A life in the day of a pregnant lady

by Chamitha Kuruppu

For twenty-seven-year old Nileema Amaratunga, pregnancy is more an emotional battle than a physical challenge. "I am in my eighth month, but I was lucky enough to not gain any weight. I still wear my normal clothes," she says proudly. "But, the comments I get from my colleagues and relatives are intolerable," points out Nileema.

They always comment about my clothes. They think that I neglect and hurt my baby by wearing fashionable clothes. My in-laws keep insisting that I should wear maternity clothes. But as a marketing executive, I need to think about my looks although I am pregnant," she complains. "Will I ever hurt my own baby? I love my career and my looks, just as I like to be a mother," notes Nileema.

Amali had little noticed the struggle of her mother, trying to juggle with her multiple roles as a single parent and an ardent career woman, until she was pregnant with her first baby. Amali was blessed with all the support from her husband, in-laws and especially her mother throughout her pregnancy.

While cherishing the change of her life from a career woman to a full-time mother, Amali had found new respect for her mother and millions of women who struggle alone throughout this miraculous and frustrating phase of life.

Longest nine months

"It was the longest nine months in my life. It was demanding, exciting, worrying but yet satisfying," stresses Amali. She believes that one needs all the support from ones family and colleagues to face the physical and emotional changes in their lives. "This is why I respect mothers who struggle alone during their pregnancy. Even if they are strong enough to battle with the physical changes, how could someone be so bold to survive all those emotional changes," stresses this twenty-something new mother.

Pregnancy and motherhood, a common but yet a challenging task a woman is compelled to take on, will no doubt change the entire lifestyle and requires much attempt and courage. Unlike the good old days, where women concentrated only on their household chores and child bearing - women today, who are more ambitious and career-oriented face extra challenges with the struggle to continue their multiple roles.

On the other hand, even though it is an experience that has happened countless times, to countless women, every pregnancy is unique and momentous to each woman. "Believe me, being three is never the same as being two," chuckles thirty-two-year old Surani, mother of a four-month old baby boy. " But the most challenging phase in motherhood is the nine months of pregnancy," stresses Surani. " I bloated like a balloon.

I freaked when my once-slim body started to bloat day by day. I was so scared that I will never look the same and that my husband will stop loving me,"

Most challenging things

She says that the simplest tasks such as putting on sneakers and getting into a pair of pants became the most challenging things in a pregnant woman's life. "My husband says that I looked like a crazy dog when I was struggling to put my shoes on. I still remember the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy, I started making a funny sound when bending and doing any work at floor level," recalls Surani.

Bhavani, who in her second trimester too agrees with Nileema saying that fighting the emotional blues, is the most challenging task in pregnancy. "While dealing with all the mood swings due to the hormonal changes, tolerating the continuous advice from relatives, neighbours and especially strangers, has become a major challenge," says Bhavani.

"They will tell you what to eat, how to dress, when to bathe and even what to read. It's intolerable," complains Bhavani. "I hate when strangers try to feel my stomach and comment about the size of it," she says angrily.Bhavani, who also travels daily by bus, says, although it is clearly visible that she is pregnant, she is rarely offered a seat in the bus. "Unless I get into an empty bus I rarely get a chance to sit.

At work, other than in my department, I don't get much privilege. Be it the cafeteria or the wash room I have to wait in the queue just like others. People today have lost their values," stresses Bhavani. However, for Joanne, who was on a constant battle with her husband who believed they need more time to think about a baby, being 'accidentally pregnant' was like winning a lottery ticket. "I was so happy, but worried and scared to tell my husband.

When I finally did, he was speechless for nearly two hours. Although I was expecting negative reaction from him, he later came and hugged me, congratulating. Today, when I freak about being a mother and the responsibilities he is the one who consoles me,"

Twenty-three year old Rifka who was pregnant with her first child just two months after her arranged marriage received little support from her husband during the first couple of months. "I hardly knew him. Although I was severely suffering from morning sickness I was afraid to tell him anything," recalls Rifka. "Towards the last trimester he got more involved in the whole process. He was more excited about the baby than I was. He spoke to my swollen belly every day and read stories to it at night. That was the best time in my pregnancy," says Rifka with a smile.

"The best thing in my pregnancy was the food I received. It was so cool. I had to only mention what I liked to eat, and within days and sometimes within minutes it was there, with a lovely presentation, all waiting there till I finish it in one go," chuckles Shihani. "I never had any craving, but I pretended that I did. Once in a while I mentioned about food that my husband liked the most. So he never felt left-out when I got the opportunity to try all the yummy food," she says.

Cravings

"What cravings, I was experiencing food aversion throughout the nine months in my all three pregnancies. Every time I looked like a walking skeleton," says Christine, a mother of three beautiful daughters. " It was like a nightmare.

Then, I was no longer wearing matching clothes. I never wore any make-up. I forgot to read and watch television. I had less interest in my career. I used to hate my husband, every little word he said was a start to a long fight, I forgot how food tasted and I hardly knew how a good night's sleep feels. At the beginning of each pregnancy I used to swear that I will never get pregnant again," says Christine.

"But, the moment I felt those kicks, ungraceful, but yet much wanted movements inside my swollen stomach, my whole idea of being pregnant changed. When my three daughters call me by the most beautiful word in the world, "mommy' - I feel I am once again ready to go through all the physical and emotional changes, tolerate all the advice and comments, forget about my slim body and get into those distasteful maternity clothes and be pregnant again,"