tear.

"We never had a reason to quarrel. She is a good wife," says Walter. "As human beings, we do not live long.

Our life span is short. So my policy is - help someone and live peacefully," points out Walter.

Walter retired in 1979 as the Super Grade Store Keeper at the Colombo Municipal Council. And Kumari retired in 2000, after 40 years of service as a teacher. They had their surprise party organised by their children and grand children for their Jubilee Wedding Anniversary in the year 2000.

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