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DateLine Sunday, 6 April 2008

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Your life- not an open book

Should your life be an open book that anyone who passes by can read? Should the public read each and every chapter of your life without missing a single letter? It is not at all necessary. A few chapters may be open to public but not everything. There should be chapters in your life that only you are aware of. They are mysterious. No one knows.

As one of the philosophers pointed out, a person has two sides. One side is open to the public and the other side is hidden within him. He also said that the hidden side of the person could be more powerful. If you make your hidden life public, then your soul will be dead.

Famous people rarely have private lives. Their lives are exposed to the public through the media and so on. Some celebrities do not have privacy at all. Their lives are being exposed to such extremes that they find their privacy only in bathrooms.

When you have some sort of privacy, you are aware of yourself, your inner self. But when your life is exposed, everyone will come to know about everything, including what you donít want others to know about you.

You will only know what others know about you. Your life will become an open book that anyone could read and perhaps write what they want. Then there will be no value in your life for yourself.

Princess Diana never had her own private life. Paparazzi even tried to enter her bedroom. Wherever she went, whatever she did the whole world came to know it in a blinking of an eye.

The words she uttered, arguments she had with her husband, her romantic life and everything was like a film that everyone could watch. She couldnít do anything privately other than may be what she did in the bathroom. The whole world came to know as to whom she had been carrying on a romantic relationship with, when, where and how.

Privacy is important at times ó when you need to be in a peaceful atmosphere. Imagine when you need to write poetry, an essay or say if you need to write a love letter or to solve a difficult sum, puzzle, or when you need to think of a critical problem. You would probably be in need of privacy. You might abhor an atmosphere with crowds gathered round you.

The moments you spend in privacy are more powerful than other times. Then your mind is not perturbed, thoughts are not scattered. You can concentrate better on whatever thing.

Privacy in a relationship

Two people when they love each other think that their lives are one. One party would impose on the other that he or she cannot do anything without the other partyís knowledge.

Say for example, the girlfriend needs to know every single thing about her boy friendís life. That means she tries to destroy her loved oneís privacy. If the boy friend doesnít like to tell or tries to keep certain things unknown to her, problems will arise.

Then the girlfriend starts blaming and doubting him saying he is not frank. That is not a matter of honesty. Thatís the privacy of the person. He may be very loving, caring and faithful, but still he loves his privacy too. No one likes to reveal 100 percent of his life to another one - even to the spouse.

As I mentioned earlier, you need not lead a public life. More than one person is a public union. Even your most intimate person is not yourself. He or she is public.

I have seen many people fight with their spouses saying that he or she keeps certain things to him or her. I know a woman who always fights with her executive husband. She once told me that she doesnít know half of what he does. In her words ďHe rarely tells me where he goes, what he does, and who he gets on with. He locks his mobile so that I canít read his text massages.

I have the right to do it because I am his wife. I should know everything about my husband. Thatís my rightĒ. In his words ďI really do not have privacy, my wife always pokes into my work. There are things that I canít tell her even though she is my wife. I mean I donít have illegal things to hide from her but still itís my privacy. I donít like anyone interfering with itĒ

There is another person who spends time mostly in his office room at home. He does almost everything in his office room. He reads, writes and does many things there. He doesnít like anyone coming into his office room and trouble him, even his wife or children. His privacy is guarded in his office room.

Privacy and loneliness

Privacy is essential for a person. Thatís not loneliness. When a person feels lonely he yearns for company. But when he needs privacy he abhors any oneís company. At that time he refuses even his most belovedís acquaintance.

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