Splendour of romantic love

Nature has divided human beings into two sexes - males and females - with a purpose. In the right atmosphere they are attracted to each other romantically. Long before the institution of marriage came into being, they were sexually united and produced children to propagate the human race.

Unlike animals that indulge in sex for the pleasure of it, human beings usually fall in love before marriage and then enjoy conjugal bliss. Literature, paintings, music and poetry sprang out of this element of romantic love which remains a mystery in every age.

Unlike romantic love, desire is temporary. Animals desire to have sex but they do not develop love affairs. Once their desire is satisfied, animals do not care for their partners. Although human beings also can stoop to this level, when a man and a woman fall in love, they usually stick to each other through thick and thin.

Adolescence is the ideal period for romantic love. Young girls look for their heroes in films, novels, and in the real world. Young males too look for their dream girls. Some of them will want to see a Helen in every woman they meet. Others may look for partners with different qualities. When they meet the most agreeable person, they fall in love and experience a strange and novel sensation they had never enjoyed before. A young girl will find herself enveloped in a luminous haze when she meets her prince charming. Similarly, even a youth will find himself elevated to a state of ecstasy when he meets his dream girl.

Sometimes, love at first sight occurs as in the case of Romeo and Juliet. According to an old Greek myth, there were no separate men and women in the world. There was only one type of human species. However, on an appeal made by them, a Greek god had separated them into men and women. After that the separated halves had been continuously looking for their other halves! According to this myth, romantic love begins when you meet your other half.

As a rule, you cannot force anyone to fall in love with you. It simply happens. Sometimes, it happens unilaterally. For instance, a man may fall in love with a woman, but she may not reciprocate. Literature is full of such unrequited love and most of us have experienced such situations. "I love him so much, but why doesn't he respond?" is a constant complaint made by women. Similarly, a man may face the same situation when his love is not returned by the woman.

Why do we love members of the opposite sex? When you are in love, you simply cannot answer such questions. We cannot give reasons for our love towards a member of the opposite sex. The birth of love, as Andre Maurois says, is the work of nature. Real incidents and fiction give us many instances where a man and a woman simply fall in love without any obvious reason. For instance, Wronsky, getting off the train, says to himself, "Madam Karenina is very beautiful." That was the beginning of a fascinating love affair beautifully described in Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" . In real life situations, you look at a particular person and that might trigger a long-lasting love affair.

Romantic love is exciting, beautiful and mysterious. Women in love always come late to meet their lovers. This appears to be something universal. It is said that a woman's strength lies in being late or absent. Firstly, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Secondly, when she appears late, a process called "crystallisation" takes place making the absent person, usually the woman, encrusted with crystals! This may be the reason why we do not see faults in our loved ones.

Romantic love brings us nothing but extreme happiness. Unfortunately, this is the time we begin to entertain suspicion. Man begins to question the woman's fidelity. Woman begins to question the man's commitment.

However, this phase will soon pass with a little bit of mutual understanding. Sometimes, we find it extremely difficult to understand our partners. But this is quite normal in romantic love.

Keeping the flame of romantic love burning is a major problem for many lovers. When unattended, romantic love begins to wither away. We can rekindle the dying embers of romantic love by offering genuine praise.

Both men and women love to be praised. If you praise the beauty of a woman who knows that she is good looking, it will not make an impact.

If you can praise her intelligence, she will really appreciate it.

Similarly, a woman can praise a novelist for writing an impressive novel. But he will not be impressed. If she praises him for his conduct at a party, he will pay some attention.

Romantic love's mortality rate is very high. Therefore, constant care is necessary to keep it going. You may have seen lovers holding hands and whispering sweet nothings for hours on end. However, when they settle down to a humdrum marriage, they run short of topics to talk about. This is the time you begin to resent the very presence of your partner. This sad situation can be avoided with a little more care.

Although young lovers may not need advice on romantic love, married couples will have to develop an aptitude for love. If you genuinely love your partner, keep in touch with him or her wherever you happen to be. A casual conversation or a little praise will freshen up a diminishing relationship.

In love and friendship we have to respect the temperament of the other person. If your partner is a hot-tempered woman, try not to change her. It will only aggravate the situation. We cannot change people overnight. Such a process will take a long time. A lot of unpleasant situations can be avoided through patience, silence and affection.

With all the knowledge available to us, our understanding of romantic love remains limited in scope. Many social psychologists believe that love is too difficult to observe and study in a scientific way.

However, romantic love remains the most fascinating feeling we can enjoy.