Dear Erica
Dear Erica,
 I’m a 23 year-old girl having the perfect job and a loving boyfriend
who’s been with me for the past 4 years. Recently, he got a good career
break to go to Australia which would mean that we would relocate there
after marriage. I’m happy in my present job because it gives me security
as well as being close to my own family.
However, I love him and would give anything to be with him but I’ve
been worried about getting a job as good as the one I do now when I go
there. In fact, sometimes I feel I won’t be doing as well as he is
because of the lack of opportunities and of course, starting from
scratch.
Plus, I’m very worried when I hear stories of my friends who pass out
with international degrees but don’t do ‘real’ jobs and end up working
in odd jobs to make ends meet. I don’t want this to happen to me. I want
to be independent and be an able person too without having to ask my
boyfriend for support. Due to my parents’ good status, I don’t want to
do an odd job either. I feel I’m not confident to face challenges
because I fear failure. Please advise.
- Unsure
Dear Unsure,
Life is full of choices. Some choices are harder than others and
involve a lot of sacrifice, compromise or adjustment. In addition to the
choices, sometimes life pushes you to take risks which can’t be avoided.
This involves both positive and negative consequences. No matter what
opinions, emotions or advice you receive from those around you, at the
end of the day you’re left to decide what you want to do. However, what
stops us from making choices or risks is the fear of failure! But
remember that most of those people who succeeded had to go through
failures in order to learn from mistakes, try again and find success.
It’s true that you’re perfectly happy with a good job, family,
friends and a loving boyfriend. It’s kind of a perfect life that you
have right now with everything in place. However, your partner is the
person that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and you
should be supportive towards his interests as well. First of all,
prepare your mind for a change.
Nothing is going to turn out well when you start a new life in a
total different environment. This includes your job as well. At first,
you may be compelled in doing a job less than your expectations. Take
this opportunity as a positive learning experience. Gradually, you may
find yourself improving and developing as you get to know about the
country as well as options that might interest you.
Talk to your boyfriend about your genuine concerns. Sharing things
would make it lot easier for you to cope with change, adaptation and
making decisions. A relationship is about being supportive towards each
other in times of need and that includes being dependable on each other
at times as well.
Remember life is not a bed of roses. At the end of the day, your hard
work and commitment has its rewards. You have two choices at your hands
right now. Either you decide on staying back and are at your comfort
zone or else take a risk and go through the hard way. Be positive and
plan ahead. Good luck - the land of kangaroos awaits you! Who knows you
might even have pleasant surprises awaiting you?!
Dear Erica,
 I’m middle class and I’m having a relationship with an upper-class
boy for 6 months. He wants to take me to lunch and dinner at the top
hotels like Taj, Hilton, Galle face, etc. My problem is, I haven’t been
to these hotels ever and I don’t know how to dress! How shall I dress?
Do I have to wear a gown? Or jeans ok? Do they have dress codes? I have
been refusing to go giving excuses so can you please help me? Plus I
need to know if saree/shalwars are for formal wear?
-Dressy
Dear Dressy,
I can imagine that you’re highly excited and at the same time going
through a little dilemma, especially when it comes to dressing up and
going out with your man. It’s always the first question that comes to
the mind when a woman is supposed to go out with her man. What should I
wear? First of all, don’t panic. Take things easy. When it comes to
dressing up, you’re your best judge.
You know what suits you and brings out the best in you. Comfortable
pants with a nice top with comfortable yet lovely shoes, a touch of a
good makeup (not over done, you don’t want to scare your man away) or a
nice little black dress (not gowns) for dinner would be perfect. Don’t
overdo on your clothes, accessories or makeup. As for lunch,you might
want to step in to your favourite jeans with a casual yet smart top.
Remember to always check out the dress code or the occasion before you
go in case they have special requirements. And yes, as for your question
on formal wear you can go for a nice saree or a shalwar.
Erica’s Poll:
Would you go back to the past in order to change some things that you
didn’t want to happen?
Yes, I need to start all over again
Yes, maybe I need to change a few things
No, I’m happy with my past
No, I have moved on from my past errors
Erica’s Quote of the Week:
‘The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the
source from which self-respect springs’.
-Joan Didion
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