Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

-----------------

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on the late arriver.

"And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked.

"I don't know," the student said.

"Perhaps if you came to class on time,

you would know," said the professor.

"That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"

---------------

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.

---------------------

Why did the boy blush when he opened

the fridge?

He saw the salad dressing!

------------------
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?
Johnny: It’s because I saw one on daddy’s lettuce, but now it’s gone.