|
|
 |
 |
| Sunday, 20 July 2003 |
 |
|
 |
Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
|
Meghalaya - Where women call the cards According to India's National Family Health Survey, Meghalaya is where parents have shown the least interest in having a male child - 73 per cent less than their national average. by Carol Aloysius reporting from Guwahati, Assam
Preference for a son may be the dominant feature in most of India where daughters are seen as a burden resulting in the killing of hundreds of female foetuses. But in the country's remote North East state of Meghalaya, a three hour drive from Guwahati in the state of Assam, parents pray for a daughter instead of a son. For in this matriarchal tribal state it is the women who call the cards, as business owners and decision makers. In almost every household, it is the women who go out to work and are the principle wage earners, while their men stay home and look after the children. This prominent role of women is highly visible in the Khasi Hills where the Khasis, a community which is said to have its origins in Kampuchea, follow a matrilineal society. The local Khasi and Janatia tribesmen in Meghalaya value their daughters so much that they leave all their ancestral property to them rather than to their sons.
Ironically, the custodian of family property is the Ka Khadduh - the youngest daughter who thus assumes the most important place in society. The children born to a Khasi family also assume the title of their mother rather than their father. "There is no question of dowry because we inherit all the ancestral property", says Drupathy a cigarette vendor we came across in the main town. Meghalayan women run the family businesses, dominate the households and take all the family decisions. I found ample evidence of this fact on a recent visit to this North Eastern state, in the company of several journalists from Sri Lanka and India to attend the 26th Plenary Sessions of the Indian Federation Working Journalists (IFWJ) at Guwahati, in the state of Assam. "We women make all the decisions in the family. That includes deciding what schools our children should go to, or how we should spend our family income or even a seemingly unimportant decision like visiting a neighbouring village. Nothing happens in the family without our knowledge and permission" says business woman Lakshmi.
I met Lakshmi atop the picturesque Shillong Peak (Shillong is the capital of Meghalaya) that gives the most breathtaking view of the entire city at 1496 metres above sea level. For the past five years this mother of three says she has been carrying out a lucrative business selling artifacts to visitors who frequent the Peak - her's being the only crafts shop on this mountain peak. Pointing to the wide range of delicately carved bamboo boxes, jewel studded elephants, bamboo mirrors and jute placemats among a dozen other beautiful ornaments which were in much demand by visitors to the peak, she says "I made these myself". I asked her how she found the time to make so many intricately carved items while being a mother of three pre-school children. She shruged and replied, "my husband looks after the children. So no problem. He also helps me to make some of these artifacts after he has finished doing the housework and put the children to sleep".
Yes, Meghalaya is undoubtedly a Woman's world. In this hilly state capital it is a common sight to find a woman behind a cigarette stall or women selling meat in tiny beef stalls set up along the hillsides. Or again women carrying out a brisk sale of vegetables, corn and fruits in make shift stalls dug into the mountains. Even in the main city of Shillong, women were in front line positions everywhere, in the banks, in schools, and even in parliament. As for their menfolk, most of them could be seen loitering on the roadside playing cards or cradling an infant in their hands while accompanying an older child to school. Revathty a beef seller in a tiny beef market cut into the hill slopes of the mountains tells me, "I'd rather do this job than stay home and look after my four kids. This way I get to meet people and socialise. My husband does a good job taking care of the kids, so what more can I ask?" According to India's National Family Health Survey, Meghalaya is where parents have shown the least interest in having a male child - 73 per cent less than their national average. Sons get virtually nothing because of this strong daughter preference. But that does not mean that the menfolk of this northern tribal city are content with their lot. Not by a long shot. Says Peter (95 per cent of the residents are Christians, hence the Christian name) a male housekeeper whose wife works full time in their family owned business selling vegetables and fruits, voicing the opinion of most of his colleagues "we think it is unfair that women have all the power and we have nothing. We have no role to play except to change nappies and feed the babies. Some of my friends have started drinking and taking drugs because we are so frustrated. We want to feel that we too can make a useful contribution to society. After all we too have our rights." So have they set about getting these rights? To quote an article entitled "Women's domination under threat" in South Asia, Bhutan's national newspaper, six years ago, Meghalaya's angry men formed a male Liberation Group called Symbai Rimbai Tong hai (SRT) the group was led by Ablemann Swser until his death two years ago. The SRT demands equal property rights for a male child and a greater role for men in the family. But even here the men apparently have had to face a wall of opposition not just from the women but from their society as a whole. The article quotes John Lyngdoh who now runs the group as saying, "Nobody takes us seriously". In reply, Angela Rangdad of the North East Network, a Maghalaya based NGO says (according to the same newspaper), that although the Khasi and Jaintia society remain matrineal, the patriachial values are gaining ground. "Domestic violence against women is increasing in Meghalaya. This is a sign that men are beginning to assert their power". Women in Meghalaya are also worried that their men may be influenced by what they see in other states where males still rule as heads of the household. The influence of Hindi films too has had its repercussions on this woman dominated state where women bastions are slowly but surely breaking down. Yet in spite of male opposition, Meghalaya still continues to remain unique as one of the bastions of woman power in India's largely male dominated states. |
|
News | Business | Features
| Editorial | Security Produced by Lake House |
