Embracing a slower paced life

By Lionel Wijesiri

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
- Moliere

For years, I found asking myself why most of our people are in such a hurry that they do dangerous things. For example, my experiences and observations, as I drive my car, were of drivers tailgating, weaving in and out of lanes, passing vehicles from the left lane and going at alarmingly high rates of speed and well beyond speed limits.

In many ways this piece is not only about traffic and aggressive driving but about how we live our daily lives. Throughout the day, we are in a mighty hurry to complete tasks at home, in school and at work. We rush from one place to another but rarely take time to think about what we are really doing.

It’s an irony of our modern lives that while technology is continually invented that saves us time, we use that time to do more and more things, and so our lives are more fast-paced and hectic than ever. Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.

Slow down

A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy our mornings, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It means taking time to enjoy whatever we are doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever we’re talking to or spending time with - instead of always being connected to the iPad, iPhone, smartphone or laptop, instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitudes of tasks and focusing on none of them.

Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here’s how to do it.

First of all, take responsibility of your life. If your job forces you to rush, take control of it. Cut back on your task list, on how much you try to do each day. Focus not on quantity but quality. Pick two or three important things and work on those first. Save smaller, routine tasks for later in the day, but give yourself time to focus.

Make changes in what you do, in how you work. If you are an employee, work with your boss to make changes, if necessary. And if really necessary, you can eventually change jobs. Remember, you are responsible for your life.

If you live in a city where everyone rushes, realise that you don’t have to be like everyone else. You can be different. Your environment doesn’t control your life - you do.

If you’re constantly rushing to appointments or other places you have to be, it’s because you don’t allot enough time in your schedule for preparing and for travelling. If you think it only takes you 15 minutes to get ready, perhaps give yourself 30 minutes so you don’t have to shave in a rush or put on makeup in the car. If you think you can get there in 20 minutes, perhaps give yourself 2-3 times that amount so you can go at leisure.

It’s not enough to just slow down - you need to actually be mindful of whatever you’re doing at the moment. That means, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that’s already happened, or something that might happen … gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on what’s going on right now. On your actions, on your environment, on others around you. This takes practice but is essential.

Be present

Too often we spend time with friends and family, or meet with business colleagues, and we’re not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. We are there, but our minds are on things we need to do. We listen, but we’re really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say. None of us are immune to this, but with conscious effort you can shut off the outside world and just be present with the person you’re with. This means that just a little time spent with your family and friends can go a long way - a much more effective use of your time, by the way. It means we really connect with people rather than just meeting with them.

The most important step is the realisation that life is better when you move at a slower, more relaxed pace, instead of hurrying and rushing and trying to cram too much into every day. Instead, get the most out of every moment.

Is a book better if you speed read it, or if you take your time and get lost in it? Is a song better if you skim through it, or if you take the time to really listen? Is food better if you cram it down your throat, or if you savour every bite and really appreciate the flavour? Is your time spent with a friend or loved one better if you have a rushed meeting interrupted by your emails and text messages, or if you can relax and really focus on the person?

Pressure

Excessive time-urgency is a problem in thinking. Everyone has some pressure to get things done quickly. However, if you consider everything is equally urgent, you’re likely to experience stress problems. Rethink your view of time, how you relate to it, and what is really important to you. Place events and tasks in proper perspective.

At the root of this problem is the expectation that we must always do more. Are you trying to do more than you are reasonably capable of? Learn your limitations. Focus on one thing at a time.

We’re overcommitted, which is why we’re rushing around so much. It is not just with work, but projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their children, and they overcommit their children as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have classes and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we’re actually deteriorating the quality of those activities.

Slowly eliminate commitments - pick a few essential ones, and realise that the rest, while nice or important, just don’t fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don’t have time to stick to those commitments.

Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you’re with someone, be with them fully. When you’re walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.

Exercise

When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a few more. Keep doing the exercise for a few minutes. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down.