The excuse

A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today."

The boss asks, "Why?"

The guy says, "It's my eyes."

"What's wrong with your eyes?", the boss asks.

"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead," the guy explains.
 

Billing

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to e-mail the bills, he found a bill from the lawyer in his in box.

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Company policy

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a woman called on the manager and said, "Why is it that you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied.

"It is because these men are used to obeying orders and know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them", he said.

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