Killer spirits

Evils of social drinking:

by Samangie Wettimuny

"Can I expect my husband to behave in a 'better' manner than our poor neighbour who lives down the lane just because he sips a better (perhaps a 'super') brand?" queries Sanjeewani, a young mother of two.

"My husband who is so sure of his (un)limit, enjoys his drink openly with his highly sophisticated friends, but our poor neighbour takes Kasippu secretly. Anyway whether it is kasippu or otherwise, the 'outcome' is the same. While my husband starts his 'show' at home, the poor fellow 'displays' on the lane", she fumes.

There are so called norms about alcohol drinking too. It may be shameful to be seen drunk on kasippu, but social drinking is normally treated differently. As Senior Lecturer of Sociology of the University of Colombo, Dr. Subhangi Herath says, attitudes towards alcohol use are gradually changing. Social drinking is now accepted.

If a person does not exceed the limit, or rather if he knows how to 'handle his liquor', it is not considered problematic. But alcoholism is a situation where a person exceeds the limit and becomes entirely dependant on alcohol in a way that is detrimental to the society. "Anyway social drinking can be a stepping stone for alcoholism", Dr. Herath further notes.

Many would say that they wouldn't mind taking a sip for the sake of social drinking. Ironically it is the very act of social drinking that makes some of them entirely dependant on alcohol in later years thus leading them to commit anti-social acts.

"Now the slogan is Dukata sapata, danata pinata kokatath Bothale (They would drink for joy, for sorrow, on religious occasions)" says technical officer, Vajira recounting his recent experience.

When Vajira recently invited a wellknown Thera for a Bana ceremony, the Thera had accepted the invitation only when our friend assured him that liquor won't be served." I felt extremely bad when the Thera said so.

I never consume alcohol, on top of that would we ever think of serving alcohol at a Bana ceremony?" But not everyone is so virtuous as Vajira. At one of the almsgivings the Thera had attended, people had been sipping liquor in the compound while the sermon was in progress inside the house. "I told them if they want us to carry on, they should stop drinking", Vajira recalls the words of the Thera.

Though alcoholism poses a major threat to society, it is always treated differently from drug addiction. A person who consumes marijuana or some other drug is labelled as a deviant. The same young person can get drunk a few times and people will then say that he has not yet learned how to handle his liquor.

Due to the wide acceptance of social drinking, to a great extent alcoholism is concealed from being identified as a massive social problem. Even heavy alcoholics can disguise themselves at least temporarily as social drinkers. (At least till they begin to 'hunt' for their future partners) "We never tend to treat social drinking as an issue until we ourselves become victims of it", an elderly mother blames herself for plunging her daughter's life into misery.

"I only considered his wealth when giving our daughter in marriage. Though I knew that the guy was a heavy social drinker, I took no notice of it as he was neither a gambler nor a drug addict. Only now do we understand the gravity of it."

Thus she reveals the story of her daughter who now hates to attend even a small family party and who is quite opposite of what she used to be. "He would go on sipping till he goes out of control. But till his 'collapse' he would say 'I know my limit'! Her misery cannot be her's alone. Her story may be that of many a wife across the world.

Sometimes people's insensitivity to the importance of certain occasions can cause severe trouble. They need not necessarily be heavy alcoholics to ruin such occasions. "They'll do it for the fun of it" says Malini, a house wife who hates to go on pilgrimages with her husband and brother.

"They never fail to avoid their favourite sip even while attending the Kataragama festival. They would wait in the car till we all leave and pull out their bottles." Though the others do not join the 'drinking club', they never criticise it, "Don't you think that it is an indirect promotion" she asks. What are being belittled here are the true instincts of worship.

As famous sociologist Talcott Parsons says; "We are always what others want us to be". Even though a person is not a drinker, saying 'no' to an offer may be a Herculean task. He thus 'gives in', setting a pattern for the rest of his life. One drink becomes two drinks, which become four drinks". Then they are unable to stop drinking.

"My father got used to this habit because of his 'friends'. They of course knew how to handle their liquor, but my father became an alcoholic", Sanjeewa talks of his father who had to pay for his life due to the wrong way of life.

Anyway as Sanjeewa says none of his so called 'drinking pals ever visited him in hospital and it was his wife and children whom he initially neglected that looked after him. Once labelled as a drunkard, it is society that never lets a person get out of it.

Labelling process may result in an intensification of a deviant role. However much the person tries to stop drinking the society does not give him a chance. Rather than hailing his decision, people would instead ask 'Why don't you drink now?'

Social drinking is often considered something 'very smart', and if your guy is to be a 'macho macho' type, he should at least take one sip, some girls believe. "Aiyo, Eya Maha Pendayek" (Oh! He is a feeble Man), once a friend of mine told me of her guy who does not drink. In fact the girl has now stopped the affair, and is looking forward to 'meeting' a 'real' guy (as she puts it)! I hope her plight won't be as bad as that of Sanjeewani!

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