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| Sunday, 3 April 2005 |
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Telling Tales The odd butterfly Dilshan got up early to go to office. It was quite sometime since he felt happy to go to office again, or for that matter anywhere. Today was special to him, as it was the day he wanted to propose marriage to Nirmala. His little son was sleeping beside him, and he got up soon, as he knew that if Seshan woke, it would be difficult for him to leave. All last year's leave was taken because of Seshan's tantrums in the mornings.
Precious His friend had tried to find him a suitable wife, but nothing seemed to have worked out as he had lost interest in everything after Tania's death. He was only interested in his precious son, and sometimes would take him to office too, when he knew that his boss would be absent. He could not stop himself from whistling, while in the washroom. Nirmala's beautiful face with large expressive eyes came to his mind. Her wavy hair was worn in a long plait. Her sari was draped well and her jackets were long, so that her midriff could not be seen, and even the sleeves of her jackets were long. Nirmala was the typical girl from the village, and was quite different to the city girls he was used to. She wore a pair of tiny gold ear-studs and no chain nor bangles. Lipstick was taboo to her. She never wore those latest fashionable short frocks or slit-skirt that exposed the wearer's leg so much, that it left little to the imagination. Unlike the other girls he had known, he had never seen Nirmala changing accessories each day. Tania's large container of jewellery (mostly artificial) was still on the dressing table of his bedroom. Anyway, Nirmala was very much different to the city girls Dilshan knew. Even her words were hardly audible when she spoke. Refined He had gathered, that she was from a middle class family in the village, which maybe the reason she seemed so refined in her behaviour and attire, thought Dilshan to himself. She has joined his office about a year back, and at first he had avoided her, in the same way he avoided the other giggling, laughing office girls. When he came into the room, he could hear them saying, "There he comes, stop laughing, otherwise he might scold us", because sometimes he used to reprimand them for making such a big din. Sometimes he could hear one girl whispering, "Poor Dilshan, he has changed so much after the death of his wife. He had loved Tania, and now he cannot take it up". He wondered why they could not leave him alone, and felt like throwing something at them. He could hear them talk about their boyfriends, and he thought they were like butterflies flying from one flower to another, the way they changed boyfriends. But, he got the idea that Nirmala was of different quality. On the second day after she joined office, during the lunch interval when most of the office staff was out, he saw her doing her accounts work. She was working hard at her computer, and knew that she was finding the work difficult from the look on her face. But he did not want to ask whether she needed any help. He thought to himself, "Let her tackle it herself. In one more week she will also be like those giggling butterflies. She too will start to snigger at me". The next day too it was the same. She did not go out with the other girls, but was at her computer trying to work. He felt sorry for her. He called to her from where he was sitting and asked "Miss, do you need any help?" Surprise She turned to look at him as if in surprise, and then her face lit up in a slight smile. She nodded her head. Then it became almost regular for her to get his help during the interval. She was eager to learn, and he enjoyed teaching her the accounts work. When helping her with the work, she used to draw him into conversation. He felt himself talking on various topics, as he had done quite a long time ago, before Tania's death. He talked about himself and little Seshan. He told her his dreams about Seshan - how he wanted to give him the best of everything and to see that he grew up to be an honest person. He told her, how he was trying hard to get a place for his son in the school he had studied in. It was supposed to be the best boys' school in the Island. Antics When he spoke, about Seshan's antics, Nirmala would laugh with a tinkling sound, which he loved to hear. She too would tell him about the examinations, she was going to sit, and how her parents wanted her to study. She was boarded in Colombo and had told him how her parents had told her to be careful in the city, where a person could get drawn to many evils. He felt he had to keep an eye on such an innocent person like Nirmala. He felt she was like a tiny white jasmine flower, so naive and so sweet. She had seemed a bit busy during the last month, and had not come to work on Saturdays. She had said that her mother was not well and that she had to go home during the