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Figuring it out after the count

Light Refractions by Lucien Rajakarunanayake

It was another occasion for a post-mortem at the Green Elephant. The mood was sombre with little of the regaling usually seen at the Green Elephant when the jumbos were ruling the jungle, causing disgust at their behaviour among other denizens there.

Malik Alihenduva, still having the strongest influence on Ranil Ali Rajah spoke first. "There is no point in trying to find out why we lost. I think we must somehow make the people believe that in fact it is the betel sellers who lost."

"Do you think you can fool the people so easily" asked Navin Alipetiya.

"Don't forget that the entire business of politics is one of fooling the people, and we jumbos are much better at fooling the people than any others in the field" said Senerath Alikotuva, still very active in jumbo politics, although one of the willing fall guys following the debacle of April 2.

"Then why could we not fool the people enough as to win even one of the six provincial councils," asked Sajith Premahasthi. "In fact we could win only one district and that too by a very small margin despite much trumpeting by the organizer there".

Sakala Banda Dahajaraava did not like the tone or trend of the questions raised seeing a threat to his own ambitions in the Green Elephant. "Remember that I saved my district even by a small margin, while most others even lost their electorates.

I was not given position I asked for to ensure victory in a majority of the provinces. Remember that I am not yet the National Organizer.

Charitha Alibetta with his short spell at the Treasury felt he should intervene. "I agree with Malik Alihenduva that we must make our defeat look a victory. Whatever doubts some of our members may have about our being unable to fool the people I suggest we try a new tactic to achieve our aim".

"What is this new tactic?" asked Milinda Alivanguva, with a look of curious interest.

"We should use statistics. We should throw figures, all types of totals, percentages and statistical interpretations before people to bamboozle them into believing it is we who really won and not the betel sellers", said Charitha Alibetta.

"But who is going to work out these figures and statistics that can fool the people?" asked Navin Alipetiya.

"Well I've already worked that out. I have arranged for a team of statisticians to give the necessary figures that we can present at media briefings, get them published, have editorials written based on them and have them repeated over and over again, until it is believed by the people like a Goebbelsian lie," said Charitha with much conviction.

"I hope this new politics of statistics will not boomerang on us like what happened with our advertising for the bigger battle lost on April 2, when we did not use the creative and advertising talents of our own Ervine Phoenix, and instead did our advertising by auction," said Sajith Premahasthi, not mincing his words.

"Will we also get down special statistical experts from the West, to help execute this new method of fooling the people?" asked Navin Alipetiya.

"I think we have enough talent here, considering how we were always manipulating the Stock Market and statistics about the CWE," said Ravi Alikeliya a.k.a Hora Gajamuthu, at his first outing since he was granted anticipatory bail.

"Who will really take this statistical message to the people?" asked Kapuvath Kolapaata, a senior member of the Green Elephant who was sceptical about the success of this attempt to fool the people.

"Well, we have Prof. Verbose, whose tongue twisting is ideal to present any statistic or percentage calculation that is given to him.

Then we have our editorial writers in the independent media, as well as our favourite producers in the electronic media who can arrange discussions where these figures can be bandied about freely. We've got to keep plugging the line that the betel sellers have no mandate."

"I agree" said Alikeliya. "Mandate should be the key word in this campaign. We must keep on telling the people that even though the betel sellers may have won all six PCs, they still don't have a mandate.

We must stress on low polling figures, and show that all who did not come to vote were opposed to the betel policies."

"What do we say when asked why we could not get our own members and supporters to come and cast their votes and defeat the betel crowd? What if the other side is able to produce statistics that our own people were disenchanted with how things were going on at the Green Elephant?" asked Navin Alipetiya.

"I think the young man has a good point here" said Kapuvath Kolapaata, just to add a small dose of conventional wisdom to the discussion.

"Elections are about winning and losing. Statistics are for the experts and analysts. Why don't we have the courage to accept the fact we lost in the contest for control of all seven PCs, and then begin to identify the causes for our defeat?

May be it will become necessary to have some really big heads rolling, if we are to stop this downhill drive at full speed," said Sajith Premahasthi.

Bulath Heppuva

Milinda Alivanguva was heard again. He did not seem too excited with all this figuring out game. "I will leave it to you all to juggle with statistics. I think it is time for me to go down to my next meetings with the grass roots".

"Looks like he's ploughing the field to get his own roots into the soil, strong and firm. I don't like it. Well have to keep a watch on him too, said Sajith Premahasthi to Navin Alipetiya.

Meanwhile, at the Bulath Heppuva everyone was busy with different calculations. They were working on a variety of equations that would give the near magical figure of 113, if not a few more.

"What is the point in all this winning if we can't get at 113 at the Diyawanna Oya" asked Wimal Rakthawansa, working out his next propaganda ploy to get at this figure.

"I place my calculations on the plantations" said Susil Neelajayantha.

The big guy there is in a fix. He can't even pretend to do anything for his people, without control of the Central Province, which was his hope.

He must be badly in need of a portfolio if he is to have any credibility with his own people."

"I think we must calculate on how many from the Green Elephant we can get to support us.

With all the rumblings of discontent going on there, I'm sure several of them must be wanting to do something daring to have some big heads rolling at the top.

We must not leave them out of our calculations," said Jeyaraj Katanapulle.

There was no lack of calculations, but one had the feeling that some of the betel sellers there knew something more than the others, and were keeping it close to their chests.

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