Darling we aren't too old, though we pass the Jubilee Gold

'I never felt challenged because I knew he loved me very much'

by Lakmal Welabada

"She was a blooming flower when I first saw her. Since that day, my heart has been only for her."

"She is a good cook. I really enjoy whatever she makes. No matter whether it's Buriyani or rice and curry or a plain Pol Sambol, as when it blends with 'love' it's delicious."

"I live for her, and she lives for me. We have gathered no big property, but the happy life ever after."

Dear reader, to get that kind of compliment from a husband is an infrequent and unique circumstance. Once one of my female friends said that many husbands do appreciate their wives, but rarely state it openly. While living in a world which has turned to a place of 'man has become a maneater' where human life has no value, how could we expect even a married couple would whisper a word of appreciation to each other.

But Edmond and Indrani are a rare couple who reveal their love story to the Sunday Observer's 'love corner'... Although being a national newspaper and amidst carrying articles of politics and many other social issues, the Sunday Observer sets apart almost a full page to reveal the senior personalities and their long spanned married life assuming it would someway around set an example to the future generation.

This is because without any doubt any civilised community in the world accept that the 'family unit' plays the major role in a society.

When Edmond saw Indrani for the first time in his life she was a little girl. Hence he had never had any especial intention about her. "She was just a girl then. We are related distantly. One of our relatives was in the hospital. I saw her beside the sick bed of his. She had come there with her mother. I was boarded in a relative's place at that time.

Later that relative of mine asked me whether I would like to accompany them to attend a grown-up party. I also went with them. To my surprise it was her party of attaining puberty. But still she was a little cousin to me," says Edmond bashfully.

Edmond Kankanam Pathiranage Hettiarachchi was born as the fourth off spring of a Forest officer, Devid Appuhamy K. P. Hettiarachchi and Dona Ciciliana Wickremasinghe Abeywardane at Devundara. Along with his two sisters and two brothers, he lived happily in their full unit of beautiful family.

Life is not always with sun shine. Edmond recalls a forlorn period with his sister's death. "One of my sisters died of appendeticitis at the age of 13 or 14 years. She was very fair and pretty. I still can remember her body lying on the bed before placing it in a coffin.

I saw a black dot of dirt on her fair face, and quickly took it off. I was very small, and did not have any idea of death, and of course didn't know that she was dead. She was just 'sleeping' on the bed like the little 'Snow White' we read in the fairy tales," he recalls.

Edmond first studied at Dapulusen Mixed School and Bilingual School at Devundara. Then entered St. Servatious College, Matara, and got through the Senior School Certificate (SSC) and London Matriculation. "Unlike today the transport service was really poor at that time. We used to walk for many miles to reach school.

Those days having a Buggy-cart was like having a car, and was a luxury. The girls of the family were sent in it, and we, the boys had to walk to school. We never wore shoes until we entered college. However once a boy passed the Junior School Certificate (JSC), it was an unwritten custom to present him a bicycle. So once we got it the journey to school became easy," he reminisces.

Edmond recalls many other incidents of his happy childhood. "Since my father was in the Forest Department, we often used to get bee hives. Unlike today, we, the children rarely got sweets to eat. So something like bees honey was so precious to us. I was a kid who sucked milk from my mother until I was six or seven years. Still my cousins tease me over it," he laughs.

"Actually, milk powder was introduced later as a substitute, and all our ancestors including us switched on to fresh cow milk once our mothers weaned," butts in Indrani. "Also those days, those who ever visited home were offered with a cup of plain tea with a piece of jaggery, or a glass of herbal drink like Iramusu or Ranawara. If we got any especial visitor then we would offer them a cup of tea with 'Tin Kiri' (liquid form milk comes in a handy tin)," she says.

"I played foot ball among the coconut trees of the village, and volleyball at school," says Edmond. He entered the government service by sitting for the clerical exam, and the Ministry of Food and Co-operative was the place he got his first appointment in 1945.

"My first monthly salary was Rs. 70, but along with the war allowance which the government servants were paid it came to around Rs. 110," reminisces Edmond. Edmond was serving at Anuradhapura, and was offering his government bungalow to everybody who visits there on pilgrimage.

