To stay together not because we forget, but because we forgive
 “The
things that people in love do to each other they remember, and if they
stay together it’s not because they forget, it’s because they forgive.”
- From the movie, “Indecent Proposal.”
Sri Lanka is a land built on beauty. Weathered by the passage of
time, she has not turned to dust and ashes; her beauty has not died. She
is a land that, like love, does not request, but provides. She has
existed as one land even before the advent of humanity. Archaeological
evidence exists to prove that there were settlements by prehistoric
people in Sri Lanka from 125,000 years BP (Before Present). Thus, in the
context of human evolution, it will not be wrong to say that her peoples
had evolved from time before history, time before religion, time before
traditions and customs. Yet, they had endured the passage of time and
remained as one, bound by the custom, bound by the tradition, bound by
the principles of human ethics, which evolved as they evolved together.
Frailties
From before the period of myths and legends, this land has seen and
endured human frailties played out on the canvas of her soil. Her
ancient societies from the period of myths and legends had
anthropomorphic gods and goddesses: a huge pantheon expanding into
centuries of dynastic drama as fathers and sons, star-crossed lovers,
warring brothers, martyred heroes.
In the relatively more recent periods of history, these
personifications attributed with human form and characteristics were to
be, imitated by the very people who created them. Thus, human fathers
and sons, star-crossed lovers, warring brothers, martyred heroes, and
more, played out their every day stuff of every man and woman’s life:
tragedies and comedies, tragicomedies and romance, writ large on the
canvas of Lanka, teaching us the dangers of hubris and the primacy of
humility.
Yet, history may repeat itself, but is never able to teach and drive
some sense into the conduct of humans seems to be our lesson. For, in
spite of the lessons of history, hubris - that deadly pride devoid of
substance - remains our fatal flaw. Thus, in their hurry to become
godlike, we Sri Lankans have become, with frightening ease, less than
human. Politics and politicians have contributed in no small manner to
this degradation of our human intelligence, values, and ethics. Some of
the biggest cases of mistaken identity are among our politicians who
have trouble remembering that they are not God. It is the mark of the
mind untrained to take its own processes as valid for all men, and its
own judgments for absolute truth.
Impudence
Politicians, that species of impudence, think that the way they
understand things is the way things are. Thus, they begin to worship
only themselves and in the process become slick and polished, but remain
inert like monuments, lifeless, characterless. The true politician will
not let his people starve; children to go barefoot, mothers to drudge
for their living at seventy. All this happens because they are
preoccupied with the self, their desire for power, their re-election.
They, if there ever was anything to be ashamed in this land of
serendipity, are the shame of Sri Lanka. Of course, on their pedestal,
they will carve the word: My name is Thingummy Bob, King of Kings. I am
a person of no apparent reason for existence; but exist in every day
life for want of a better alternative and because no other person comes
to mind at the time. Look on me as the mighty, and despair. Nothing
besides me remains: except decay, colossal wreck, boundless and bare
havoc. For I am the one and only Thingummy Bob, King of Kings.
Everything can be taken from a man; but not the last of the human
freedoms - the freedom to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Centuries of subservience,
cowering, and servility has robbed the Sri Lankan people of their
backbone and turned them into spineless lions and sinewless tigers fit
only to hunt dead mice. With nothing of substance anywhere in their
anatomy other than their reproductive ability, it was easy for the
corrupt and power hungry politicians to turn them into mindless
thingamabobs who had not the intelligence to know that freedom is man’s
capacity to take a hand in his own development, his capacity to mold
himself.
Immemorial
Thus, he let the bitterness of his disappointments in life, turn into
enmity with his neighbours, his brethrens. He forgot that from time
immemorial, this land called Lanka has had one people, bound together by
tradition, custom, and the commonality of interests.
He forgot that, all the books we have read, have been read by other
people; all the songs we have loved, has been heard by other people; all
the girls that looked pretty to us is pretty to other people as well. He
forgot that as a nation, we remain only as strong as we are united, and
as weak as we are divided; for we are each other’s harvest; we are each
other’s business; we are each other’s magnitude and bond. Sometimes,
like a zipper, the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart.
But if we develop understanding, develop love and loving kindness
towards all, and live as all for one, and one for all, nothing on earth
can tear us apart.
Though not easy, the time has come for us to let go of past
resentments, a process also known as forgiveness. Letting go does not
mean forgetting a wrongful action or excusing how hurtful it was.
However, it means letting go the human survival-instinct to hurt back,
to retaliate, or to wish as much or more suffering on the other. When we
hold on to hurts and disappointments, regardless of how justified we may
be; deep down, we allow deep emotion-laden pockets of accrued
bitterness, rage, or hatred to build inside of us. It is true that
sometimes, letting of bitterness is a gift we give to free ourselves;
but forgiveness releases the power of love in the form of acceptance.
That allows the physiological state of our mind and body to return to
its natural state of restoring balance where compassion is the governing
emotion, and the mind and body operate as one, even when fear shows up.
Resentment
Hate and resentment, is a superficial way of soothing our pain and
preserving our sense of personal power and dignity; but, in truth, it
gives away our power instead. Ultimately, the power of forgiveness rests
in that it is an act of fully accepting that something we never
expected, wanted or even feared, and tried desperately to avoid,
happened. This means the event is now in the past and cannot be changed.
Choosing to deal with a past disappointment with ‘conscious’ acceptance
is a healing gift we give to ourselves.
Finally, forgiveness invites you to a conscious relationship with
your thoughts and mind. An invitation to forgive is a challenge that
calls you to give up harming thoughts and judgments about the other; and
instead, consciously formulate feelings that allow you to stay connected
to your infinite capacity for compassion, wisdom, and understanding.
Forgiveness has little if anything to do with the person who hurt or
betrayed you. It is purely an internal matter, a matter of the self. To
forgive, we go inside to consciously make necessary changes in the way
we think and believe about a person or situation, and embrace new ways
of thinking that allow us to claim back our power to freely express the
essence of who, we are: Love. If we really want to love, we must learn
how to forgive. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute
of the strong.
For views, reviews, encomiums, and brickbats:
[email protected]
|
