Boyfriend System Vs Husband System

Why do network applications in the Boyfriend System go astray when you upgrade it to Husband System?

by Shanta Acharya

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded Boyfriend System to Husband (1.0) System and noticed a distinct slowdown in the performance of the flower, jewellery and other network applications that had operated flawlessly in the Boyfriend system.

Husband 1.0 has un-installed valuable programmes, such as Romance, Night-out, Real Passion, and automatically installed many undesirable programmes - Cricket, Football and News Eternal. The Conversation programme no longer runs as before, and House cleaning, simply crashes the system.

I've tried running the latest Nagging software, adding a new welcome screen to our favourite settings; examined all my folders, searched his documents for evidence of infected files or commands corrupting the Passion programme, creative play centres and other functions.

The Husband 1.0 system has acquired a mind of its own. It changes font colour when I paste kisses on it, whereas the Boyfriend system had positively puffed with satisfaction. The outlook for messenger services has deteriorated, access to weekly live-updates no longer excel in their power and are never to the point.

What help can you provide, dear Tech Support, in restoring Husband 1.0 to the default configuration of Boyfriend 5.0?

Dear Customer,

Be realistic and not too critical, bear in mind that Boyfriend was an entertainment package but Husband 1.0 is an operating system. A whole new concept; they cannot be compared.

Try to enter the command C: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME when you switch Husband 1.0 on next, then install Tears. Husband 1.0 should automatically run the following applications: Guilt, Flowers, Dinner-at-your-favourite-restaurant. But remember, overuse of this application can cause Husband (1.0) to default to Grumpy Silence (2.0) or Happy Hour (4.0).

Note that Drinking Beer (6.0) is a disruptive programme, generating Snoring Loudly files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law or another Boyfriend programme. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband (1.0). No amount of rebooting or repair can then restore the system.

It could also trigger Husband (1.0) to default to programme Girlfriend, that runs dormant in the background. It has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the operating system. Husband (1.0) is a great programme, but comes with limited memory; and has been known to be rather slow in learning new applications.

You might consider buying additional software to enhance system performance. Personally, I recommend Hot Food 4.0, Single-Malt Scotch 5.0 supported by Black Satin Lingerie 6.0, which have been credited with improved hardware performance.