Jesus sees you
A burglar has just made it into the house he’s
intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of
a sudden, a little voice pipes up, “I can see you, and so can Jesus!”
Startled, the burglar looks around the room.
No one there at all, so he goes back to his business. “I can see you,
and so can Jesus!” The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look
around the room.
Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a
cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, “I can see you, and so
can Jesus!” “So what,” says the burglar, “you’re only a parrot!” To
which the parrot replies, “Maybe, but he is a rottweiler!”
funnyjokescenter.com
The deaf wife.....
 A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going
deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to
test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a
question.
If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep
repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how
hard of hearing she really is.”
The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?” He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves
closer to her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no answer. He repeats
this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, she answers, “For the eleventh time, I said we’re having
MEATLOAF!”
FunOnTheNet
Santa D’costa
Fed up with people making fun of him, Santa Singh decided to change his
religion. He joined a priest in a church as is assistant. One day the
priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the
confessional unattended, he called Santa D’costa (his new assistant) and
asked him to cover for him.
 Santa told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him
to stay with him for a little while and learn what to do. Santa joined
the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few minutes
later a woman came in and said “Father, forgive me for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do?” Woman: “I committed adultery”
Priest: “How many times?” Woman: “Three times”
Priest: “Say Two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no
more.”
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said “Father,
forgive me for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do?” Man: “I committed adultery”
Priest: “How many times?” Man: “Three times”
Priest: “Say two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no
more.”
Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and
the priest could leave. Santa D’costa was now alone. A few minutes later
another woman entered and said “Father, forgive me for I have sinned”
Santa: “What did you do?” Woman: “I committed adultery”
Santa: “How many times?” Woman: “Once”
Santa: “Go do it two more times, we have a special offer this week,
three
times for $ 5.00......
funonthenet.in
|
