It doesn't matter
Three words that work magic in our lives:
"I am going to share with you three words that will help you
immensely in your future careers and in life," a wise university
professor, while speaking on the subject of 'Logical Reasoning' once
told a class I attended. The words are: 'It doesn't matter.'
At first, his advice didn't make any sense to me. It seemed to
condone a 'who cares' attitude, a direct contradiction to the attitudes
we had been taught to foster.
What really matters is, whether you can lead a happy life no
matter what obstacles you
encounter – Google image
Then the professor began to explain. "An adult has many frustrations
in his day that are really not important. If he lets those frustrations
get to him, he can be devastated. I will give you an example. Suppose
you area senior business executive and have carefully planned your day.
There is much to be done.
An important exhibition is coming up in three days where your
organisation has a stall. One staff member suddenly gets sick and throws
up right on the mural the others have nearly finished. Now, you can
either fall apart because your plans are ruined, or you can say, 'It
doesn't matter,' and convince yourself that it doesn't."
"Of course, you will have concern for what does matter: the feelings
of the sick youngster. But as far as your plans are concerned, you will
simply pick up your schedule where you left off."
After the explanation, I could see the wisdom in his statement. Since
I used to get frustrated easily, I pencilled the phrase 'It doesn't
matter' in capital letters in my Bulletin Board. I decided I would try
not to let my frustrations and disappointments ruin my peace of mind.
Within a few weeks, the first challenge came. There was a
good-looking lady with whom I had fallen in love. She was also a student
in the same campus. She mattered to my life and I saw her as my Princess
Charming. But one afternoon, she told me as gently as she could that she
thought of me only as a friend. The world I had planned around her came
That night, the words on my bulletin board seemed ironical: It
doesn't matter, the Professor said. "Maybe to him," I thought. "But for
me, it does," I whispered. "Really does."
But when I awakened the next morning and looked at the words again, I
began to analyse the situation. How much did it matter - really? She
mattered, of course,and our happiness mattered. But I did not want to be
married to someone who didn't love me.
As the days went by, I found that life was indeed possible without
her. I could be happy. And surely someone else would enter my life. Even
if no one did, I'd still be happy. I could control my feelings.
It's only money
Talking about this 'It doesn't matter' concept, I remember a story
told to me recently by a lady who is known to me for over 10 years. "A
few years ago, my husband and I received some bad news. The money we had
saved and invested in a Finance Company had been lost. After he read the
email to me, my husband left the room to be alone in the study. I could
see him through the hall doorway, his forehead in his palms.
The knot in my own stomach twisted as bitterness began to settle in.
But then the energetic pounding of our baby boy playing with his blocks
diverted my attention. When he saw me looking at him, he stopped his
pounding to chuckle and grinned.
And that had no price tag. Past him, through the window, my girls
were fixing the sides of a flower pot they were making in eager, happy
cooperation. Beyond them, I could see the sky that was clear and blue
"I could feel the knot in my stomach relaxing as peace took its
place. Soon I felt myself smiling, and it wasn't long before I was
heading for the study with a message for my husband: Everything is going
to be all right. It's only money and it honestly doesn't matter."
With the 'It doesn't matter' attitude, you give up expectations, both
internal and external, self-imposed and outside pressure, and any
pre-occupation with 'what should be' or 'what might happen if'. You are
not driven by fear or doubt or any other negative thoughts or emotions
that can prevent you from engaging yourself fully and without hesitation
in your life.
You are able to throw yourself completely and with absolute vigour
into everything you do, whether relationships, work, sports, whatever,
because the only thing that could hold you back- failure or loss- is no
longer a threat.
The 'It doesn't matter' attitude means that you will embrace every
opportunity that life presents to you and, at the end of a day, year,
career, or on your death bed, you will have no regrets because you "left
it all out there."
When you embrace the 'It doesn't matter' attitude, you experience
something that is called 'complete freedom' in your life. Complete
freedom involves knowing what you don't want and freeing yourself from
those mind blocks that have forced your life along its current
Complete freedom also means knowing what you want and propelling
yourself along a new and fulfilling path toward that which you seek to:
With this complete freedom, you can know that you did everything in your
power to live the life that you most wanted and that would bring you
your greatest meaning, satisfaction, and happiness.
In the large spectrum of life, there are many things that do matter.
Our values and our honour matter. Our religion matters. We matter.
But there are also many things that threaten our peace of mind and
our happiness that simply don't matter, or that don't matter as much as
we make them matter.