Itipahan (Burly Lamp) Chapter - 20

By Sumithra Rahubadde

(Translated by Ranga Chandrarathne and edited by Indeewara Thilakarathne)

"I am a lamp burning on both ends

Known well that I cannot pass the night

Yet

See my friends

Foes

How powerful light

Burnt

To dispel the darkness"

Both mother and Niyathapala came to accompany Soome home. She thought that even to leave behind the life in the prison was a difficult task and another turning point in her life full of hardships. It is difficult even to leave a difficult place when you once get used to it. What she left behind was a place where she underwent most difficult experiences of her life. Though it is true that the life in the prison had subsequently changed because of collective efforts, it began with the bread dipped in water to satisfy hunger, the cold cement floor to sleep, stinking toilets, impure water for drinking, frowning, scolding and beating up. However, no one could say that it had not been, from the very beginning, a difficult place or an unpleasant boarding place. After the main court proceedings were over, she had now belonged to a group who was scheduled to be released. Soome thought she could not leave this unpleasant boarding place since its stench, unpalatable and untasty food and mental agony which became part and parcel of her life.

She thought of the days on which she cried silently, had been passed by and the fresh thoughts in her were rather mysterious. Niyathapala was impatient by the time Soome started bidding farewell to those she had to.

"Don't forget us," the Matron embraced Daisy. She incessantly kissed Daisy's face.

"I could never forget the life in the prison as well as those who are here," Daisy embraced Matron. When Matron said, "See, you, come again," to Daisy who was stepping out of the prison, a smile emerged on her face.

"I have no hope of ever coming here again," Daisy said with a smile.

Soome who was in skirt and blouse that Niyathapala had bought her. She also had a bag of clothes in her hand. Duleena walked while holding down the yellow towel on her head. As they reached Borella junction, Soome recalled on that fateful day, how they watched a Hindi movie at the Ritz Cinema and the series of incidents that happened thereafter.

Daisy reflected on the inexplicable difference between the physical and mental agony of the miserable life fortified by guards who did not allow her to step into a free world and the privilege of stepping into an independent and unfettered world. Daisy felt the sad manner in which those who lament and reflected on their woes with fallen eyes and with wounded souls and those who were clad in tedious uniforms on two sides of the divide. Soome heard, on the other hand the rough laugh that suppressed the eternal cry of those who suffered and endured a life struggle with all hardships that went with it.

Daisy wanted to measure which one was good. However, the cries of the traders at the Borella market, the noise of the vehicles that plied by and men and women who carried diverse things and even children, stalled Soome's off tracked mind.

"Let's have some tea," Niyathapala who stopped at Hotel Maliban said. Duleena did not say anything.

"We will have plain tea when we reach home," Soome said.

"What's wrong in having tea here? Here the cutlets and patties are also tasty," Niyathapala said.

Niyathapala also accompanied Soome home. He firmly made up his mind that Soome should not be allowed to be stubborn again.

"Men and women along the road looked at me as if they had seen a 'Malakolama'. When I saw them watching me, I thought it was better to be inside that cage. Men and women with absolutely no manners," Soome complained as soon as she stepped into the hut.

"That's the nature of villagers. They would have looked at you because you have come home after a long time. You should not take them seriously," said Duleena running into the kitchen to put a pot of water on the hearth. Soome sat on the camp bed, smiling at Niyathapala and took a deep breath.

Niyathapala thought that she had been experiencing a kind of happiness closing up her eyes.

"What are you thinking of, closing your eyes?" Niyathapala whispered.

"What I have to do, now," Soome answered quickly.

"Now, in a couple of days, you will marry, forgetting all that have passed by and prepare for a new life," said Niyathapala sitting on the camp bed.

"Your family will not allow you to marry me", Soome said.

"I am the one who will marry Soome," said Niyathapala patting on Soome's head. Soome shifted a little on.

"I have no one to be called a father. There is nothing to be given as a dowry. I was imprisoned and both mother and I are women who had no directions in life," said Soome taking her feet onto the bed. She thought that was easier for her. The big gecko on the wattle and daub wall looked at her.

"If Soome likes me that's all needed. I have a job and I can feed a woman.

"Soome, other people's will is of no use to me," said Niyathapala removing his shoes.

"Niyathapala, I am a seduced woman."

"What does it mean?"

