Why don't men cook at home?

by Rikaza Hassan

Existence necessitates that we consume food - three main meals a day, a little tea and snacking in between; the process forces us to feed upon at least somewhat edible fare, nevermind gourmet cuisine.

And it is to women, it would seem that this important task has befallen, like it is to women that child-bearing has been bestowed upon. Females are subjugated to the kitchen all over the world, the situation is even worse in a country such as ours. The enigma begs a question: why don't men cook at home?

"The kitchen is the purview of a woman and not the place for men," says Mr. Hasheem*. "It is the traditional way. It is not done to have a man cooking the family meals over a fire. My daughters were all taught to cook while my sons were never let into the kitchen. They have their wives to cook for them now."

His daughter however, completely disagrees. "Whether man or woman, it is important to know to cook. When my brother went overseas for studies, he had to live on bread and cheese until he got his act together.

In my marriage I cook because only my husband works, but what will he do if I fall sick and he can't cook. We can't afford to buy out for a week, neither can he and the kids starve. When it comes to marriages where both partners work, I think it is only fair that the household chores are shared. Otherwise it ends up being plain slave labour, like during my mother's time."

Dispelling the myth that the male kind is naturally inept at cooking, is Executive Pastry Chef, Colombo Hilton, Gerard Mendis, who loves cooking. "I do cook at home. I enjoy cooking, the reason is as simple as that.

I love to cook when we're entertaining people and at times I just cook for my family even though we do have a cook at home. Sometimes, I teach him a dish or two. I do a lot of cooking for my family."

So, does his wife cook? "No, she doesn't cook," he laughs. "I think it's because she knows that I can" He states further that his colleagues likewise do cook for their families as well. "They enjoy cooking at home as well, and love entertaining."

So, is the secret to make men cook to make them fall in love with the culinary art? Soon to be married Manoj most certainly agrees with our chef. "I de-stress after a hard day of work by cooking myself a simple but delightful meal. I even got my fiancee to agree to our first date by promising her a candle-lit, home-cooked gourmet meal. After that she was all mine."

Will things not change after the rings have been exchanged? "She can't cook at all, so obviously I'll have to take care of the cooking and whatever else makes up my fifty per cent of the chores. After all, this is a modern marriage, not some eighteenth century family arrangement."

Women have only themselves to blame when it comes to husbands not cooking for their families, according to Krishan*. "As children our mothers shoo us away from the kitchen and don't teach us to cook. When we get married and try to do our duty by helping the wives, once again we are shooed out of the kitchen. Later when they can't handle it anymore, the wives start complaining and nagging us about why don't we do some cooking? We are not allowed to learn, not allowed to help, and of course we get used to not cooking. Men cannot be blamed for women's decisions and indecisiveness."

Whether it is an unwillingness to fry an egg, an inability to boil rice or a prohibition to barbecue, it would seem that the average local man will not be roasting, boiling or fixing anything in the kitchen anytime soon.

*names have been changed