Shattered dreams

by Rupa Wijesinghe

“Hello Romesh, shall we attend Suvimali's funeral, which is tomorrow, Saturday. We could set off in the morning and be back before late.” It was Pramodh on the phone. “Ok. We will make it.”

Suvimali (Suvi as she was called), was a batch-mate of theirs at the University, many years ago. She had been ailing, not for a long time, with a terminal illness, and her death was not a surprise, though it saddened the hearts of all those who knew her.

As a young 'fresher', charming, with lovely bright eyes, long black hair, a bewitching smile adorning her face, she soon won the heart of Romesh, who himself was very handsome, tall and fair.

Romesh and Pramodh were close friends from their childhood, having attended the same school, entering University in the same year, and above all, being room-mates in their Hall of Residence. There were no secrets between them.

Suvimali too, had two bosom pals – Sepali and Savithri, always together, and they were referred to as, the three 'S's. Many a time, Romesh and Pramodh, would go early for lectures, to see Suvimali walking in with Sepali and Savithri. Seeing him, she would smile – adding a touch of liveliness to her beautiful face. She knew he was interested in her, and so was she, but she had no way of expressing her feelings.

How many times had Romesh and Pramodh stood on the balcony of their room to catch a glimpse of Sivumali strolling down the pathway with her friends, carefree and happy, giggling, sensing that they were being watched. Little incidents, made them understand that Romesh was deeply interested in Suvi and had eyes only for her. Her friends teased her. Why wasn't he making a move?

As for Pramodh, he had a girl back home, a strong bond, approved and blessed by the parents on both sides. Once in the library, when they were looking for a particular reference book, Romesh found it, and though, both he and Pramodh needed it, he handed it over to Suvi. They both liked each other very much, but did not have the courage to disclose it. Never were they seen together alone, like the 'fresher couples' climbing the Hantane hills, or walking down 'Lovers Lane”, or sitting together on the banks of the flowing Mahaweli. He knew there were so many interested in her, who wondered why she was not responding.

First move

“Don’t be stupid. Why don't you tell her you love her, and start a relationship. You should make the first move”.

“You know my parents, Pramodh. They'll definitely object to my choice. I don't want to let her down at the last minute.” Romesh spent many a sleepless night. How beautiful she looked at the ‘Colours Night’ Dance. Draped in a Kandyan sari, with her hair tied in a 'Konde' and little sprig adorning it. Didn't she look simple and elegant. To him, she was the most beautiful of all the young damsels there, beauty in simplicity. He saw himself caught between the Devil and the Sea. How can I disappoint my parents, being their only child. Many a time have they indicated to me. Can't I stand on my own. Can't I win them over. No, that'll never happen. They and their false values. Relatives are looking forward to a 'great' wedding – caste, creed, status, family background. Pramodh was very sympathetic, but helpless, knowing the family's arrogance and pride. In lighter vein. Pramodh jokingly suggested, “Why not elope wither.”

“Where to?”

They both laughed.

“Shall I speak to your mother? Aunty Srima is considerate.” “No, not in a matter like this. Our friendship will be shattered.” So, it was decided that Suvimali and Romesh remain friends.

After graduation, Romesh with his father's influence, secured a prestigious job. “It's time you settled down in life, now that you have a steady job too.” That was his father. “Mr. Dullewe, the General Manager of that Institution, has proposed his daughter, their only child. She will be inheriting the Maha Gedera and Estate. She does not need to do a job as she will be getting a very large income from her assets. That's why he did not send her for higher studies. He wants her to lead a comfortable life with an educated man from any equally influential family.” Romesh was silent. He had never argued with his parents. “The Astrologer says the horoscopes match perfectly.

Romesh spoke to his mother, when father was out of the way. “Amma, I don't like this proposal.” “Why, have you anyone in mind?” “I've seen this girl. I'd like someone more feminine and educated.”

“An educated girl may do a job, and get paid, but will you ever get such a handsome dowry and be able to live in comfort.”

