Voet, my foot!

by Ravi PERERA

Johannes Voet (1647-1713) the famous lawyer from the Netherlands, among other things, is credited with adopting many of the primary Roman legal principles and concepts to suit his times. The illustrious jurist's well-earned fame long outlived the man, not only in Holland but also in countries with legal systems that have been enriched by his work. Going by the annual Bacchanalian homage our legal fraternity pays the great jurist, Sri Lanka is also not without its share of acute connoisseurs of fine legal thinking.

The event oddly is called Voet lights. A more self-conscious profession would have gone for something like Voet devotees or even Voet wanna-be's.

But here in the land of nothing but the best, they will have none if not 'lights', in other words, points of illumination. Predictably, the function starts with cocktails during which there is perfect harmony at the bar. Dimly lit, the function area is ideal for consultations in which the parties wish to remain anonymous. Since everybody is in dark suits, the solemn uniform of the lawyers, it will be virtually impossible to conduct an identification parade post facto to charge those present. The target for the day, obviously, is to drink the bar dry. On this matter one need not teach this gentry in black coat to suck eggs. Some gulp down their Red Label whisky mixed with soda while others seem to think it criminal to dilute such good stuff.

Voet, would be verily excited by the bevy of female admirers he has acquired in this little island in the Indian Ocean. Draped in shimmering saris these gentle devotees of the great Hollander with an air of susceptibility glide through the throng, evoking the most protective instincts in the stout hearts of their male counterparts. The men keep a concerned eye on the present day Portias but are not overly distracted from the mission of consuming all the good stuff so freely flowing.

As the evening progresses the intellectual quality of the conversation assumes truly Voetian proportions. Hardly anybody notices the valiant efforts of the chamber orchestra. Opinions, usually an expensive commodity in this milieu, flow thick and furious. Judging from the raucous laughter emanating from the many circles of lawyers on the floor there are some outstanding wits present. The celebrations proceed smoothly, with drinks, eats and reputations demolished with abandon.

When the drinks become increasingly hard to find and all the 'bites' consumed, the gong announces dinner, which almost creates a stampede. This is no dignified ceremonial sitting. These legal eagles are acquainted with life in this island too well to chance an orderly entry to the dinning hall. In the hurly-burly of Hulttsdorp the early bird catches the worm. Why should it be different tonight?

The legal eagles, now merry, move noisily towards the banquet hall obviously anticipating the impending meal with relish. Menu cards placed stylishly on the tables promise a repast worthy of august epicureans.

Cutlery, neatly arranged, warns of a structured meal. The first-timers excitedly sit down to what they expect to be a memorable repast made up of tastefully selected food, good wine, entertaining conversation and scintillating speeches. The old hands too jaded to worry about such trivialities, busy themselves analyzing the relative merits of Voet of Holland and Johnny Walker from Scotland.

Having waited impatiently for the meal to begin, the busy practitioners of the law attack the food with an appreciative violence, which would surely warm the heart of the over worked and under appreciated chef. Some activist types who have been complaining about law's delays set an example of not sitting on ceremony by using their soup bowls like a teacup, consuming the warm broth in record time.

The fierce use of the fork, so like a decisive counter punch to the slow-witted police prosecutor in the magistrate's court, gives flight to the well-baked button potatoes and pieces of chicken, which sometimes land in the whisky of their neighbours. The deafening clatter emanating from the tables drowns the feeble efforts of the Scribe to bring order to the unruly proceedings.

Those who with great effort and concentration manage to catch the words of the speakers realize that a lot of ribald, off-color things are being said about the more successful in the profession. This is not a place for brilliant word play or subtle innuendo, the things associated with gatherings of the legal fraternity in other places. But then, we have always prided ourselves on being different.

Yes, we have devotees who annually pay tribute to Voet. Never mind what Voet would have thought of his following in this tropical paradise island!