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| Sunday, 7 September 2003 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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Grandparents day - September 13 : Cultivate a grand relationship with your kids by Neville Perera Grandparents and grandchildren share a unique bond. Most kids find it a pleasure to spend time with their grandparents. Grandparents and children love each other's company. This rather strange bond that exists between grandparents and grandchildren is very different from the parent-child one, yet contributes much to a child's emotional development.
Of course, grandparents can choose to remain aloof and some prefer not to get too involved in their grandchild's life, but if they do decide to take an active part, they can exert a powerful influence and can forge a relationship which enriches both the child's life and their own. It is generally said that grandparents fall in love with their grandchildren "at first sight". Infants need a few years before they can return that love, but gradually they come to realise that their mothers and fathers too have parents. Grandparents are custodians of family history - they tell stories about what parents did when they were children, and children love to hear how Thathi and Ammi were as naughty as them and made as many mistakes. Grandparents can play many different roles in their grandchild's life. I know of grandfathers who teach their children how to write poetry and verse. Some help them to be good sportsmen. Grandmothers are usually story tellers. They teach them music and how to sing and dance. Grandparents pass on traditional values and beliefs from generation to generation. These traditions can be religious, cultural etc. We grew up simply watching our grandparents perform the daily prayers and rituals. Even older children feel comfortable in the presence of grandparents because they don't feel they are being judged. A grandparent's role isn't about discipline. It is simply about being present in the family as a listener, advisor and friend. Perhaps it is because grandparents never seem to be short on the two qualities of time and patience that children love to be with them. They have the time to talk, to provide treats and cuddles and to have fun. The relationship between grandparents can be an emotionally enriching one. Kids gain from the older person's knowledge and wisdom. Grandparents should be silent on some issues. Comments such as "your ammi hasn't taught you good manners" or "your Thaththi never took my advice" do nothing to foster a family relationship. If grandparents refuse to alter their behaviour, you may be forced to limit relationship. It is in the best interest of the kids to have the grandparents in their lives. It may take a good deal of effort but if this is achieved, the whole family stands to gain in the end. |
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| Editorial | Security Produced by Lake House |
In the presence of their grandparents, children generally experience a
sense of far greater freedom and feel valued. My grandchildren tell me,
"We can talk to you, Seeya, about everything. You always have the
time to help us with our school work, teach us general knowledge, relate
stories and what not. "I get a lot of pleasure when I am in their
company."
