Diary of a computer dunce
July 18
I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best
online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.
July 19
Some guy at the tech support centre says my computer needs a modem. I
don't see why. He's just trying to heat me. How dumb does he think I am?
July 20
I bought the modem, I couldn't figure out where it goes though, it
wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.
July 21
I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did
it for me.
 July 22
The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me.
He's so smart.
July 23
What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not
this internet thingy. I'm confused.
July 24
The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America
Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me.
July 25
I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing
happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone.
July 26
I found this thingy called Usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected
to America Online, not Usenet. I went to the doctor today for my regular
checkup. He says that since I connected, my brain has mysteriously
shrunk to half its normal size.
July 27
These people in this Usenet thingy keep using capital letters. How do
they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe
they have a different type of keyboard. July 28
I found this thingy called the Usenet oracle. It says that it can answer
any questions I ask it. I asked it 44 separate questions about the
internet. I hope it responds soon.
July 29
I found a group called rec.humour. I decided to post this joke about why
the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! ha ha! I wasn't
sure if i posted it right so I posted it 56 more times.
July 30
I keep hearing about the World Wide Web. I didn't know spiders grew that
large.
July 31
The oracle responded to my questions today. Geez, it was rude. I was so
angry that I posted an angry message about it to rec.humor.oracle.d. I
wasn't sure if it posted right so I posted it 22 more times.
Continued next week...
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