Boy: Doctor, my sister here keeps thinking

she's invisible.

Doctor: Which sister?

Sita: Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?

Geeta: My right hand.

Sita: Amazing! Most people have to use the on/off switch.

A customer calls the computer helpline and says: "Every time I log onto the seven dwarfs website, my computer screen goes snow white".

Customer: I cleaned my computer and now it doesn't work any more.

Repairman: What did you clean it with?

Customer: Soap and water.

Repairman: Don't you know you're not supposed to touch a computer with water?

Customer: Oh, it wasn't the water that caused the problem...it was the spin dryer!

Customer: I bought this computer from you yesterday and I found a twig in the disk drive!

Salesman: I'm sorry, Sir, you'll have to speak to the branch manager.

Dave: I've been on my computer all night!

Steve: Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?

Peter: I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website.

Tim: That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen.

Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?

Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.

A schoolteacher started his first job at a primary school and was eager to make a good impression on the students. So, when he noticed a boy standing all by himself in the playground, while the others were playing soccer, he walked up to him and asked, "Are you alright?"

The boy assured him everything was fine and the teacher left it at that. A few minutes later, however, he noticed that the boy was still standing alone and had not joined the others.

Deciding to find out what was wrong this time, the teacher approached him again and said, "Hi, are you sure you're not feeling left out? Would you like me to be your friend?"

The boy obviously felt a little embarrassed, but after a little hesitation said, "Maybe". Encouraged by his progress, the teacher asked, "Tell me, why are you standing here alone?"

"Because", the boy said with clear exasperation in his voice, "I am the goalie".

Mala: Does the school computer have

a brother?

Leela: No, but it's got lots of tran-sisters.

Tom: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?

Phil: Hide their trainers.

Tim: If you don't stop tapping away at that keyboard, I think I'll go crazy.

Tom: I think you already have, I stopped using the keyboard an hour ago.

Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.

Teacher: You get a choice here too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all.

Customer: This computer you charged me Rs. 50,000 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free.

Salesman: It is, I charged you Rs. 50,000 for the computer, but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!