[Behind Closed Doors]
A jumbo chase, advice on advisers, and a rugby damsel
Jumbo blocks pooja
The Hoover province politico of appachchi mala fame, who recently
entered the House on the Oya through its rear entrance, went to
Kebiliththa last week to hold a special pooja, probably to thank his
Gods for the ‘backdoor’ ministerial appointment.
an interesting turn of events, he was prevented from entering the sacred
area of Kebiliththa by none other than a wild elephant who kept blocking
the path of the ministerial entourage. The politico was accompanied by
his wife and a few of his security guards in mufti.
At one point, the elephant, annoyed by the presence of the politico
and his group, started chasing after the group and the politico had to
literally run for his life. With this unexpected jumbo attack, the
minister had to abandon his ‘Kebiliththa’ plan and return to Colombo
with a heavy heart.
A devotee of the Cosmic forces, the politico now worries that the
Gods were unpropitiated and may be unkind to him.
Advice about advisers
The new Cabinet, which had its second meeting last Wednesday, made a
decision to limit appointments to personal offices of Ministers.
According to whispers behind the closed doors at the President’s House,
President Sirisena requested his ministers to desist from appointing
more than two advisors and to follow a special code of conduct that
would soon be introduced.
“Even the two advisors,” the hopeful President said, “should be
veterans in their fields with sound educational qualifications.”
President Sirisena, who is determined to ensure ‘Yahapalanaya’ in his
own Cabinet, said that a ministerial sub-committee will also be
appointed to formulate the code of conduct for ministers.
Another Minister told the Cabinet meeting that a special report
should be presented to the Cabinet on the horde of ‘advisers’ appointed
by the previous President and the way they had been rewarded.
“Only then will the public truly understand the difference between
then and now,” the Minister had argued.
the Cabinet meeting, however, the new ministers were seen whispering to
each other with serious looks on their faces. Apparently, their main
problem was finding advisors who would fit the criteria laid down by
their chief – genuine work experience and suitable educational
qualifications. Most of their close aides, needless to say, did not even
have basic GCE O/L qualifications, let alone any professional
The rugby rumour-mill is agog with the news that the Damsel in
distress, who got into hot water over the inquiry into the sudden death
of a ruggerite, is now often seen together with another ruggerite who is
a member of the national rugby team. It is no secret in rugby circles
that the two are deeply in love. Whispers in the club corridors say that
the affair is turning out to be an ‘until-death-do-us-apart’ sort of
Meanwhile, whispers at the club bar say that some of the rugby
player’s close friends had warned him of possible threats to his life in
the light of his new, high profile relationship since the Damsel had
close links to a certain royal family back in the days of unrestrained
Cut to ribbons
Minister Lakshman Kiriella, who was invited to ceremonially
commission the Kaduwela-Kadawatha segment of the Outer Circular Highway,
found the ceremonial inaugural ribbon already cut! Two local women
residents, presumably die-hard supporters of Mahinda Rajapaksa, had
sneaked in and cut the ribbon before the chief guest arrived to
officially open the road.
The women, who carried placards with portraits of the former
President, had stealthily brought a pair of scissors to the venue and
caused a stir as they intervened. The invited foreign diplomats were
alarmed and amused by this last minute commotion. The protesting females
clamoured that Rajapaksa, who at the time was resting in his residence
after a trip to Pasikudah, should open the highway as it was his pet
While the officials fixed a new ribbon for Minister Kiriella to
formally open the highway, the two Mahinda fans were escorted away by
Police. Later, the genial Minister himself had intervened for leniency
in their favour.