Dear Erica
Dear Erica,
 Im a 16 year-old girl in a family of six children. Ever since my
elder brother went abroad to study, my parents have been having
problems. I find no peace at home and I feel that our parents dont like
us. My father also has changed as he seems to be so good with other
ladies and other people while ignoring us.
I really get angry when my father talks very happily with other
ladies and when other males talk without any reason with my mother. What
I want is a peaceful home but now I find that my home is only a torture
and I don’t feel happy at home. The more I think about this, the more I
get angry with my brother. How can I get rid of all these bad feelings
and feel peaceful? Please help me.
- Hatred
Dear Hatred,
If you want peace at home, I believe you should first find peace
within yourself. To start with, you should stop hating your brother for
unknown reasons. Hating your brother is not going to solve any of the
problems.
What if your elder brother was not to be blamed for any of these
problems? Even if your elder brother is the cause of your parents to
behave in such a way, this does not necessarily mean that they should
have a grudge on him since he’s now far away and things could be settled
in a much amicable manner.
On the other hand, everything depends on the depth of what had
happened between your parents and him. If you feel that there are
problems adding up at the home front I think you should talk to an
elderly person in your family or at least one of your parents who is
close with you about issues that are bothering you. Whatever you do,
don’t try to make things worse than they are at present.
Since you come from a big family, you and your siblings should grow
up in a peaceful environment without any grudges, arguments or issues
that could ruin the family.
I also feel that you should find some activities to occupy yourself
so that you won’t have the time to be too worried about certain things
that your parents should sort out between themselves.
Children often get affected by what goes around in their homes and I
hope that your parents too will understand this. Hope things will get
better for you and your siblings!
Dear Erica,
I’m a single father who is an alcoholic and I am dealing with my
problem. However, there is a worse problem I have and its that my 13
year-old son too has started drinking too. It all started on a day I was
too drunk and I fell asleep and my son took a sip and got used to taking
alcohol. He has also started taking drugs by buying them from some boys
in his school. How can I help my son recover from this mess? Please
help!
- Desperate Father
Dear Desperate father,
Though you think that your drinking habit is not a problem, you have
to accept the fact that your behaviour was the root cause that your son
took up to drinking which later has developed into much worse things.
Teenage boys are curious and adventurous and would like to try a hand at
something new.
 Since you have been his only role model back home and you have easily
made access for your teenage son to get into alcohol. This is a critical
stage of his life where he has to deal with loads of adolescent issues.
I can understand that being a single parent is not the easiest thing in
the world.
And especially being a single father could be much harder to cope
with. It’s also true that you need to deal with your own issues and you
must have taken to drinking since you too might be going through
difficult times in your life.
Anyhow when it comes to your son’s life I feel that you have
responsibility towards his well-being. To get him out of his mess you
have to first be on steady grounds yourself and get rid of your habits.
Try to get in some professional help (from a physician, counsellor,
psychologist or an organisation such as Alcoholics Anonymous) in which
you might go through some recovery sessions to overcome your addiction
or at least try to limit your intake.
Since your son is at a beginning stage, you might want to talk to him
about his problem and then block him from consuming or purchasing of
drugs and alcohol. If things get much worse maybe you should spend some
extra time with your son and take him along with you for a recovery
session.
This in return might let him think and also encourage him to
understand the bad effects of substance abuse. I feel that you stand a
big chance of helping your son recover from his little errors before it
ruins his life. It’s high time you bring out the best of your fatherhood
for the sake of your son. I wish you both well!
Erica’s Quote of the Week:
Be faithful in small things because it is in
them that your strength lies
- Mother Teresa
Erica’s Poll:
Erica’s Poll (please email [email protected]):
If you found out that you had one month to
live, what would you do?
- Spend time with family, friends and loved ones
- Enjoy every moment and accept death as we all are going to die anyway
- Ask God to give you a chance to live longer
- Cannot deal with it and end up being in a pool of happy and sad
moments |
