Two men were going down the office elevator; one of them was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee always made him nervous. His collegue said, "Why don't you stop drinking so much coffee?" To this, the first man replied, "If I didn't have the shakes, I wouldn't be getting any exercise at all".

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it had caught a virus.

Nimal: What happened to the dog that had swallowed a firefly?

Sunil: It barked with de-light.

What did one fish say to the other?

If you keep your mouth closed, you wouldn't get caught.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, can you help me out?

Doctor: Yes, over there, the same way you came in.

What did one maths book say to the other?

"I don't know about you, but I sure have a lot of problems".

A man was requested by his family to take them somewhere expensive for the holidays. He took them to a petrol station.

A man went to the gym and was discussing the new machine there with his friend, "I used it only for one hour before I started feeling sick. It is quite good though; it does everything - chocolates, soft drinks, snacks, crisps..."

Teacher: George, how can you prove that the Earth is round?

George: I can't, besides, I never said it was.