 Polish Remover
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and a nice little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It's made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one.
L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland.
L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I always up before her.
L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: "Polish Remover."
Lovemaking Tips for senior citizens
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the
bed.
2. Set timer for three minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting by turning them ALL OFF.
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you cant remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!
10. But DON’T even think about trying it TWICE without having plenty of
balm, pain killers in the medicine cupboard |