Marriage

After a short period of association, Romesh got married to Mekhala. They lived in Mekhala's ancestral home. Mekhala was used to a very comfortable life. She had her own car, servants at her beck and call, and a mother to spoil and pamper her. Romesh held a responsible post, and was involved with official work. His wife, had her own type of friends, all more or less westernised.

Most probably, being bored at home, and on her friends' insistence, she started an exclusive ‘Dress Boutique’, and made constant trips to countries like Bangkok and Malaysia to purchase clothes which would have a ready market for the elite.

Avinash, their first born, and only child to be subsequently, was a bundle of joy. His grand-parents doted on him. His mother-in-law, together with the domestic aids, did all the baby's work-bathing, washing and ironing, while Mekhala only breast-fed him, and fondled him. That made her continue her trips abroad, as well as the fast that she breast-fed the baby only for a short while.

Romesh and Prabodh had reached the funeral house. White banners and flags were put up. A few other batch-mates were just leaving.

They walked up to the coffin. Romesh's heart sank, when he saw an enlarged photograph of Suvimali, near the head of the coffin, amidst the innumerable wreaths. It was the photograph he had taken of her at the ‘Colours Night’. She looked beautiful, with that shy, captivating smile, and lovely black eyes, that seemed to be looking at him.

Suvi's mother

The elderly lady, seated by the coffin was Suvi's mother. Romesh sympathised with her.

“I was a batch-mate of hers at the University”.

“I assume you are married.”

“Yes.”

“Just see. All her batch-mates are married but she didn't want to. She has told me that her first and only love was for one man, and she could never feel the same for anyone else”. Romesh's legs quivered. He sat on the chair close by.

“Until the last moment she worked in the ‘Sunshine Home’, set up by her, for young girls who really need love. Perhaps, she got the feeling of being loved always, from them.”

“They were driving back home in Prabodh's car. Prabodh sensed that Romesh had travelled down memory lane, and was feeling said. “Shall we have a ‘bite’here?”

“No, I'd like to go home soon.”

“What's the hurry? Everything is done for you. The food is prepared and served, clothes washed and ironed...”Hm”.

“As for me, Mihiri waits till I get back home to have her meals. She never cats before I do, unless I tell her to. She's always busy with the children's work, and household chores, and I have to help her.”

The car stopped at Romesh's palatial home. The driver opened the gate. The big Alsatian dog jumped up, wagging its tail, welcoming him. Siripala opened the front door with a smile.

His mother-in-law was watching TV in the lounge. The house was spick and span, the brass-ware shining under the lights of the spreading chandeliers.

“I’ve kept your towel in the wash-room Sir. Am I to get the dinner ready?”

“No, I've had dinner,”.Romesh lied.

“Oh! Baby mahathmaya was waiting to have dinner with you”. “OK, then get dinner ready”

Avinash walked out of his room, hearing his fathers voice. “You've come Appachchi. We'll have dinner together”.

At the well laid out dinner table they chatted.

“Whose funeral did you attend Appachchi?”

“A batch-mate’s”

“Your batch mate? Too young to die! She may be having children of my age.”

“No, she never married.” Romesh did not wish to continue the topic any further.

“Ashan, you must eat more vegetables. You seem to be enjoying only the chicken.”

“True. One of my colleagues remarked that I was putting on weight.”

“How's work? Are you happy there?”

“Oh yes, and so many nice folk to work with”.

“Any one in particular?” He blushed and smiled “Why do you ask?”

“If so, tell Athamma and Amma, on time.” He laughed.

“Why on time?” The photograph of Suvimali flashed across his mind, akin to a glow-worm's flittering light.

“By the way, when is Amma returning?”

“I'll have to go to the Air-port, when she rings me”.

Romesh retired to his bed-room. A feeling of loneliness and emptiness enveloped him. He got into bed and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow, the dawn will flood through the bed-room, lighting up the two pictures, hanging on the wall right opposite his bed – one of Mekhala and himself, and the other, of Avinash, on his Graduation day.