10 Things You Should Never Have to Apologise For
by Alicia Rades
If
you’re honest with yourself, then you know that not everyone in your
life will support every decision you make. People will judge you. It’s
inevitable. But that doesn’t mean you have to apologize for making a
decision they don’t agree with. Bringing yourself down by apologizing
for things you aren’t sorry for only takes away a part of who you are.
It’s worth making a point to be honest with others.
Start by not apologizing for these 10 things.
1. Your Past
Do you have a friend or family member who always brings up the same
instance over and over? And it’s something that happened 10 years ago?
Do they still use it to manipulate you? Your past is just that. It’s
your past. Everyone makes foolish mistakes. We were all dumb teenagers
once. But as long as it’s not part of who you are today and you’ve
forgiven yourself for your mistakes, it shouldn’t be on your list of
things to apologize for.
2. Your Sexual Preferences
Your sexual preferences are your sexual preferences. Just like you
would never apologize for liking the colour green when your best friend
likes the color blue, you shouldn’t have to say sorry for what you do
and don’t like when it comes to sex. Truth be told, no one else
should care. It’s frankly none of their business. But unfortunately,
people will care if your preferences don’t comply with mainstream ideas.
As long as all of your actions are consensual, what you do in private
should stay in private, but even if it does get out, you shouldn’t have
to say sorry.
3. Standing Up for What You Believe In
Have people ever made you feel guilty for standing up for your values
and beliefs? Unfortunately, our parents, friends, and even strangers are
good at doing that if our beliefs don’t coincide with theirs. But
instead of taking a step back and apologizing for standing up for
yourself, take this as an opportunity to stand up for yourself once
again. This type of assertiveness can empower you and boost your
confidence.
4. Giving Your Honest Opinion
Let’s say your friend asks if her hair looks bad, insisting that you
tell her what you honestly think. You say, yes, it does look bad. Only
she gets mad and blows up in your face, saying that you’ve hurt her
feelings. Sound familiar? Your first instinct is to probably console
her, say you’re sorry, and tell her that it doesn’t look that bad. But
you shouldn’t have to do that, especially when she has asked you to be
honest.Honesty has been linked to better health, says the American
Psychological Association. You shouldn’t have to take back your
opinions, nor should you apologize for them. It’s only in the best
interest of your well-being.
5. Expressing Your Emotions
Has anyone called you a “baby” for crying or a crazy person for
expressing your joy and excitement? Then what do you do? Apologize for
sharing? The situation is all too familiar. But expressing your emotions
is a healthy behavior, and it’s not something you should practice
concealing. In fact, expressing your emotions—even in just a journal—has
been shown to make you happier since it helps you cope with life better.
6. Deleting Friends on Facebook
Let’s be honest: Not all your Facebook friends are your true friends.
Deleting people who harass you, are gossips, or are just plain annoying
is an act for your own well-being. Do you have to justify this action?
No. Do you have to apologize for it? Definitely not.
7. Spending Time with People Who Make You Happy
Do you have friends—or perhaps parents—who hate the people you hang
out with? They don’t just tease you for your choice in friends or a
significant other.
They actually belittle you about it.But it’s not their choice. Does
this person make you happy? Do you enjoy being around him or her? You
should never have to apologize for doing something that makes you happy,
including hanging out with someone others might not approve of.
8. Forgiving Someone
Have you ever forgiven someone only for your friends to wonder why
you did so? They still wanted to kick the perpetrator’s butt while you
were content with letting the situation go. Forgiveness is another one
of those things that can improve your mental well-being, so it’s not
worth apologizing for forgiving someone.
9. Being YOU
Are you kind of weird? Sometimes nerdy? Perhaps a bit too
opinionated? And do you like yourself for it? Then that’s the only
justification you need to continue being who you are. If other people
can’t handle it, that’s their problem. You shouldn’t say sorry for
preferences or actions that define who you are as a person—as long as
you know you like that person.
10. Following Your Dreams
This is sadly one thing too many people apologize for. Do you dream
about writing a best-seller? What about becoming a famous dancer? Or
maybe you dream simply of having kids someday.
All of these dreams take preparation, but unfortunately no matter
what dream you pursue, you’ll get scrutinized by someone.Have you heard
your parents criticize your career choice? Do your friends laugh at your
efforts to pursue your talents? Not once should the words “I’m sorry”
come out of your lips. Instead, you should be saying, “I’m proud of
myself for following my dreams.”
( Alicia Rades is a
freelance writer and blogger who has a passion for sharing practical
advice to help others succeed. ) |