60+ and raring to go

by Lionel Wijesiri

After reading my recent story captioned 'Looking forward on the 73rd Birthday', a reader asked me two interesting questions. Why do most men and women discover reality of life and thereafter gain new vitality and creativity to the end of their days, while others go to seed long before? Can we really expect happiness and success after 60 years?

Honestly, I do not know the answer to the first question but for the second, my answer is - yes, we can, if history is any indicator. Let me give you few examples:

* At 72, J.R. Jayewardene becomes the first executive President of Sri Lanka and served in the post for 11 years.

*At 62, Louis Pasteur gives the first injection against rabies.

-At same age, John Wayne ('The Duke') wins an Oscar for the film 'True Grit'.

*At 64, Winston Churchill becomes Prime Minister of Great Britain proving that courage is not reserved for the young.

*At 73, Rex Harrison completes a successful 11-month tour in 'My Fair Lady'.

-Cathleen Nesbitt (92) plays his mother.

*At 74, Katharine Hepburn stars in on Golden Pond with 76-year-old Henry Fonda.

*At 75, Elizabeth Arden, founder of the beauty empire that bears her name, is keeping fit doing yoga handstands.

*At 76, H. G. Wells completes his doctoral dissertation, earning a D.Sc. from London University.

The list goes on and on.

We've all known people who run out of steam before they reach life's halfway mark. I'm not talking about those who fail to get to the top.

We cannot all get there. I'm talking about people who have stopped learning or growing because they have adopted the fixed attitudes and opinions that all too often come with passing years.

Most of us, in fact, progressively narrow the scope and variety of our lives. We succeed in our field of specialisation and then become trapped in it. Nothing surprises us. We lose our sense of wonder. But if you are 60+ and conscious of these dangers, you can resort to few countervailing measures.

Reject stagnation

Reject the myth that learning is for young people. It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. Learn all your life experiences - from your successes, from your failures. When you hit a spell of trouble, ask, "What is it trying to teach me?" The lessons aren't always happy ones. In one of his essays, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss."

We learn from our friends and families. We learn by accepting the obligations of life, by suffering, by taking risks, by loving, by bearing life's indignities with dignity.

Learn the reality

The things you learn in maturity seldom involve information and skills. You learn to bear with the things you can't change. You learn to avoid self-pity. You learn not to burn up energy in anxiety. You learn that most people are neither for, nor against you but rather are thinking about themselves.

You learn that no matter how much you try to please,some people are never going to love you-a notion that troubles at first but is eventually relaxing.

One of the most valuable things you learn is that ultimately you're the one who's responsible for you. You don't blame others. You don't blame circumstances. You take charge.

Keep your zest

If you're going to keep on learning, your surest allies will be high motivation and enthusiasm. Some people, somehow, keep their zest until the day they die. They care about things. They reach out. They enjoy. They risk. Above all, they know how important it is to have meaning in their lives. People can achieve meaning only if they have made a commitment to something larger than their own little egos, whether to loved ones, to fellow humans, to work, or to some moral or religious concept.

Never say 'I am aged'

There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions and the third is how old you feel you are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age.

Money is important, not essential:

Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed. But never take it for granted.

Relax and recreate

The most relaxing and recreating forces are a healthy religious attitude, good sleep, music and laughter. Be religious, learn to sleep well, love good music and see the funny side of life.

Accept Change

We should accept change - it is inevitable.Change has brought about many pleasant things. We should be happy that our children are blessed.

Forget and forgive

Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our BP.

Overcome the fear of death

We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will not be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will carry on as usual.