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DateLine Sunday, 6 April 2008

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Stress in young children:

Are parents responsible?

Child psychologists and paediatricians are seeing children as young as five years suffering from stress-related health problems typically found in harried (harassed) adults. Rise in chronic (constantly present) fatigue, stomachaches and sleep disorders have been reported in children as young as five years. Child psychologists say they are treating more children for anxiety and depression .

The stress of multiple activities, the hectic rhythms of households and the pressure to succeed academically, athletically and socially are literally making these children sick. Physicians and child psychologists say that we are over-programming and over-scheduling our children. Their bodies are crying out and saying; ‘enough’.

One teenager who was seen by a psychologist said that he is a ‘B’ student and that his parents told him that it is not good enough. His parents are obsessed that he should get ‘A’s for all his subjects and that is causing him a lot of stress because he is trying his best to do a thing which he is not capable of .

For many children, the aches and pains are the result of hours spent on racing from sports practice, band practice, to music lessons to the tutor, and not eating a balanced diet. It’s what happens when some parents hyper-manage playtime yet fail to pencil in down time. It’s the price of being a modern child.

In Sri Lanka, one of the major problems seen in young children is backache. There is a direct relationship between this symptom and the weight of the schoolbag (backpack).

Many children are suffering from stress-related illnesses that some hospitals in developed countries have begun offering yoga, meditation and other alternative medical services to help youngsters relax. Psychologists believe that these are better than giving medications like anti-depressants or tranquillisers to these young children.

A child should be taught to say ‘no’ to any stressful events that they can undergo due to parents’ pressure. This has to be promoted when the child is about five years, because by elementary school, it is too late.

Psychologists say that the parents need to look at their own motivations because the stress they put on their children depends on the parents’ level of success and work achievement and how they view ‘busy’. Generally, a parent who wanted to become a doctor or an engineer, but failed, will try hard for their child to become a doctor or an engineer.

They try to fulfil their ambition through their child. This can place immense stress on a child who wants to do something else as his/her life ambition.

The result is an increase in young children suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, chest pains, tension headaches and fatigue. And an increase in parents asking therapists to help their children manage the stress of their young lives.

This situation has prompted some counselling therapists to advise these parents that, just playing games like ‘hide and seek’, or riding a bicycle is better than an organised sport.

Another cause of childhood stress is the “demanding” nature of schools. They create a tremendous amount of pressure in a young child’s mind. Children are told, “You have to do your homework, you have to practise, you have to go to tuition class, you have to go for religious education etc...”

It could be safely stated that ‘children nowadays do not have as much time as they need to, just to be children’.

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