Guys and their games

by Sajitha Prematunge

From time immemorial guys and their games have been inseparable. Irrespective of what kind of a game they may be engrossed in, whether it is video games, cricket, baseball, football, rugger, Volley ball, basketball, Hockey, ice hockey, American football, Karate, etc.... etc.... in many parts of the world, this has become a universal problem for all women.

In fact it could be safe to suppose that perhaps they like it just as much as sex, or even more so. Guys forget their girl friends, lovers, families and job responsibilities, when they get engrossed in watching games. These manias take many forms depending on their localities and their respective attractions.

In USA it's MBA for basketball, "Superball" for baseball, same goes for Japan, Brazil, Italy, France, Argentina, Germany, Mexico and England, FIFA for football. In Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, Australia, South Africa and New Zealand the main attraction is ICC World Cup for cricket. The guys are glued to the TVs during the world cup, specially when the home team's playing. This can be considered as good patriotism but in some cases there comes a point when we, women run out of patience.

Some sports fans are known to even give over the phone commentaries, while watching games, to their girl friends. The explanation for video game hugging, by a regular guy was that "guys like to try out novel things" and maybe with luck and the passage of time this will ware off! But some times it could be rather addictive.

He said that it depends on how the product is presented. Take Coca Cola for example. The secret for its' success may very likely lie in the advertising. Another sports fan accurately pointed out that sports fanaticism is better than drugs and drinks.

And it's not restricted to men as generally believed. He said some women watch rugby because they like to watch masculine men at play. They used to get ready for weeks before matches such as CR & FC vs Havelocks. But the limelight is now on cricket.

A real sports fanatic

But to get to the bottom of sport fanaticism, and its' effects, I had to get hold of a real sports fanatic and his wife. Nalin Susantha Randeniya says that he not only likes sports, but admits that his fanaticism has reached the point of mania.

Being a colossal businessman, his vocation frequently takes him out of Colombo. If and when a cricket match falls on the same day the only option is to watch the match standing in front of Singer show rooms or to go to a restaurant or hotel for tea, even at odd hours.

"By the time I get back home it's usually well over mid night" said Nalin laughing. When ever there is an important match at the Dambulla grounds he postpones all his prior engagements and goes all the way to Dambulla to watch it. "There's a lot of clapping and yelling involved" said Mrs. Randeniya.

"Where ever there's a cricket match, even a kids match, he stops the car and starts watching the match" She also says that although he particularly prefers to watch the national team play, he likes all matches in general.

Although his wife was typically protective of him and tried to defend him, he accepted that when an important cricket match was taking place, literally nothing got done on his part. All the usual business deals, bank affairs, chores were shifted, switched or postponed to make way for "The Match" He hardly ever eats, drinks, sleeps or even showers during the all important match. "I usually shower at night on those days".

He also doesn't appreciate being interrupted during the match, any incoming phone calls are cut short. If the match is not going in favour of the home team, he claims that he turns the TV off and turns it back on again in five minutes or so and if the going is good he keeps watching and if not he repeats the process until the end of the match.

The match is the main topic for weeks afterwards, when good players are praised and bad players are condemned. "If our team loses a wicket while my wife was talking I consider it as her fault and get very irritated" After pulling an-all-nighter, Nalin admits that it's difficult to carry on as usual the next day, but dismisses it saying that he can't help it.

This has been the extent of his fanaticism. He says that men like him, like the adrenalin rush, although not the nausea, but later admitted that later when you turn back it all seems absurd.

On my way home I always go by an electrical goods store where they have two types of TV sets on either side. The first set displaying music videos and the second set presenting a gruelling wrestling match.

And I guess I don't have to give you any clues where all the people flock to - the wrestling game, since there are no women to watch music videos at an electrical goods store at 7.30 pm. Consequently men can be categorized as stereotypical macho, who likes their macho games and women as stereotypical anti macho.

Neither right nor wrong

Medical doctor and author of the best seller Gehenu lova pirimi lova Dr. Priyanga De Zoysa told the Sunday Observer that this type of behaviour is neither right nor wrong. It's just how men respond to stress. He further explained that men and women respond to stress in different ways.

Women usually respond to stress by talking and men respond to it by not talking. When women deal with stress by talking to a friend, going shopping or window shopping, men deal with it by watching TV, reading the paper, or doing both at the same time. But this only becomes a problem when either of the parties don't understand the other.

The wife starts to think that the husband's neglecting her or the husband thinks that she's nagging him. This is a problem of perception: women and men perceive "watching TV" in different ways.

In this case: 'sports fanaticism' the woman, wife, girl or fiancee should understand that, to a man watching a game is a natural inner need arising out of the necessity to relieve stress. Men are naturally macho and seek action and drama. And the next best thing to relieving stress by being with fellow men, or being physically involved in a sport, is watching a game. This gives men the sort of relaxation women gain by shopping.

Although when a man appears to be over engrossed in games the woman might misinterpret it as negligence out of disrespect. If women knew that it was a necessity, they would learn to be a little more tolerant. "Take shopping for example" explained the doctor "women may go to the same store to look at the same clothes hours on end, for days in a row.

To a man this may seem like a complete waste of time and money. But for the woman this is a source of stress release." All relationships are based on understanding and love. But both sexes require expressions of love, by the opposite sex, in different ways.

Women crave for attention, respect and kindness from men, men desire approval and encouragement from women. Dr. De Zoysa explained that therefore both women and men should learn to tolerate and allow each other's inner needs.

So guys take note, and think before you holler, with the right amount of mutual understanding any squabble can be overcome.

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