The safe
 A couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. For the
entire time they had been married, the wife had kept a safe which the
husband had never been allowed to look into. He asked her if, since they
had been married so long, he could see what she had been keeping all
these years. She said OK and opened the safe. In it were a pile of money
totalling $10,000 and three chicken eggs.
He asked her, “What are the eggs doing in there?” She said,”Well, I
have to admit that I haven’t been completely faithful to you. Whenever I
strayed, I put an egg in the safe.” He thought about it and said, “Well,
I guess I can’t be too upset about three eggs. But where did all the
money come from?” She replied, “Every time I got a dozen, I sold them.”
lotsofjokes.com
Laws of Computing
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to
happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer,
it’s probably obsolete.
 The first place to look for information is in the section of the
manual where you least expect to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have
evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely
what you want to do.
Give me a push?
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the
door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in
the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and
rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.
 “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So he drags himself
out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It didn’t
take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
“Hi there,” slurs the stranger. “Can you give me a push??” “No, get
lost. It’s half past three. I was in bed,” says the man and slams the
door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she
says, “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke
down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby
sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again?
What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost??” “But the guy was
drunk,” says the husband.
“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife. “He needs our help and it would
be the right thing to help him.” So the husband gets out of bed again,
gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able
to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a
push??” And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.”
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are
you?” And the stranger replies, “I’m over here, on your swing.” |
