Short Story

The school bully

by V.B. Greenfield

The 'school bully' in our small infant school wasn't a child as you might suspect - it was the Head Teacher! I have a theory that the reason bullying is so common in schools is that the whole establishment is often run by the biggest bully of them all.

When we are children our parents frequently advise us to stand up to the bully, but it's a different kettle of fish when we reach adulthood and the bully is our boss.

Back to the bully of the title - let's call her 'Kat'. She was a plump, middle-aged woman in her fifties when she became Deputy Head to our jolly, good-hearted Head Teacher, 'Paula.' Kat's claim to fame was that she was married to the leader of a major religious organisation and that she'd had some picture books published.

As for her teaching experience none of us teachers had any idea. I only mention this because Kat asked every teacher to list all the schools they had taught in. For various reasons I had ten fairly disparate schools on my list. This appeared to disturb Kat who demanded, in no uncertain terms, why I'd worked in so many schools. Make of that what you will.

Intimidation

Kat had been ensconced in our school only a short while before she started to intimidate. Paula and 'stab' her in the back. I, myself, was sitting in the staff room with other teachers and some members of the Board of Governors when Kat swept out of Paula's room which led off the staff room, exclaiming 'She can't cope, she just can't cope.'

Paula appeared later, red-eyed, and not her usual ebullient self. Soon after this incident Paula took early retirement and the evil Kat took over as Head Teacher.

After a few months during which I was 'picked on' several times, I found myself in trouble again.

One of the kitchen staff had produced a 'rude' cake which she'd made for someone's birthday. Some people find this kind of cake amusing. It can represent any part of the body and in this case it was of a male. I'll let you use your own imagination as to what part it was.

During the lunch hour, while I was mounting art-work in the assembly hall, one of the teachers called me to the kitchen to see 'the cake.' I forgot to mention that I find this type of cake utterly tasteless - if you'll excuse the pun.

Anyway, I went to look at the afore-mentioned object, unsure what I would find. It was exactly what I expected and with the kitchen staff standing round it giggling I made what I thought was a humorous quip (not wishing to appear impolite) and hurriedly left.

Harridan

As I entered the staff room for my usual cup of coffee I saw Kat sitting there, arms folded over her ample bosom and with lips tightly pressed together. I innocently sat down opposite the harridan. Then through gritted teeth she hissed, 'You've seen the cake, haven't you, Jean? Well I don't like that sort of thing, Jean. I won't have it in my school!'

Open-mouthed, I just nodded and shook my head in bewilderment and disbelief. To my relief, at that moment, the teacher who had called me to the kitchen interjected 'I showed Jean the cake.' We were interrupted by the ringing of the afternoon session bell which sent us all scurrying to our classrooms. I waited for an apology but none was forthcoming. I laugh about it now but at the time I was mortified.

I have to admit that the unpleasant atmosphere in the school encourage me to become somewhat childish myself. Behind Kat's back, I took to calling her 'The Fat Controller' (from 'Thomas the Tank Engine') and 'Fuhrer' - a German word.

If I saw her coming across the playground towards my classroom after school I would dive into the stock cupboard which adjoined the next classroom and exit on the other side. If Kat seemed as if she would enter my neighbour's classroom back into the cupboard I would go, much to the bemusement of the other teacher!

Suspicion

On another occasion, after one whole school assembly, the only thing left in the hall was something that should have been in the toilet. We teachers tried to work out which class had been sitting in that spot. I had a sneaky suspicion that it was my class but said nothing as it would surely be 'my fault.'

This was not the end of it, however. In my classroom I'd set up a 'bakery' where the children could fashion cakes and biscuits out of play dough and 'sell' them to each other for maths, practice.

I was listening to a child read when another child whispered in my ear that there was something strange in the bakery.

Of course, I went to look and there was something similar to that found after assembly! Again it was my intention to keep quiet about this, but I had a classroom assistant who, before I could stop her, had announced the event to everyone in the staffroom.

When I walked into the staffroom the teachers were in fits of laughter. One with asked, 'Was she going to sell it in the bakery as a chocolate roll?' 'O.M.G.' I thought, 'Now I'm for the high jump. Kat was out at the time, but I dreaded her return.

Behaviour

Sure enough, at the end of the school day Kat appeared in my classroom accompanied by the school secretary. Kat's eyes narrowed as she tugged her cardigan over that ample bosom. 'I don't approve of that kind of behaviour, Jean' she growled. I knew she'd make me feel as if I'd trained the child to do this, 'It's disgusting' she continued.

Fortunately, the Secretary supported me, and no more unusual objects were found in my room.

So many things happened while I worked for 'the School Bully' that I could write a book. In short, I took early retirement, eventually washing up on the shores of Sri Lanka. As I sat on the golden sands of Ambalangoda, I thought of my colleagues slaving away in the cold and darkness of an English winter. I was so grateful to be out of that oppressive environment and silently I thanked 'the School Bully.' 'Because of you I have freedom in this paradise island' - this paradise where one day I would meet the love of my life, but that's another story!