Pros and cons of being too nice and bossy
Given the inherent culture and habits of Sri Lankan leaders across
different fields, it is fair to say that most Sri Lankan leaders are at
the two extreme ends; either too nice or too bossy.
Both have their specific pros and cons. You would agree that there
are more cons than pros.
It doesn't work in today's environment. Varying environment and the
mindset of people demand that you keep moving on the axis to improve
organisational performance while helping the employees.
This is an art that needs to be developed in leaders across all
levels. However this cannot be acting oriented. Acting is easy but being
authentic for long term credibility and respect as a leader is
difficult. If you want to be an effective leader you have no choice but
to be authentic.
Authentic appreciation
Appreciation does not mean that one should accept everything and
everybody and be inauthentic about it. Inauthentic appreciation is
picked up quickly by the employees and it damages relationships instead
of building them.
Authentic appreciation, on the other hand, motivates people to go
beyond their own limits. It's about taking a genuine interest in people
and the business for well balanced accountability.
Focus on what works
It is easy for us to find fault with each other and see what is
missing or wrong. Unfortunately, focusing on what does not work only
leads to repeated failure.
We have some leaders in every field who get fun out of finding fault
and fault only.
This has to change. My experience has convinced me that catching
somebody making mistakes leads them to make more mistakes, whereas
catching them doing something right encourages them to be right more
often.
Of course it's your role to do it authentically with the right
intention. Appreciating people boosts their morale and makes them feel
good that somebody is paying attention to them and hence they continue
to do what brought them appreciation in the first place.
Appreciate others
Unfortunately, most often, we grow up discovering our limits by being
told what not to do and what doesn't work more than being encouraged to
explore what is possible.
We have to 'unlearn' our patterns of identifying what does not work
and intentionally concentrate on appreciating what works however small
that may be.
I can only appreciate others to the extent that I appreciate myself.
So appreciation is also about self acceptance. We rarely appreciate who
we are and what we receive because of our conditioned expectations. It
is possible for us to come from an attitude of 'never enough' and such
an attitude is quite transparent to others even though we might be blind
to it.
Most people are quite comfortable with who they are and what they
have got and never explore beyond their own comfort zones. In such
cases, they may never discover their real capacity and depend on others
to tell what their boundaries are and do not participate in anything
that makes them uncomfortable.
We can operate as catalysts with each other to identify our
self-imposed limits and examine the appropriateness of those limits in
the current context. Curiosity, collaboration, empathy, and appreciation
provide the impetus for people to engage in activity that is personally
challenging and, hopefully, discover their own untapped potential.
Such exploration can only be done in supportive environments and
appreciative relationships. While nobody can change anybody else, an
empathetic, appreciative person who is aware of his circumstances will
definitely make him think again about his mindset and be willing to
stretch a bit beyond his own comfort zone to explore what is out there.
You know the outcome that can be achieved; so go for it.
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