"When I was arrested and taken to the police, a police officer, in fact he was not a police officer but a dog, seduced me. Thereafter, from time to time, those who were in the police and others, during a month, munched me up. It happened not only to me but also to all other girls who were arrested. They were beasts. Niyathapala would have to suffer after marrying me. Therefore, forget about that," Soome explained everything in detail. Niyathapala listened silently. Niyathapala thought that his love for Soome could not be forgotten, because of someone else's scandalous action.

"You were seduced not because of your fault. Would these things not happen to everyone? I also know about these things since I am in the army. Soome forget about it. We will marry and lead a good life," Niyathapala said.

Duleena served Niyathapala and the girl with two cups of tea with jaggery.

While sipping tea, Soome thought of Vajira. She was determined to forget everything and to lead a good life. Marriage should not be conceived just for the sake of an invitation. She should think much about it. Suddenly, Soome thought of Sirinatha. Soome thought that although Niyathapala was so close to her, she could not get closer to him.

"We will finalise everything soon," said Niyathapala taking his leave of them.

Soome looked aimlessly not responding to him. She thought that she should now take a rest rather than being confined to a marriage. There were a lot to think about. A space should be provided to give vent to what she had in mind as she liked. After Niyathapala had left, Soome stepped out of the hut. The hut in which she and her mother lived as far as she could remember and the trees around the plot of rubber was there as it had been. The rubber seeds that cracked making a noise reminded Soome of her childhood.

It was this childhood which united her with Sriyadari Akka. That childhood could not be separated from the plot of rubber, casting dark shadows and the village. She understood though she did not know the whereabouts of Sriyadari Akka and Sirinatha, they stayed permanently in a corner of her heart.

Sirinatha's self appeared before her like a face of a man who was trapped in a dilapidated building against a stern surrounding. Soome decided not to look at the dilapidated building. However, her deceptive mind ran to the debris of that palace.

"Let's go to well to have a bath after drinking tea. Bathing from the well is not like bathing from a tap," Duleena said giving Soome a tin-cup of tea.

"I did not like that tea we had from the hotel. There was too much sugar with a lot of milk," Soome said taking a cup of tea. Duleena began to sweep the court yard with an 'Ilapatha'. Soome experienced a certain zest, for a long time, by looking at the pattern mother made in sweeping and the bustle it created. When looking up the tree-tops on hearing the cry of the monkeys, Soome considered them as relatives, who identified her and came to see her.

She thought of laughing with them loudly. But she understood that she could not let a laugh come out of her throat.

"Niyathapala is thinking of settling everything soon. We also have no one to look for these things," Duleena said as she put down 'Ilapatha' after making a pattern on the courtyard. Soome wanted to ask something after combing her hair with her finger tips.

"Do you have head-lice?" Duleena asked.

"Mother, you are asking whether the prison is infested with lice. When we were taken there, lice sucked blood from all over the body. They were even on the eyelids. There was a rash all over the body. It created an unbearable urge to scratch on while lice bit on the head. It was such a terrible retribution we suffered from?" Soome murmured. Duleena thought that Soome who had never mouthed out anything, had been changed, today.

"Nanawathi Hamine always asked about you. She did not look the other way like many others. She is like as before. But she always has a bad mouth," said Duleena taking up a bucket, chintz, toilet soap which she had bought weeks ago and the towel which looked like a rag.

"Let's go to bath," Soome walked after Duleena. The unintentional recollection of Sirinatha and echoing the conversation had with Sirinatha could not be avoided. If she had romantic feelings towards Sirinatha, now it was only a memorabilia that recollected a fresh fragrance by a faded aroma. Soome remembered as a schoolgirl, putting fresh flowers among the leaves of the books and when dried up subsequently they left a faded fragrance instead of a fresh one. She thought that fragrance would give a sublime and romantic feeling. The residual withered fragrance was more enthralling; though that enchanting past was full of unfulfilled hopes, but leaving behind a sweet memory, a kind of a sublime sweetness. Soome understood though she had not filled her heart with hopes enough to fly over, that sweetness lived with her. She made up her mind if there was a yardstick measuring pleasant and unpleasant aspects of life, it was the criteria of her soul.

Soome who was clad in her mother's chintz sat on the skirt of the well. She saw, by then, mother was waiting having filled up water into the bucket. She understood though she could herself draw water, mother was waiting to bathe her until she got rid of her physical and mental fatigue. On the other hand, she thought a bath was better than putting the head under a water fall that would cooled up her entire body. She thought the peculiar cold water from the well, as a refreshing experience she had after a long time.

When the water was poured over the head and her body, she took a handful of it to wipe her face and head. Kandegedara Lamathani was passing the well with Violet Nona.

