Queen’s English mangled

Misspellings, typographical errors and sheer ignorance of grammar are gradually eroding the standards of written English. To understand this pathetic state of affairs, you have only to scan some of the newspapers, magazines and books published here and abroad. To a native speaker, some of the writings may appear to be gobbledegook.

One reason for the devastating situation is the overenthusiastic emphasis on spoken English. Students are encouraged to learn English without doing any writing assignments. In fact, there are more spoken English masters in Sri Lanka than quack doctors practising medicine with impunity. Spoken English teachers collect a fat income, not paying any attention to the future of their students.

A few decades ago, we could not find a single mistake in advertisements published in newspapers. They were written by professional copywriters who knew their English very well. However, the standards have drastically come down today, paving the way for substandard and comic advertisements. For instance, a recent newspaper advertisement read: “Children can be use the certain of following books and grasp to teachers and parents to use for teach them to beneficial their knowledge.” This is nothing but gibberish!

Source of hilarity

Most of the feature articles and letters to the editor that flood newspapers are written in mangled English by non-native speakers of the language. Some of them have become a source of hilarity. Although some newspapers and contributors can get away with mangled English, it can have serious implications for international business.

The misspelt Valley News masthead

Some of the written materials that come out of local business organisations are a disgrace to Queen’s English. Sometimes the companies spell the names wrong or fail to monitor the spell and grammar check. This is downright disrespect to the customer who is often hailed as the king.

Once a customer received a manual which said inter alia: “We edit the manual carefully and we think that the information provided in it is right and reliable, while the error and missing is incident, please excuse us and point out mistakes so that we correct it.” The customer would have got very confused after reading it!

We cannot always put the blame on local business organisations for such embarrassing mistakes. Once a British company gave a brochure to a customer who bought a washing-machine. It read, “This is an automatic and reliable washing-machine. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.” Can we just ignore it as a faux pas?

Stand upside down

Not to be outdone, an American hotel issued a booklet containing instructions to a batch of new recruits. One recruit raised his eyebrows when he read the following instruction: “After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.”

Some of the promotional materials coming out of educational institutions contain hilarious expressions. Very often, they misspell words such as “tuition” as “tution” and “grammar” as “grammer”. Educated parents who see such blunders may decide not to send their children to an institution that makes such basic spelling mistakes.

Mistake-ridden communication may lead to confusion. The following letter from the duty manager of a car park company was reproduced in The Daily Telegraph: “On this occasion a customer before you has acknowledge the machine for a receipt but hasn’t taken it, this sometimes happens as some customers think that the original ticket is there receipt and it wont come back unless they acknowledge the machine.”

Some newspapers also make blunders although they are quick to criticise others. The Valley News, a local newspaper published in the United States once spelled its name as ‘Valley Newss’ on the front page masthead. The following day, the editor had to carry an apology: “Given that we routinely call on other institutions to hold themselves accountable for the mistakes, let us say for the record: We sure feel silly.”