However, he didn't fail to send a letter to Indrani's father (a distant relative of his who has also become a good friend of his) as well inviting him to come to Anuradhapura. Indrani's parents who had become really fond of Edmond, their distant nephew did not hesitate to accept the offer.

So the three of them came to Anuradhapura on January 7 in 1953. Edmond took them to worship 'Atamasthanaya' (the eight places treated sacred by Buddhists) in Anuradhapura in one of his friend's vehicle. Edmond got a bit of a chance to have a few words with Indrani who was then in her fifteens.

The bashful maid kept smiling all the time for what and what ever he utters to her. She gave a handful of flowers to him to offer to the shrine hardly looking at him. The teen smelt the sweet fragrance of love blossoming out in Edmond's heart for her. But the strict disciplinary atmosphere did not let her bloom. She knew how to suppress it.

When they left after a successful pilgrimage of two days, Edmond felt extremely lonely in his bungalow. His other colleagues who shared the place with him knew what had made him upset.

"Hitha randunu randunu then vala muwa madala hina huna, Oba mathaka nathi karannata mata mathaka nethi vuna," one of his pals in his 'Chamari' sang in his ear a few lines of the famous song of Milton Perera when Edmond was in deep thought of Indrani.

Edmond came to a decision. In the very next week (on January 14, 1953) he paid a visit at Indrani's place at Kotahena, and forwarded his proposal to her father. "We have no objection son, but you should get the consent of your parents as well. And also let her pass her SSC," said her father.

Wadanambi Arachchige Indrani Jinadasa was born on October 23 in 1938 the only child of W. A. Jinadasa of Port Commission in Colombo and Beatrice Ranaweera. Indrani's pet name was Rani. She was the little princess of her parents who was brought up with all the comforts in a secured environment with lots of love and care.

What her parents wanted was not a king who would keep their daughter on a lap of luxury and would run to his harem often, but a good man who would feed and clothe her while giving her the best attention and true love. So all what they looked for was there in young Edmond.

Edmond patiently waited until his sweet heart finished her exams. He often visited them, but never inserted love thoughts into her mind as he had no bad vision of spoiling her education. "I had gone for films with her, but her mother always accompanied us," he smiles.

However though getting the consent of his parents was not that easy for them. "Both my brothers got married to teachers. Teaching was highly respected at that time. So my parents expected me also to do the same. Due to this fact, getting their consent was postponed day by day.

I was bewildered over this," he says. "So one day, Indrani and her parents wanted to visit their relative at Mulathiyana, off Matara. I thought this would be a great opportunity for me to take them to my place. Parents arranged lunch for them at my place at Devundara.

They came, and had meals while having a hearty discussion. Once they were about to set off I noticed my parents were whispering something to each other. My heart started pounding fast as I thought they were going to tell something distasteful to them. My father went out excusing himself, and my mother continued to have a chat with them.

After sometime my father came home with a parcel in his hand. He had gone to the junction to buy a beautiful Georgette saree to present Indrani. Along with that gift from them to her, I knew my parents had given their consent," laughs Edmond.

Edmond and Indrani got married on March 4 in 1957, immediately after Indrani's SSC exam. "I sat for the exam in December in 1956, got married after three months, and had my first baby in the same year. It was a great change in my life that was waiting patiently to turn on for a long time.

I never felt challenged as I knew he loved me so much," smiles Indrani while showing the heart shape pendent, the first gift from Edmond to her with their initials on and the date they came to an agreement - 14.01.53.

The two daughters, son, children-in-law and the seven grandchildren of Edmond and Indrani gave them a big pleasant surprise by arranging an alms giving and a Pirith Pinkama for their Golden Jubilee Anniversary, that fell last March. "We are really happy about our married life and of our children.

I could collect many properties for us, but never wanted beyond our limits as we've always thought we 'would not take them when we die and go'...," points out Edmond while showing a para from the book (based on Buddhist doctrine), 'Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah' forwarded by Jack Kornfield - "If death is within you, then where are you going to run to escape it? Whether you are afraid or not, you die just the same. There's no where to escape death".....

Edmond is a simple man with full of wit. He has been in the National dress (sarong and shirt) since the days of N.Q.Dias of Panadura who launched the 'Chaam andum vyaparaya' (the movement of simple dress) in 1953s.

"Follow the five precepts of the Dhamma. That would ensure success for everything," concludes Edmond.

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