‘There’s a woman behind every successful man...’

Anoma talks of life with IGP Jayantha Wickremaratne.:

“I was obsessed with Gamini Fonseka’s role as a Police Inspector in the film `Velikathara’, and that was what made me encourage him to join the Police,” reveals Anoma Goonetilleke Wickremaratne, wife of Inspector General of Police Jayantha Wickremaratne.

A smiling Anoma recalled the past, exulting in her inspiring decision taken three decades back.

`There’s a woman behind every successful man, and a woman can either ruin or enhance his life.’ says Anoma who has set an example by being his shadow, motivating him to excel his life to acquire utmost success. Anoma despite being the encouraging force behind the new IGP, is the Ex-Secretary of the Bar Association, and presently a Member of its Executive Committee.

“I still feed him,” she exclaims. “You won’t believe me, will you?” she laughs, disclosing quite a rare occasion one can ever expect from a busy working wife who falls into the category of intelligentsia. Fussing, pompous, bombastic inferiority or jealousy; these are unheard words with Anoma, instead its Love, compassion and care.

“I’m a career woman, a lawyer only at the Courts. At home I’m his wife and the mother of our two children. What has happened today is that many working women mix the priorities of their lives, and its like catching the snake in a wrong way. One has to climb the ladder in one’s career, but should not disdain one’s family.

Some women earn more than their husbands, and display the power of their money. One should not get swollen headed with one’s perks. It would be too late when you realise that you are hurting and loosing the best companion of yours. You can be the most educated, and drawing millions, but should have a lot of common sense and tolerance to sail the ship smoothly,” explains Anoma.

Habaragamuwa Ralalage Anoma Dilani Peiris Goonetilleke was born on February 26 in 1953 at Kumbuka, off Piliyandala. “My father, H. R. Walter Leonard Peiris Goonetilleke who was popularly known as Wolly Peiris was an Engineer attached to the Ceylon Insurance Corporation during the time of Justin Kotalawala, the founder Chairman.

My mother is Hema. Co-incidentally, my mother’s gay name as well as the surname, both were the same as father’s. They might have got together at some point, but they weren’t known to each other. She was the Registrar of Birth, Deaths and Marriages in Raigam Korale for 47 years,” recalls Anoma.

“I’m the eldest of the family. My brother, Mitra Ranjan is a Gemologist and my sister, Manojini is a designer,” she continues.

Anoma and her sister first went to Kumbuka Central College and then entered Hillwood College, Kandy, while her brother was sent to St. Anthony’s College Katugastota. “Our father wanted to give us the best education in the best environment and climate. So, he thought Kandy is the best location for that. Getting adjusted to the hostel life was not that easy because being the eldest child, I was pampered especially by my father. But, later I found it very interesting.

Miss. Indrani Wijetunga, my class teacher in Grade 6, really helped me to get used to that life,” she reminisces. Elocution and drama were her favourite subjects. Among the number of dramas she took part Anoma recalled the role she has played as the thief in the school drama, `Puhul Hora’ which was staged for repeated shows for the schools of the whole Kandy district.

Anoma still holds the unbroken record of the `Senior Elocution Prize’ for three consecutive years 1967, 1968 and 1969. Though she didn’t represent the school, Anoma took part in many sports activities available at school, like Badminton, Table Tennis and Netball.

“I was the Prefect and the House Captain of `Naish’. School days were the superb time in my life. In addition, I was the Secretary of the Buddhist Society and the leader of the debating team as well,” recalls Anoma.

Anoma did O/Ls in 1970, got through with flying colours, and enroled herself in the A/L class to study Science. But, since her father’s dream was to see his daughter become a lawyer, Anoma changed her academic stream from Science to Arts by selecting Civics, Sinhala, History and English as her subjects. “In that era we could apply for the Law College with O/L results. So, though I was in the A/L class, I managed to sit for the entrance exam and entered Law College in 1973,” says Anoma.

Anoma took oaths in 1977, and became the Junior Apprentice under Mr. Sivaraja Gnanapandithan in 1977. She worked with him till 1983, until he migrated to Canada with his family.

Question: `Velikathara’ drew you to provoke him to join the Police. What drew you towards him?

Anomy: Well, Jayantha was a final year under graduate of Public Administration at Sri Jayawardanapura University, when I first met him. He was boarded at the same place where I too was boarded when I entered Law College.