weekends to attend to her. But nevertheless she had been coming to him for help with her work, when she needed it. The boys in the other divisions too used to drop in when she was new to the office, and had tried to talk to her. But, she has not seemed to want to talk to any of them. He thought, since he had known her for about a year, it was time for him to tell her, about how he felt about her. He thought he would tell that she had all the qualities he wanted in a wife. In fact, he felt that she had better qualities than Tania. Tania was a typical city girl, wanting to attend parties all the time. He had had to take Tania out to dinner every Saturday night. If there were any parties or outings, she generally made it a point not to miss them and Dilshan had to tolerate all these, as otherwise Tania would turn quite nasty when she did not get her own way. Birthday He knew it was Nirmala's birthday, that day and after deliberate thought, had bought a very charming gold bracelet from a reputed jeweller the week before. He had wrapped the box carefully and tied it with a pink ribbon. Little Seshan has asked him, "Thaththi, is that for me?" He had replied, "No, son, it's for Nirmala aunty who sends you 'jaggery toffees and 'aluwa'". When Nirmala went home for weekends she had brought sweets and asked Dilshan to give them to Seshan. He walked into office quite early, as he wanted to talk to Nirmala all-alone. Nirmala normally came to office quite early, so he thought he would be able to wish her a happy birthday and give the present that he had so carefully chosen for her. He also wished to convey his feelings. He knew that because he was a widower, it would be difficult to get permission from Nirmala's parents. But, from what she had told him, he had gathered that her parents would always be with her in her choice of marriage. He felt confident enough to ask her about marrying him, as he had felt that she too seemed to like him. After sometime, the other office girls came in. Some of them seemed to be dressed up as if to go to a party. They seemed to be wearing more jewellery than on other days. They all seemed excited and he could see them in a far corner, re-arranging their saris, applying make-up on each other, while chattering. They looked like colourful butterflies flitting about. When someone came in through the entrance, he looked up quickly to see whether it was Nirmala. But no Nirmala turned up. He wanted to ask the fluttering girls, why Nirmala was absent, but stopped himself. He thought he would ask Ishika, the leave-clerk, who sat next to Nirmala, whether Nirmala had submitted a leave-chit. He thought that he was behaving like a schoolboy, and felt ashamed, but knew he could not help it. Ishika finished applying mascara on another girl and went past his table to her corner. Dilshan called Ishika and asked her whether Nirmala was on leave that day. Ishika turned her heavily made up face to look at him in surprise. She asked him "Dilshan, don't you know that Nirmala was getting married today? The wedding is in a big hotel in Colombo. She is marrying a relative, who had been abroad for sometime. He is supposed to be very rich and educated. Can you remember how she used to go to the post office every Monday, to post letters? Those letters were for Jayasiri. She also told us that Jayasiri liked her because she was beautiful, though she did not have much money. We thought she would have invited you and Seshan, because she was quite friendly with you, and used to get your help to do all her accounts work. But she was a bit peculiar with all her charm, and anyway these days you have to limit your wedding guests too, because these five-star hotels are so expensive". He felt as if he had been given a hard slap on his cheek, and tried to stop his mouth from opening in surprise. He quickly turned on his computer and started to look at the figures on the screen. He could feel the blood drain from his face. He felt that the figures on the computer screen were dancing in glee at his discomfort. He could see Ishika watching him intently and he felt he had to reply. He told her, "Of course, she had told me that she was getting married, but I forgot that today was the date." He could see Ishika running back to the other girls from the corner of his eye. He could hear her telling something to them, but it was not clear to him. Then he heard them going into peals of laughter. His ears could hear the re-echoing of the ringing tones of their laughter. He could not bear to look at them even from the corner of his eye. He went back to his work, and tried to forget the odd butterfly. by Prasadini Nugawela |
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Though Dilshan's mother was there to look after Seshan, who was now
four years, he remembered his own mother and seemed to think that his
father too would vanish like his mother. Tania had died when they were
expecting their second baby. The little baby too had died. 
