Sorrow and fear spring from love

by Premasara Epasinghe

The Buddha, once said from desire arises sorrow and from desire arises fear.

Dhammapada Piya Vagga - “Affection”

Kamate jayati soko
Kamato Jayati Bhayam
Kamato Vippamuttassa
Natthi soko Kuto Bhayam?

From attachment, grief is born; from attachment arises fear; one who is free from attachment, there is no grief or fear).

He said so while residing at Jetavana Monastery, referring to a youth Anitthigandha. He refused to be carried by a woman, except his mother. He hailed from a very rich family in Savatthi. When he reached manhood, the parents were keen to arrange a marriage, but he refused. When the parents insisted, he did not oblige. Just to satisfy his beloved parents, he, with the help of 500 goldsmiths made a solid gold image of a woman, surpassing the beauty of a celestial damsel and told his parents,

“If you can find me a girl beautiful as this golden maiden, I will marry her.”

The parents were so happy that they immediately summoned the famous Brahamins and promised them a big sum of money and they set forth to find a maiden of equal beauty. The Brahamins took the gold image, proceeded to the city of Sagala in the kingdom of Madde.

Golden image

The Brahamins kept the golden image by the side of the road, leading to a bathing spot. There lived in the city a pretty, beautiful girl of 16 years. She was the only daughter of a very rich household. Like their own eyes, the parents looked after her and never allowed her to leave their mansion. There was an old maid or a nurse to take care of the young girl. When the old nurse went out for a bath, she saw the golden image, and misidentified it as that of the situ girl. She was terribly upset and warned the statue - “Dear child what made you to come out to the bathing place.”

The Brahamins were observing the old nurse and her comments and came to know the details about the pretty girl and her parents.

They returned and told the rich parents of Anitthigandha Kumara.

They send back the Brahamins to the city of Sagala and informed about the proposal. Accordingly, their parents accompanied by their pretty daughter set off to the bridegroom's city to marry Anittigandha Kumara.

She was so delicate that the journey became too tiring for her. The jolting carriage caused severe cramps in her and she died on her way.

Grief

Hearing the sad death of the beautiful would-be wife, the youth Anitthigandha Kumara was overwhelmed with pain and grief.

The Buddha, seeing that it was ripe for conversion, stopped at the youth's house, and explained to the parents and the youth “Because of love, intense sorrow has come upon you; sorrow and fear – spring from love.”