"On the way, I heard that Duleena's daughter had come home. Try to bathe her and take her into the house," Kandegedara Lamathani said sarcastically. Soome got up not allowing Duleena to pour the next bucket of water over her. Soome looked at Lamathani with her hands on her hips.

"Only the sons could be taken into the house after bathing. Males would lie under every bush. But they are taken into the house after washing their feet. Which man in this village could disapprove it?" Soome said squeezing her wet hair. Lamathani spat a mouthful of saliva and said, "Nodakin." Soome thought of laughing loudly.

"Why did you say that?" Duleena asked Soome looking at the disappearing figure of Lamathani.

"Mother, how could I respond other than with those words? See the slander they make, I just stepped into the village. I tolerated these until now.

Hereafter, I will not tolerate them for any reason," said Soome taking the bucket and continued her bathing. She understood that she and her mother were isolated in a strange world which she could not imagine before. Those who took up stone and pellets were, madly, waiting to attack them. She should receive blows. They had a strong will so as even to attack her with pellets and bury her alive. She could hardly imagine how men could fall into that state. But Soome understood that men who fell into that state with inherent cruelty could not be salvaged from it. Mother lived with such a tender heart. As she understood, her mother was tender-hearted.

"Mother, I want to sleep well," Soome, who came into the hut after bathing, told Duleena. She thought that she wanted to have a sound sleep lying down on the familiar camp bed, forgetting her all woes.

"I will boil something over and wake you," Duleena said. She knew what the girl now wanted was to rest awhile. The little girl's tender heart had to endure a lot of hardships during a spell of time. The girl, who was brought up with a lot of hopes, had to serve a prison term. All of them said that she was imprisoned because of her own fault. Duleena thought that whether it was correct or wrong, she should, hereafter, be allowed to lead a peaceful life.

Duleena prepared a dry fish-bone curry, a favourite dish of the girl and 'Velikosata', 'malluma' and 'lunu miris' with lemon added. She thought somehow she should prepare 'papaddam'. Duleena, who drew close the curtain of reed, ran to the village boutique and brought a quarter of papaddam packet and coconut oil on credit.

"Is it true, that daughter has come home?" a boy in the boutique asked.

Duleena did not say "yes" or "no".

"Others go to council asking votes. These women try to go to the council by shooting, murdering and engage in prostitution."

The boy, who asked the question, said when Duleena stepped out of the boutique with papaddam and coconut oil. Duleena thought that the boy was a spoiled brat. She did not know whether the girl wanted to go to the council. But she could not be sure if she had committed any wrong doing.

Duleena thought as she had quite used to listening to the scorn of insults during the last two and half years, now she could tolerate anything.

What an insult, hadn't she pocketed out? Villagers said everything what they had to say? Who would not spit on to her face whenever she met them on the road, at the paddy field and the plot of rubber? Villagers did not allow her to heal her pestering wound in her heart. It was because of their scornful of insults that she became very firm. She could tolerate anything now since she had confronted those insults which were more painful than being beaten up or being killed.

Soome, who slept for three and a half hours, got up and washed her face from the bucket of boiled water which Duleena prepared for her. For a while, Soome looked at the mother curiously thinking whether she had suffered due to various things that happened in the past. Duleena offered a plate of rice and curry to Soome who sat on the small stool in the kitchen.

"Mother, have you fried papaddam? Mother, it is like a feast," Soome said when she smelled the aroma of the dried-fish curry. The manner it was served on a plate made Soome's mouth water.

"This is not the way I should make a feast when you come home. I prepared the dried-fish curry because you like it," said Duleena looking at the bunch of banana in the corner of the kitchen.

"I did not think it was ripe. But now, it is ripe," Duleena said with a smile.

"It is ok for you to sell it," Soome said.

"No, I cannot sell it. I let it ripe for you to eat it as you wish," said Duleena putting the bunch of banana against the wall near Soome. The sweet smell of banana pervaded throughout the hut.

Footnotes

Malakolama - A clown like performance

Ilapatha - Ekle broom made using a cluster of coconut stems tied together.

Nodakin - A derogatory term in Sinhala used often to look down on a person with utter disgust. A literal translation is "may I not see you! [again]

Velikosata malluma - A cooked dish of dried jak seed with scraped coconut.

Lunu Miris - A chili paste with lemon.

Papaddam - A thin, crisp bread or wafer, made of lentil flour and sometimes flavoured (mixed) with pepper and other spices.