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| Sunday, 10 April 2005 |
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Telling Tales : Nostalgia It was the hundredth time, that Shiran noticed Anuradha watching him. At their first meeting, Shiran had been addressing the new volunteers gathered at the 'Galleria' to launch a project to help the orphanages in the area. She was looking anxious and ambitious.
Wonder Every month group leaders met Shiran and discuss their progress and future plans. It was at their first monthly meeting that Shiran began to wonder about his judgement over Anuradha's interest. Though, throughout the month Shiran had caugh a glimpse of Anuradha watching him, he had misjudged and ignored her interest. He was not sure why she was following his every step. He thought that perhaps she wanted to be like him in the future. But while they were discussing, matters at the meeting, he noticed that Anuradha was watching every move of his with keen interest. It embarrassed Shiran. His life, had been too busy with community work and he had not had the chance of falling in love. He was determined to dedicate his life to social work and was not interested in girls. But now for the first time in his life, Anuradha was beginning to make an impression. Shiran blushed every time he looked at Anuradha, during the meeting and wondered whether any one was noticing them. Though he recognised, the spark in Anuradha's eyes, she never blushed or gave him an opportunity to have any relationship outside work. During the next few months, Shiran found many reasons to call Anuradha. Though most of them were unnecessary calls, he wondered whether she would realise it. He could not help but continue to call. Though, each time he wanted to give her a hint that he would love to make friends with her, having had no experiences in flirting with girls, he failed to do so. Thus each call ended up sounding official. And to his annoyance Anurada was not getting the hint nor did she make any attempt to initiate an 'unofficial call'. Achievements By the time they met to discuss the achievements of the project for the year, Shiran was madly in love with Anuradha. He was full of dreams of their future together. But, to his greatest disappointment and confusion, Anuradha was not cooperating at all. She just went on watching him. He had noticed that even though her eyes were set on him, her mind was elsewhere. He thought, that she too was sharing his dreams. The smiles on her face embodied and betrayed her secret dreams. But Shiran failed to initiate a direct step to enter her dreams and all his indirect attempts led him nowhere. It was because of this continuous ignorance, that Shiran began to wonder whether Anurada was really interested in him. She never took the opportunities he offered, to make friends with him. Even after months, theirs remained only a work relationship. They had not had the opportunity of being friends or figuring out whether they really wanted to make a lifetime commitment. Though, in mind, he blamed her for not taking the opportunities, he was also cursing himself for being such a cowered. Everytime, he went to her with the hope of making a closer relationship, he ended up returning home achieving nothing. All his rehearsals were in vain. Unspoken love Having suffered, for many months with his unspoken love, Shiran decided to reveal his love to Anuradha at their last meeting. He anxiously waited till the gathering was slowly departing. After they bid farewell and wished each other success, he stammered that he would like to drop her home, if she didn't mind it. She accepted the offer, and waved sadly at the remaining volunteers as their mission was over, and they would not meet again. In the car, Shiran tried to recall his well rehearsed words while he was trying to avoid city traffic and enter in to a calm sub way. Once they turned to the sub way, to his surprise Anuradha took his hand in hers and said; 'Oh Shiran it was such a pleasure to have worked with you. You are just like my ex-boy friend. The way you talk... the way you walk... the dedication and commitment you have... oh God you are just like him. Each time I look at you I recall him, I live in the past and recall every movement as if they are happening just now before me. When I look at you I can think of nothing but him. I really appreciate you for tolerating my day dreaming at the monthly meetings. But I hope I have managed to the expected work to your standards... and..." Shiran didn't hear a single word she uttered after that. Once he dropped her at her doorstep, and politely refused her invitation for tea, he drove straight back to the orphanage where all the children loved him unconditionally. - Imali Weerasinghe |
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The
interest in her eyes, had made him look at her several times, as if he was
addressing her alone. But then, he thought that what he noticed in the
young volunteer's eyes was her desire to help the orphans. He was not
interested in her more than any other young person present. They were all
exited with their good causes and their eyes mirrored their enthusiasm. He
met many such volunteers every year and was used to their excitement and
interest. Every year, he chose the people with the most ambitious eyes to
be the leaders of the sub groups. It was this judgement which made him
chose Anuradha as the leader of Group C. 