The house owners were relatives of both of us. The uncle of that house was related to Jayantha and I was related to the aunt. On my 20th birthday, which fell on February 26 in 1973, my father brought a birthday cake for me to the boarding place.

I served cake for everybody, and finally tapped his room for him to come out (laughs). He did. Wished me and took a piece of cake. It was the first time our eyes met with each other. We became very friendly and finally started an affair (smiles).

Hapu Arachchige Jayantha Shantha Kumara Wickremaratne was born on November 3 in 1949, to H. A. Wickremaratne, Director - Education Department, in-charge of Pirivena Section, and Dona Caroline Margaret Balasuriya, school Principal at Vigoda, Bemmulla around Gampaha area.

Jayantha was the youngest in his family. His only elder brother, Captain Palitha Wickremaratne who was a Mechanical Engineer at the Sri Lanka Army died of a heart-attack in 1977.

Jayantha had his primary education at Vigoda Maha Vidyalaya and then entered Thurstan College, Colombo. Hockey and Basket Ball were the favourites among young Jayantha at school, who earned a name as a studious as well as well disciplined student.

He was a Prefect and headed many societies at school. After getting through A/Ls in the Arts stream, Jayantha entered Sri Jayawardanapura University and acquired the B.A. degree in Public Administration.

Jayantha’s first experience at work was at Central Bank where he stayed for a brief period of time until her fiancee expressed her obsession for him to join the Police. “I assume ours was a bond that has been coming down through this Sansara. That was why I knew what was `the best’ for him,” laughs Anoma. “Since his brother was also in the Army, all the encouragement came his way perfectly,” she says.

Yes! certainly she does! Her prediction made as a young fiancee of his came true. He joined the Police as an Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP) in August, 1974, and rose upto be the present IGP.

Question : Have you ever faced disapprovals from the parents?

Anoma: Not exactly. According to the first horoscope reader consulted by our parents, there was a “small miss-match” in our horoscopes. Fortunately, the second one okayed it. We got married at the Brighton Hotel, Colombo on November 8 in 1982. I don’t know about his, but in my case I didn’t have much room even to associate with anybody else other than him because, I met him as I entered Law College.

Anoma has been holding many positions in her career. At the Colombo Law Society, she went up to the position of President in 1994. Anoma was the first lady Assistant Secretary (1992-1993), first lady Treasurer (1999-2000) and the first lady Secretary (2004-2005) of the Sri Lanka Bar Association. At present she is a member of the Executive Committee of the Bar Association.

Question: Both of you are in the Law field. How do you compromise things with each other?

Anoma: As we married we came to an understanding that I being the lawyer, was not to handle any criminal case in courts as it would directly or indirectly affect him. I have been handling Civil cases only.

Question: How did you manage your home and career?

Anoma: It was really difficult for me to cope up. I was building up the practice and along with house chores and children, I found it terrible. But! (pauses), I’ve never grumbled as I’ve married a person of my choice and my career was something I was doing with pleasure.

So, I was never tired of anything. Instead I treated everything as my duty by everyone, including my husband, children and other family members. Apart from the busy schedules, we faced awful and hazardous situations in life due to the life threats he got from various criminals.

He never took notice of them, but I used to get shaken up a bit. But, nothing has gone wrong in life. I’m a practicing Buddhist, so is Jayantha. I believe that the Triple Gem showers a great blessing on us.

Question: Jayantha as a husband?

Anoma: I’m a character with a bit of a hot temper. He is the opposite; calm, quiet... Of course, he gets angry, but very rarely, and then I keep quiet until he cools down. But, we never retort in a bad manner. So, it has really helped us to go on. Life is very easy with him.

He is a teetotaller now. I never bother him but attend to every little need of his. You see, your husband can be the ruler of a “continent”, but before his wife he becomes a child.

He looks for mother’s love from his wife. And if you fail to give it then you are pushing your marriage into trouble. You may be having hundreds of domestics, but it’s not like you attending to him, and his children. It’s a must. I’m very close to his family members too.

Question: Your children?

Anoma: Our daughter, Danushka studied at Bishop’s College. She first wanted to be a lawyer, but later chucked up the idea even after doing Law at the Royal Institute for 2 years after seeing my hectic life as a lawyer.

She is following a Fashion Designing Course at present. Anosha, our son studied at S. Thomas’ College, Mount-Lavinia. He will be passing out as an Automobile Engineer from Notingham University, UK shortly.

Question: Contended life?

Anoma: Yes, If you lead a honest and virtuous life, it is not that difficult to achieve a contended life.