Stress in young children:
Are parents responsible?
Child psychologists and paediatricians are seeing children as young
as five years suffering from stress-related health problems typically
found in harried (harassed) adults. Rise in chronic (constantly present)
fatigue, stomachaches and sleep disorders have been reported in children
as young as five years. Child psychologists say they are treating more
children for anxiety and depression .
The stress of multiple activities, the hectic rhythms of households
and the pressure to succeed academically, athletically and socially are
literally making these children sick. Physicians and child psychologists
say that we are over-programming and over-scheduling our children. Their
bodies are crying out and saying; ‘enough’.
One teenager who was seen by a psychologist said that he is a ‘B’
student and that his parents told him that it is not good enough. His
parents are obsessed that he should get ‘A’s for all his subjects and
that is causing him a lot of stress because he is trying his best to do
a thing which he is not capable of .
For many children, the aches and pains are the result of hours spent
on racing from sports practice, band practice, to music lessons to the
tutor, and not eating a balanced diet. It’s what happens when some
parents hyper-manage playtime yet fail to pencil in down time. It’s the
price of being a modern child.
In Sri Lanka, one of the major problems seen in young children is
backache. There is a direct relationship between this symptom and the
weight of the schoolbag (backpack).
Many children are suffering from stress-related illnesses that some
hospitals in developed countries have begun offering yoga, meditation
and other alternative medical services to help youngsters relax.
Psychologists believe that these are better than giving medications like
anti-depressants or tranquillisers to these young children.
A child should be taught to say ‘no’ to any stressful events that
they can undergo due to parents’ pressure. This has to be promoted when
the child is about five years, because by elementary school, it is too
late.
Psychologists say that the parents need to look at their own
motivations because the stress they put on their children depends on the
parents’ level of success and work achievement and how they view ‘busy’.
Generally, a parent who wanted to become a doctor or an engineer, but
failed, will try hard for their child to become a doctor or an engineer.
They try to fulfil their ambition through their child. This can place
immense stress on a child who wants to do something else as his/her life
ambition.
The result is an increase in young children suffering from irritable
bowel syndrome, chest pains, tension headaches and fatigue. And an
increase in parents asking therapists to help their children manage the
stress of their young lives.
This situation has prompted some counselling therapists to advise
these parents that, just playing games like ‘hide and seek’, or riding a
bicycle is better than an organised sport.
Another cause of childhood stress is the “demanding” nature of
schools. They create a tremendous amount of pressure in a young child’s
mind. Children are told, “You have to do your homework, you have to
practise, you have to go to tuition class, you have to go for religious
education etc...”
It could be safely stated that ‘children nowadays do not have as much
time as they need to, just to be children’.
Dr. R.A.R. Perera,
Consultant Psychologist,
Ontario, Canada. |