Your best resolution for the year 2015

By Lionel Wijesiri

In another four days a New Year dawns, and we know what that means. Millions of people (perhaps, including you) will be vowing to lose weight, stop smoking, stick to a budget, save money, find a better job, become more organised, exercise more, be more patient, eat better, and so on and so forth.

New Year’s resolutions have been with us for 4,000 years, ever since the Babylonians began celebrating the start of each new planting cycle. The Babylonians knew how to ring in the New Year. They’d party for 11 days, with each day devoted to a theme, before packing up their party hats and pulling out their ploughs. The Babylonians were the first to have New Year’s resolutions. The most common promises were to return borrowed farm equipment and pay off old debts. (What a decent set of people!)”.

Personally, I’m all for New Year’s resolutions. In fact, I seem to like them and enjoy them so much that I made them all the time, even without waiting for January 1. I made so many resolutions during the past few decades that my past New Year’s resolution confined only to one. Did I keep these resolutions? The answer is “No.” Have I kept them for more than four weeks? Definitely no!

If the Roman god Janus were around today, he’d have a thing or two to tell me about this. Enshrined in ancient mythology, he was the god of change, transitions, and beginnings. The Romans named the first month of the year after him for very good reasons. If you talk about his physical appearance, Janus had two faces - one looking forward, the other backward. Symbolically, it signalled the need to balance our hopes for tomorrow with a keen awareness of what happened yesterday. Romans really knew what they were doing.

I’m sure you don’t have much need for Roman mythology. But it strikes me that Janus might know why so many resolutions are forgotten by February. Could it be that we’re only looking forward - when we should be looking back in equal measure? We have New Year’s resolutions. What about Old Year reflections?

What values?

Let us ask ourselves: What values were most important to us as the year began? What values seem to be paramount right now? Why the change? What would we do differently at work if given the chance to circle back and relive one week of our choosing? What did we learn at work this past year? Did we stay in touch with our deep interests as individuals?

So, my advice to you is simple. Become a socially aware individual and begin to value human rights and acknowledges the importance of harmonious social interaction for the developmental progress of your fellow citizens. That is a very beautiful resolution.

Here are some strategies for developing social awareness.

* Consider the needs of individuals and groups around you. People need to feel heard, valued, respected and acknowledged. Develop sensitivity to the needs of others.

* Today, what we need is peace and unity. So, examine your role in conflicts. The use of excessive force, intimidation and aggression are common strategies when dealing with conflict. Some people avoid conflicts at all costs. Others choose the company of passive people or engage in passive aggressive behaviour. Consider the role that you play in continuing conflicts and commit to living a more socially harmonious life. Develop conflict resolution skills. Spend time talking to and observing the behaviour of leaders and mentors who are known for their harmonious nature.

* Increase your sensitivity to social justice and harmony. This may mean treating others fairly regardless of their level of popularity or style of dress

* Educate yourself on social issues. Racism, poverty and inequality are just a few examples of issues plaguing society.

* Practice compassion. Social transformation requires a commitment to exploring and understanding divergent viewpoints. Develop empathy by consciously imagining yourself in the position of those in a different or less fortunate situation.

* Design a plan that keeps you continually aware socially. Serve in your community. Explore service opportunities in schools, cultural centres, political organisations, religious communities or neighbourhood activities. Engage in a social activity on a daily basis. Choose an activity that requires you to listen to and tend to the needs of another person or group.

Revealing story

Practice speaking up in defence of others. Commit to voicing your opinion on behalf of marginalised groups who are deprived of their basic human rights

At the same time, focus your attention on the people who have made a difference in your life during this year, and spend some time reflecting on the lessons they taught you about balancing your life with work and family - and have a life of good social values too!

Talking of social values, I want to share with you a little event which took place in the USA a few years ago. It could be the most revealing story you would have heard all year.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, Styrofoam, glass, crystal; some plain looking, some obviously expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.”

“What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee the Nature has provided us. Remember - Nature brews the coffee, not the cups. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything... They just make the best of everything”.

The moral of the story is that there is no need to light crackers or offer fireworks to Janus. Some serious reflection on the past will shine a much brighter light on how you can shape your future. Happy New Year to you!